Wandering

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,616
0
USA
Okay, when you make the super suits and capes for the bunnies, be sure to put GPS trackers in their outfits, as well as the body cams, so you can get as much information as possible.

Marion, the multiple bus situation sounds horrifying.

How are things, @Bunpoots?
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
973
0
Not a solution to wandering, but if you haven't completed Herbert Protocol forms, I would recommend - useful if ever PWD did wander, and hopefully never needed but I completd for my parents (did not need to use thankfully) and it gave great peace of mind. Gx
 

Ruskin

Registered User
Feb 14, 2018
30
0
I thought we were doing ok managing dad at home. But a phone call from the police at 3am has sent me into a panic. Dad was found "out for a walk " when one of his neighbours called the police because someone was knocking on their door. He'd only walked a few doors down and then decided he'd had a long enough walk and wanted to go home. He couldn't find the way back..

Anyway, short version is he flagged down the plain clothes police car looking for the prowler (could have been anyone!) and he found his named flagged up on their system - dad could tell his name but not address.
Policeman said he'd wandered before on 5th October but as I hadn't been informed I'm wondering if this is to do with the rooftop conman rather than wandering? I'll have to check thru my old posts.

Policeman said don't lock him in incase there's a fire (obviously!!) but get a device that is triggered by the door being opened and speaks with a recorded familiar voice telling him not to leave. Has anyone had success with these? Are their any other devices which would alert me and someone else (incase I can't be reached) so we can go and retrieve him? He doesn't move fast and I live only 5 minutes away.

Another option is to lock the front door and the back gate, there are two other doors into the back garden but he couldn't get out onto the street. Thoughts anyone?

Also wondering if a clock like @Beate has is worth considering. If it said its morning in the early hours when most people are asleep it wouldn't be much good.
 

myss

Registered User
Jan 14, 2018
449
0
He has 3 exits 2 lead into the back garden and he uses the back doors more than the front when I'm not there. Generally he doesn't like the front door because the step is quite steep for him. It does worry me that I'm locking one potential exit but the key can't be left in the front door as no-one could get in if it was. Normally he can't find it!!

He doesn't smoke and the only place for a fire to stop him getting out thru the back would be in the hall if he was in bed. I think if that happened he wouldn't wake up in time. Keys are left in the back doors so that's his best bet anyway. There's nothing electrical in the hall apart from the light.
Hi Bunpoots. I can certainly empathise with you on this subject. My dad's also a wanderer. It started when my mum fell ill 2-3 years ago and, like you, we were alerted by the police calling at what-o-clock in the morning when my dad stopped a late-night supermarket worker to say he wasn't feeling well. He must have walked for at least a mile and a half in the dark on his own. Since then the wandering tends to be more localised and usually by the time he's outside, the cold wakes him and he realises that he's home and should be inside. Unfortunately by that time, he's left his keys inside and can't get back in, so neighbours and others have called us to get him. Poor thing is usually in tears when we get there.

I agree with the consensus on the clock showing day/night and voice activated alarms being unlikely to work, I know with my dad the compulsion to go out is stronger. We've also tried the GPS tracker which worked fantastic for a few months and it had been the only way to locate him on one occasion - until my dad decided not to take the keys or wallet, or his favourite shoes/jacket/etc like he always used to do that had the tracker on/in it.

The wandering is a regular thing now, at least once or twice a month, and I thought the time to have a live-in carer during the night or to go into sheltered housing/care home was nigh, but it's so expensive and at the same time the idea to lock his door also came up - by him and others in my family.
I don't like this idea but surprisingly my dad understands and is calmed by this as he finds it scary to 'find himself' outside in the dark and cold. Admittedly there are two other exits and it is a porch door that is locked not the front door so in the event of fire he can go into the porch, and so far it has stopped him at least once from wandering.
I still don't like the idea but it seems the risk of fire is much less than the risk of him getting robbed/hurt/lost in the dark.
 

Ruskin

Registered User
Feb 14, 2018
30
0
Caring for someone with dementia is demanding enough, but the whole concept of wandering, is frightening, for all concerned.
 

