My husband is in later stages of dementia. I am finding it hard as there is only me looking after him. I have just realised in the last 2 weeks that he is understanding very little of what is said to him. His memory is totally gone. He can still wash and dress himself (not always very well), make a cup of tea and a sandwich. But he used to be able to cover up his lack of understanding and now he can't. Just realising how incredibly lonely l now am.
Struggling
- Thread starter BethRebecca
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Hullo BethRebecca. I know that feeling, it's hard to handle the nights sitting watching TV while she sleeps knowing conversation is not going to go very far. Can you manage to get out to a carers group. I know it's not the same as having your husband as he was, but it's good to connect with others in the same boat and you can come on here any time.
(((((hugs))))))) @BethRebecca
It can be very lonely and isolating caring for someone with dementia. Are you able to leave him for short periods or does he need someone with him all the time? Can you find some coffee mornings/singing for the brain/Alzheimers Society meeting or similar that you could both attend and which will allow you you meet other people? Could you contact Social Services for a needs assessment and ask for day care (maybe once a week to start with) or contact someone like Age UK who could provide a befriending service so that you could get out for a while and meet other people?
Your needs are important too. Without you he would be lost, so you need to look after yourself.
It can be very lonely and isolating caring for someone with dementia. Are you able to leave him for short periods or does he need someone with him all the time? Can you find some coffee mornings/singing for the brain/Alzheimers Society meeting or similar that you could both attend and which will allow you you meet other people? Could you contact Social Services for a needs assessment and ask for day care (maybe once a week to start with) or contact someone like Age UK who could provide a befriending service so that you could get out for a while and meet other people?
Your needs are important too. Without you he would be lost, so you need to look after yourself.
Thank you. We have moved recently to Wales. Still getting to grips with Social Services. Michael is not a joiner and have tried in the past to get him to groups but just doesn't work. Waiting for Carer Assessment which would mean l could go out whilst someone sits with him but waited now for 3 months. He used to have day care when we lived in Somerset but here it is £70 charge whether it is 1 day or 5. Because he doesn't speak much l found he was losing his language. I am going to try to get him to a craft day organised by a mental health charity.
Yes that's it. I turn to say something and he's asleep. Carers groups here are quite a way apart, some of them an hour or so's drive. There are some lovely people locally who understand which is helpful.
Hi, I also live in Wales, I guess it depends on whereabouts you are but in Cardiff there's a lot of support available. The £70 charge is the maximum per week you can be asked to pay towards non-residential care and/or day care, so once you hit this you won't need to pay more, other than if you pay a top-up to use a specific agency. This also only applies if you have over £24k in savings (not including your home) as well. So it's worth you trying to get as much day care or non-residential care in place for your husband as you can. Alzheimer's Society Cymru can also advise in terms of what services are available in your area - they will probably run some activities including carer's support groups, Singing for the Brain, dementia cafe etc.
Thank you. Yes l know it's the maximum per week but it seems to do him no good to be there more than l day a week. He is very quiet and because he just sits in a corner reading they seem to think he is the model patient. He went to a care home 3 days a week in Somerset and was losing his language. He never spoke to anyone so l only wanted him to go for l day a week but it's too expensive. There is an organisation near here where he can go and l can go with him initially to get him used to it. It's craft based and he used to paint etc so will try that. We've done singing for the brain and he hates it. Plus other groups he just hates them and l don't want to make him miserable.
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