Hi All
A brief summary: I look after my Mum 24/7 for these last two years who suffers from dementia. She is in the latter stages. My family, my sister and uncle, took my Mum under false pretenses to the Memory Clinic to get diagnosed, under the guise of 'it's just another cardiology appointment', ignoring the fact she had already promised to kill herself if she ever got diagnosed. I was away and in favour of pre-conselling before the appointment (as was dictated in NICE) but was also ignored as 'Mental health (my Mum's as well as mine; I suffer from depression) was stupid'.
Mum dropped to five stone after this debacle. She was left alone, letting the CPN's fifteen minute a day visit (if lucky) be enough, and Mum burnt herself very badly.
I have been here ever since.
Mum, naturally, has had an aversion (to put it mildly) to care. She views it as being 'taken away'. I have reluctantly come to the conclusion I cannot look after her at home any more. I have found a good looking care home. They 'feel' right. They are willing to take her in next week.
Any advice on how I approach this with Mum?
The care home has suggested just dropping her off and leaving while they distract her. I can phone every day but should not visit for a couple of weeks.
How do I break it to Mum that I am taking her to a care home? Do I lie? Say it is a social group? Has anybody got any similar experience they could share?
Thank you.
A brief summary: I look after my Mum 24/7 for these last two years who suffers from dementia. She is in the latter stages. My family, my sister and uncle, took my Mum under false pretenses to the Memory Clinic to get diagnosed, under the guise of 'it's just another cardiology appointment', ignoring the fact she had already promised to kill herself if she ever got diagnosed. I was away and in favour of pre-conselling before the appointment (as was dictated in NICE) but was also ignored as 'Mental health (my Mum's as well as mine; I suffer from depression) was stupid'.
Mum dropped to five stone after this debacle. She was left alone, letting the CPN's fifteen minute a day visit (if lucky) be enough, and Mum burnt herself very badly.
I have been here ever since.
Mum, naturally, has had an aversion (to put it mildly) to care. She views it as being 'taken away'. I have reluctantly come to the conclusion I cannot look after her at home any more. I have found a good looking care home. They 'feel' right. They are willing to take her in next week.
Any advice on how I approach this with Mum?
The care home has suggested just dropping her off and leaving while they distract her. I can phone every day but should not visit for a couple of weeks.
How do I break it to Mum that I am taking her to a care home? Do I lie? Say it is a social group? Has anybody got any similar experience they could share?
Thank you.