Night-owl

Registered User
Feb 10, 2011
22
0
S. Lincs
Hi Bunpoots,
So sorry you are having to cope with this. My mum had begun locking herself out of her sheltered housing complex and had forgotten how to use her 'key fob' which opened the doors. I have health and mobility problems and don't drive so we were afraid she would wander a distance away where I couldn't rescue her if my husband wasn't in. We had talked with her about a care home when a GP said she was no longer safe living on her own, and she responded very warmly to the idea. When she locked herself out shortly after on a cold November evening we decided the time had come to put that plan into action. She was then 99! She was happy in the home and her 100th celebrations were wonderful. We never regretted the move.
I think the door alarm and GPS are worth a try at first-get Social services to supply if poss., and get as many documents as possible to back up applications for funding CH if appropriate too. Don't dismiss CH as cruelty; it wasn't in our case, and it kept Mum safe and us in good health.
Best wishes, Nightowl.
 

Ruskin

Registered User
Feb 14, 2018
30
0
My 40 year old son's favourite pastime was sneaking out on a mission late at night whilst I was sleeping, until measures were put in place to keep him safely indoors. There were also a couple of incidences of him disappearing during the day, which needed to be addressed.

We have always had a great dad/son relationship, but the dynamics changed drastically, from the day I was informed by his medical consultant, that his long term illness had left him with fairly advanced dementia like symptoms. As his carer now, it was down to me to adapt, but however hard I tried explaining to him, with limited mental capacity, he could not comprehend why he could not go out alone. I did not pursue the matter further, to avoid him any stress.

During the day, a GPS tracker is essential, but most on the market charge a monthly fee, on top of the purchasing cost for the tracking device. After a lot of research, I went for the Yepzon Tracker, which links directly to your mobile phone. The beauty of the Yepzon Tracker is, you can nominate as many mobile phones as you want to the one device, so if they do wander, whoever is closest can go to them. You can top up the data via your mobile at a very reasonable cost. I am not connected with the company in any way. I purchased two, to have one always charged up and ready to use.

On the front and back doors, I have fitted to the top and bottom of the door, small turn bolts, which can be opened from the other side with a coin in an emergency. I have also had a glazed door put into the hallway, about 2 meters from the front door, to form a small lobby, and again with turn bolts. Turning the bolts confuses him. Not only does this form another barrier to the outside world, but the dark flooring I have laid, is a big black hole in the ground, during the evening, as far as my son is concerned, and to be left well alone.

As an added precaution, I fitted a combination lock to my office, where all his meds are stored.

With night lights all around the house, he is free to wander and explore to his hearts content, plus I get a good nights sleep, with no more 3am telephone calls.

Hope this information offers you some peace of mind.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Thanks for your ideas guys. I have now put the key to the front door in a safe place where dad is unlikely to look for it. I've left the door from hall to porch unlocked ( might get a black doormat as a further deterrent ).

I also make sure his shoes are put away in the cloakroom as they seem to be a prompt for him thinking he has to go somewhere. He can get into the back garden but the gates are locked. He can't lock himself out of the house through the back and the garden is small and square so he won't get lost in it! We are looking into door alarms, but would need 3!

I'm still amazed he chose to wander. He only went about 200 yards before he turned round and realised he was lost. He normally sits on the sofa all day and I cannot get him to go for a walk! It must be so much harder for those who have a fit wanderer..

I've lost my dad and don't know this stranger who inhabits his body.
 

