Discharge meeting tomorrow

gene genie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2017
178
0
Well it's finally here,we are having a discharge meeting tomorrow,mum and I both want her to come home, however I'm not sure quite how practical it will be,given that mum cannot get out of a chair,or walk unaided.
Physio will be attending as will the hospital social worker (the one who thinks mums just a bit confused)along with the ward staff nurse whose been most involved with mums care,and of course myself.
I want to ask for a full support package of 4 visits a day some day care and extra respite ,as mum has deteriorated since the respite was agreed initially.
My concern is that the staff nurse and the physios say and in truth they are right that mum cannot be left alone at all as she believes she's fine and can walk without help or even with her frame,I think they may suggest a care home,but I truly believe mum is not mentally in need of a care home just yet, although I am concerned that it will be difficult especially at night but maybe there will be some other help I can access that I don't know about.
Not really looking for answers although they would be welcome but mostly I'm just trying to put my thoughts in order.
Wish me luck please
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Sorry @gene genie, I just noticed this now and you will have had the discharge meeting already. I hope it went well and your mum has the care plan you were hoping for.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
Is your mum in a position to self fund a night car
Well it's finally here,we are having a discharge meeting tomorrow,mum and I both want her to come home, however I'm not sure quite how practical it will be,given that mum cannot get out of a chair,or walk unaided.
Physio will be attending as will the hospital social worker (the one who thinks mums just a bit confused)along with the ward staff nurse whose been most involved with mums care,and of course myself.
I want to ask for a full support package of 4 visits a day some day care and extra respite ,as mum has deteriorated since the respite was agreed initially.
My concern is that the staff nurse and the physios say and in truth they are right that mum cannot be left alone at all as she believes she's fine and can walk without help or even with her frame,I think they may suggest a care home,but I truly believe mum is not mentally in need of a care home just yet, although I am concerned that it will be difficult especially at night but maybe there will be some other help I can access that I don't know about.
Not really looking for answers although they would be welcome but mostly I'm just trying to put my thoughts in order.
Wish me luck please
How did the meeting go today?
 

gene genie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2017
178
0
Meeting went really well I'm pleased to say, they have agreed to everything I asked for & extra,I'm to to have an extra 7 days respite per year,plus the day care 2 days a week.
Sad but not in a way, they finally agreed mum no longer has capacity,which is very sad for her,but on the other hand makes it a bit easier as I can now make the decisions and not have to constantly argue with the medical staff.
They were going down the care home route but are willing to let mum come home and see how it works out, but stressed that if I find it too difficult no one would blame me and would understand completely as in thier
opinion mum needs 24 hour care.
Thanks so very much for your concern all of you your support it means a lot.
So D Day is planned for 12 march provided care etc can be sorted in time.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
That is good news...it is always a relief when you go into a meeting expecting to have to argue your points and find that they are in complete agreement
 

gene genie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2017
178
0
I'm glad the outcome is as you would have wanted @gene genie.With your Mum's decreased mobility and cognitive function I am sure things will not be easy for you when she comes home on the 12th but I should imagine that you will not be able to rest until you have at least tried this route for your Mum. As medical staff have said to you, if things become overwhelming you will still have the option of residential care. I know from my own experience how necessary it is in order to have any peace of mind, that we feel we have done everything in our power. You surely are doing more than that and I wish you strength for the time ahead. So glad that you have at least been granted extra respite and the daycare option is fantastic. From my own experience, this gives at least 5 whole hours each time when you will be able to stay in if you wish and just rest and potter, without the need to have to go out. Hope everything goes well for you and your Mum.
Thanks ,yes I'm pleased with the outcome,I know it's going to be hard,but as you say I want to have tried at least.
 

Dmiller

New member
Mar 3, 2018
5
0
Hello . I’m really sorry to hijack your thread but we are in a similar position. My dad has been in hospital for four weeks and is hopefully going to a rehabilitation hospital soon . My mum is his career and til now has had no help . I’m assuming when he’s discharged there will be a meeting regarding carers etc . I’m so new to this could I ask how the care you mentioned is funded ? Thank you
 

gene genie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2017
178
0
Hello . I’m really sorry to hijack your thread but we are in a similar position. My dad has been in hospital for four weeks and is hopefully going to a rehabilitation hospital soon . My mum is his career and til now has had no help . I’m assuming when he’s discharged there will be a meeting regarding carers etc . I’m so new to this could I ask how the care you mentioned is funded ? Thank you
Yes I'm sure there will be a discharge meeting held before your father is discharged, but if your mim is the only help he has I would firstly advise calling social services asking for an as assessment of needs for both your dad and your mum as his carer.
When your dad is discharged aacare package will likely be available,this in my mum's case and I believe nationally is means tested so mum will be paying according to her income,I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be better to answer your questions,might be best to start a thread and ask as I'm not very well versed to answer sorry.
 

acorns

Registered User
Jan 25, 2018
103
0
That's great to hear, gene genie. I'm sure you are excited about finally getting your mum home again. I've been thinking about your first post in which you said you were concerned that you might not manage at night, helping your mum out of her seat and that the 4 visits a day might not be enough. I totally agree that this is not enough reason for a care home.

Some suggestions are the following:
  • have you checked if you can get attendance allowance? As far as I know it's not means tested and will give you a bit of extra money towards care.
  • carer's allowance? (not much but every little helps)
  • could you ask the OT if any riser recliners are available? Apparently they are very hard to get but for those who are chair bound all day it's worth asking. Mum's carers said these are hard backed but on wheels so no need for multiple transfers as the chair can be wheeled to the bed. (We don't have one but might consider buying riser recliner.)
  • mum is just out of hospital too and not back on her feet so we also need 2x4 care visits. As I already have a direct payments package and different carers I'm using that to pay for it. We only get this 2x4 team in once a day as my original carers come in at other times and I become the 2nd carer for the toileting and transfers most of the time.
  • I've moved mum into the dining room and put up a little bed beside her so she can't fall out. This makes nighttimes easier as she's less frightened and I don't have to get up as much. She can't get up now by herself now so doesn't try. The only problem is toilet issues during the night but she's well padded up and leakages can all be cleaned up in the morning - or at night if she's willing to work with me.
I think my mum's spirit was broken in hospital but now very slowly (weeks later) she is beginning to recognise her home, regain her smile and even get a bit cheeky! It's baby steps towards a goal of getting her back on her feet ... Therefore you may have a long road ahead but there are people to help and although it takes time things should gradually get better for your mum - what better reward is there than that?

Good luck on Monday!
 

gene genie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2017
178
0
That's great to hear, gene genie. I'm sure you are excited about finally getting your mum home again. I've been thinking about your first post in which you said you were concerned that you might not manage at night, helping your mum out of her seat and that the 4 visits a day might not be enough. I totally agree that this is not enough reason for a care home.

Some suggestions are the following:
  • have you checked if you can get attendance allowance? As far as I know it's not means tested and will give you a bit of extra money towards care.
  • carer's allowance? (not much but every little helps)
  • could you ask the OT if any riser recliners are available? Apparently they are very hard to get but for those who are chair bound all day it's worth asking. Mum's carers said these are hard backed but on wheels so no need for multiple transfers as the chair can be wheeled to the bed. (We don't have one but might consider buying riser recliner.)
  • mum is just out of hospital too and not back on her feet so we also need 2x4 care visits. As I already have a direct payments package and different carers I'm using that to pay for it. We only get this 2x4 team in once a day as my original carers come in at other times and I become the 2nd carer for the toileting and transfers most of the time.
  • I've moved mum into the dining room and put up a little bed beside her so she can't fall out. This makes nighttimes easier as she's less frightened and I don't have to get up as much. She can't get up now by herself now so doesn't try. The only problem is toilet issues during the night but she's well padded up and leakages can all be cleaned up in the morning - or at night if she's willing to work with me.
I think my mum's spirit was broken in hospital but now very slowly (weeks later) she is beginning to recognise her home, regain her smile and even get a bit cheeky! It's baby steps towards a goal of getting her back on her feet ... Therefore you may have a long road ahead but there are people to help and although it takes time things should gradually get better for your mum - what better reward is there than that?

Good luck on Monday!
Hi thanks for your concerns,can't get A.A. mum is already in receipt of D.L.A. so also no carers allowance,as if I claim carers allowance they reduce mums DLA by equal amount.
I've asked about a riser chair ..not a chance apparently of any chair from o/t or anyone else it seems, just not available in my area, so I've organised hiring a fireside high seat armchair £22 per week first ,12 weeks then £12 thereafter.
Care home is still a possibility as I have quite bad fibromyalgia so will have to see how we can manage,it's her mental state that has declined as well as her mobility,the altzheimers has progressed so much especially in the last month .
Regarding bed transfers we have a commode which I'm going to put right next to the bed and hopefully I can sort of slide her across?we will see how it transpires.
Mums mobility is very unlikely to improve according to the physios/o.t. mainly because she is unable to retain the instructions they are giving her.
Ian hoping against hope I can keep her at home for at least the summer,but it really is very uncertain.
One good thing is the new hospital s.w. is fabulous and so understanding,think I love him lol,he's been beyond brilliant, just shows what a difference it makes to have a professional who actually listens and helps.
Glad to hear things are improving with your mum ,and thanks once again for your post I really appreciate it.
 

Jo Sutton

Registered User
Jul 8, 2016
215
0
Surrey
Hi @gene genie

As a fellow fibro sufferer, I understand the difficulties you are facing. We were lucky enough to be given a riser / recliner as part of Mum's discharge package, and they are a godsend!

Mum was finding it difficult to get up ... out of bed, out of the chair, out of the commode, and I often couldn't help her because of the fibro. With a hospital bed that has adjustable height, and a riser / recliner armchair next to it, it's only the commode that poses a problem, which makes my life so much easier.

I got the chair by getting a senior nurse on my side ... one who was aware of recent failed discharges and wanted to make sure that Mum didn't come back to hospital any time soon.

Tbh, the chair and the bed together have made the difference between me being able to cope with Mum when the carers aren't there, and not. Is there any way you can convince a provider of this in your case? If not, I know they are very expensive to buy, and don't know if they can be hired, but if you can get hold of one in any way, I would seriously recommend it.

I hope things go well having your Mum back home.

Hugs

Jo xx