annaw

Registered User
Oct 22, 2012
2
0
Hi all,
When my Mum could still walk and began wandering she said she was going home to see her Dad. She didn’t feel she was in her own home. She used to navigate by the church spires thinking she was going the right way. She had no idea she was in the wrong country and her father had passed many years ago. When picking her up from the police she said she was not frightened as she knew where she was going.
We had some success with a GPS tracker. Today I would use an iPhone and find my friends function. Back then the worry was the battery running out as it had a limited life. She wandered from central London to the outskirts and I was terrified that if she had got into the country she may not have survived the cold.(or been found).
I will admit to having kept the door locked - social services were aware and saw it as the safer of the options. We tried to go out with her when we could and it was hard to keep up - she was so fit in her body. When daycare dropped her off one evening before I got home she thought she’d been left in the wrong house and went straight back out trying to chase the van and that time my daughter was there, thankfully, and ran after her barefoot as my mother was distraught at having been abandoned.
It’s a really tough call as we want to give our loved ones autonomy but need to keep their safety in our hands as they don’t seem to have the ability - or at least my mother did not have at this time in her life - to keep themselves safe.
I would suggest relying on the teamwork of GP , social services and family to reassure you you’re doing the best that can be done.
Incidentally, we had to stop using daycare about this time also as Mum wouldn’t eat or drink anything whilst there , spending the whole day by the door trying to get out, and developed a urine infection due to dehydration. From that point of view she was better at home.

Best wishes to you all - you’re doing a great job!
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @annaw
thanks for popping in with your thoughts - always helps to share experiences
sounds as though your mum was quite a handful at that time, and fortunate to have you and family looking out for her so well
 

#lovemymother

New member
Feb 11, 2018
5
0
I have found this thread very informative as my mother is also a wanderer when not in the right frame of mind. My brother leaves for work at 245am from tomorrow and I can't be there until a later time. So I've been frantically searching and worrying for a solution. I am.thinking that to lock the front door and front gate without mum having keys. But leaving the keys to the back door and French doors in the locks so she has access to her back garden.in worse case if there was a fire her garden provides enough space to stay clear.and I'm sure she'd react to any incident. Leaving my phone number next to the other doors and phone to encourage her to ring me if she gets up before I get there. I don't think any alarm, any clock or voice would deter her from walking out. She too is registered with the police
 

Obis mum

New member
Feb 2, 2018
8
0
I thought we were doing ok managing dad at home. But a phone call from the police at 3am has sent me into a panic. Dad was found "out for a walk " when one of his neighbours called the police because someone was knocking on their door. He'd only walked a few doors down and then decided he'd had a long enough walk and wanted to go home. He couldn't find the way back..

Anyway, short version is he flagged down the plain clothes police car looking for the prowler (could have been anyone!) and he found his named flagged up on their system - dad could tell his name but not address.
Policeman said he'd wandered before on 5th October but as I hadn't been informed I'm wondering if this is to do with the rooftop conman rather than wandering? I'll have to check thru my old posts.

Policeman said don't lock him in incase there's a fire (obviously!!) but get a device that is triggered by the door being opened and speaks with a recorded familiar voice telling him not to leave. Has anyone had success with these? Are their any other devices which would alert me and someone else (incase I can't be reached) so we can go and retrieve him? He doesn't move fast and I live only 5 minutes away.

Another option is to lock the front door and the back gate, there are two other doors into the back garden but he couldn't get out onto the street. Thoughts anyone?

Also wondering if a clock like @Beate has is worth considering. If it said its morning in the early hours when most people are asleep it wouldn't be much good.
Its really hard so far mum has only wandered to fimilar places close to home, however I made some cards with all contacts on and I put them in EVERY purse/bag/pocket/ I have to check often as she tidys them up makes a pile of them and puts them "away". I have given our phone numbers to the places she wanders to , they have been very kind over it
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Its really hard so far mum has only wandered to fimilar places close to home, however I made some cards with all contacts on and I put them in EVERY purse/bag/pocket/ I have to check often as she tidys them up makes a pile of them and puts them "away". I have given our phone numbers to the places she wanders to , they have been very kind over it

The cards is a good idea. I'm also thinking that his name and my phone number in iron on labels in his coats might be extra insurance. I never imagined I'd have to worry about saving my dad from dangerous unconsidered behaviour. I thought that was what kids were for!!
 

Bluelilly

New member
Feb 16, 2018
7
0
John had a device once, placed close to the front door at an angle. If he came close it would start a recorded message in my voice telling him to stay inside as I would be home shortly. He simply ignored it and waltzed past it.

The dementia clock was a present from his kids so we didn't have to pay for it. They look lovely, but they are expensive and frankly, he took no notice of it either. He would sit in full view of it and ask me what day it was!
My Mum ignores us when we are next to her saying don't go out the door so I agree a device like this is unlikely to work.
 

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
675
0
New South Wales Australia
:cool:Thanks @Terz
I will re read and see what I can arrange in the management of my OH wandering. My husband goes out in his folding bike - so a good distance can be achieved. But I am here most of the time - at night I talk him out if going -
The best management tool I have at present is to beat him to the punch- and go out with him for a ride or walk - when I do this in the morning I can be pretty confident he will stay put.
It’s not easy - but I would like to be able to track him on my iPhone ! I should see what gps gadgets I can buy.
I bought a small device from USA called trackR - but pretty useless - good for funding lost keys ;)
M-joy
 

angelaraphael

Registered User
May 29, 2017
19
0
I have experienced wandering with my mother - I share a flat with her in sheltered accomodation . We've only just moved in and I fell asleep on the sofa and was woken by an elderly neighbour who had retrieved her from the carpark . There were a lot of locks on the door installed by previous tenants and she can manage a snib so I have a deadlock and I lock this as soon as we get in - I know we would be slower in a fire but there is nothing else I can do. She says she would like to go home now and then - to speak to her mother and father - they were great my grandparents - long dead now. We are getting a new front door installed. I find I can distract her when she is restless by giving her a biscuit if she sits down.
 

Chrismitch

Registered User
Jun 23, 2011
127
0
It sounds to me that he’s past understanding the clock. The council run a panic alarm system. Do they include sensors for the front door? Sensors certainly exist and a signal would be sent to you. That’s the best option. Contact a social worker or AgeUk
 

Country lady

Registered User
Dec 5, 2017
18
0
Hi Bunpoots,

It isn't easy trying to find ways to allow them to stay at home safely is it? Both my parents have Alzheimers but it affects them differently. My Dad has always got "cabin fever" if he's indoors too long and has a tendency to wander. He did go out one evening (we don't know when as Mum couldn't remember) and was finally found by the police at 3am. We have found a few different things that are helping us manage this.

- he has a personal GPS tracker that we put in his trouser pocket with a clean hanky every morning. It has become part of his routine - like the clean hanky - so we're lucky this works for us. I set up a zone around the house on the map and if he leaves that zone we get an alert and can see on the map where he is.
- my brother fitted motion sensors and door sensors so we can tell if he goes out a door even if he hasn't got the tracker in his pocket (no cameras)
- we have Carecall since the wander until 3am incident and the front door is alarmed and connected
- we have a keysafe fitted near the back door and Carecall have the code for it - this reassures me a little bit as I hate them being locked in at night.
- we lock the front door, and through the day the back door is unlocked but there's an alarm connected to Carecall on the gate.

Cumulatively this helps manage his wandering. With the tracker especially, if he goes out we can keep an eye and sometimes let him walk (if its dry and through the day) as he can be angry if picked up too soon. He is good at putting his coat on to go out the front door.

We're all different and dementia affects people very differently so none of this might work for you but some of it just might.

Oh and lost keys - how many? far too many. some turn up months later others never.

And that turn of speed they can get when otherwise they are slow on 2 walking sticks? Remarkable what determination and anger can achieve even through dementia.
 

Brunhilda55

New member
May 14, 2018
2
0
He was suitably dressed although I suspect from what he was wearing that he had started getting ready for bed then had a "brain trump" as we call them, and became confused as to what he was getting ready for. It was raining but he was hardly wet when the police picked him up. He even had his hat on. I realise it could have been much worse.

For now we've put his shoes in the cloakroom so they don't act as a prompt for him to leave the house.

Brother thinks a mobile phone can be rigged to send a text to pre-entered numbers if the door is opened so I can rescue him from the garden if he gets the urge to wander at this time of year.

We'll need to fence off the fish pond, possibly chicken wire so he can see the fish (favourite summer pastime) but not fall in!!

Tomorrow the front door lock is being changed, it's thumb turn at the moment. Hope he doesn't decide to go for a walk tonight!

I'm making super-bunnies capes next!! They can take it in turns...
 

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