Two years to get this bad. What now?
- Thread starter AL60
- Start date
Hi.. Not once did I think it was a bad idea, not once but a thousand times ☺ all's good for now Al.
I’d forgotten about your wet room! So much going on here...and there you were...all nice and clean. I am glad it is all over, and that it is successful.
OTE="AL60, post: 1351433, member: 61921"]Hi again. Certainly wasn't intending to post again so soon. But as it's the wrong side of midnight and once again find sleep isn't coming easy tonight, this seemed a good idea. It's looking to me as though we really are all in this together. So many similarities everywhere on this site. It could be seen as depressing, or, it could be seen as a wealth of useful information. I have a question, and I know someone, somewhere out there will have a number of ideas and suggestions for me. Mealtimes are becoming a nightmare. Just lately the food smells funny, it's too hot ,it's not hot enough, is this the one we normally have, it just doesn't taste right, the plates, cups etc smell perfumed. To me it seems just an excuse not to eat. And believe me it's any excuse not to eat. But any amount of junk goes down a treat. I know the obvious answers, don't buy the crisps, chocolate, cake and biscuits. You try stopping her. It's like having a very grown up child. If food isn't hot enough, heat it, no, can't have that. If it's too hot , let it stand, good grief no, can't have it its too hot. You just can't reason with her. And that's only meal times. This isn't working, I'm even more awake now. The reason I'm concerned about her lack of normal appetite is over the last couple of years she's lost about forty lbs give or take. It's important too that she has a nutritional diet now more so than ever. But try telling her that. I know that there are lots of things I could try but one of the problems is that she doesn't like change. Just keeping to the tried and tested isn't working. If she had the choice she'd have beans on toast every meal. I've wondered if the dementia has altered her sense of taste. Anyway, best go now. Croissants for breakfast, can't go wrong there, can I? Al[/QUOTE]
Hi AL 60.
Sounds familiar!
I swear my hubby thinks food is poisonous.
He can still play euchre, but he refuses any food except ice cream or milk shakes.
He lives with his 96 yr old mother and acts as her carer. I live 2 doors up the street. He definitely has dementia and I have no idea what he is doing when he's
down taking care of her.
He has gotten into big financial mess with a scam. Our money for retirement is gone. And yet, he continues providing care for her.
I figure this will not last. Dementia will win out and his mother won't take care of him!
I am a registered nurse. I will try my best.
He is 75, I am 74. This is a crazy life
Hi AL 60.
Sounds familiar!
I swear my hubby thinks food is poisonous.
He can still play euchre, but he refuses any food except ice cream or milk shakes.
He lives with his 96 yr old mother and acts as her carer. I live 2 doors up the street. He definitely has dementia and I have no idea what he is doing when he's
down taking care of her.
He has gotten into big financial mess with a scam. Our money for retirement is gone. And yet, he continues providing care for her.
I figure this will not last. Dementia will win out and his mother won't take care of him!
I am a registered nurse. I will try my best.
He is 75, I am 74. This is a crazy life[/QUOTE]
Hi. We seem to be over the worst now with the food poisoning issues. I remember that phase well. Ok, it might be a regular diet of cheese and potatoes and cheese and toast but it is a kind of diet and she is gaining weight. Though the latest thing involves scraping the cheese off and leaving the toast. As for everything else, crazy barely covers it. Obviously our situations are different but the bottom line is the same. iI sometimes wonder how I'm going to cope with the next thing, then when it happens you just seem to get by and manage. Oh well, i can heat her up and about now, so begins another long day. You never know what your day is going to throw at you, all you do know is that its not going to be any fun. Goodness knows what she's up to now, I'm going to have to go and find out. I used to be such a morning person, that's something else that's changed Al.
Hi. Where to start. I'm trying to do this in the quiet spell between rants. They're getting worse. Louder, longer and more abusive. Even having people around doesn't hold her back. I'm sure she's only quiet now to get her breath back. From yesterday we've stopped the evening carer call as it seemed to be causing stress. We're only on day two and her evening stress levels seem worse than ever, mine too. We've got a busy day tomorrow, starting with the dentist first thing . Not me this time. Her expensive crown that was fitted early last year is now in an envelope in the kitchen. I jokingly told her I might put it under my pillow to try to get some cashback. That was a mistake . I'll not go into detail but suffice to say it was enough to trigger a rant. Hopefully she'll get tired soon. She's finished her evening meal but it seems she's forgotten and wants me to make another. Oh what to do. Think I'll noisily fill her hot water bottle, and drop some hints ☺ it might work or it might not, you've got to try. Al.
Maybe the stress of tomorrow is causing extra ranting? Ok, an excuse doesn’t make it better but it might help you get to 10 when you are counting for the umpteenth time
.
I’ve been trying to watch a programme since 8 pm but haven’t managed to see or hear any of it What with mum wandering in because she doesn’t know what to watch on her telly, can’t get the channel, now decided to go to bed so I’ve had to sort tablets, inco pad etc. OH isn’t helping, he keeps trying to show me funny things on his iPad, talking to me, stoking the fire, just annoying me, and then there’s the dog..
. I’ve been trying to watch a programme since 8 pm but haven’t managed to see or hear any of it What with mum wandering in because she doesn’t know what to watch on her telly, can’t get the channel, now decided to go to bed so I’ve had to sort tablets, inco pad etc. OH isn’t helping, he keeps trying to show me funny things on his iPad, talking to me, stoking the fire, just annoying me, and then there’s the dog..
Hi. Even when you get some time to yourself, it's spent recovering, then before you know it it's bedtime then you go to bed shattered and too tired to sleep so I sometimes post on here then next thing I know it's one thirty then five hours later it's time to get up and it starts all over again. But don't worry, it gets better, i was just going to say it can't get much worse but that would be a stupid thing to say. Because it can get a lot worse. If only she could see that I am only trying to do my best. But that's not going to happen is it. Today has been a particularly stressful day. A year ago when she was getting her tooth sorted it was a big deal, she couldn't wait to get it done . But now , she isn't really bothered, I'm more concerned than she is. So I don't think it's really that that's bothering her. So, i think that tonight I'll break with tradition and have an early night. so, for now, goodnight Al.
Hi. Thanks , it's something of a consolation to know we're all in this together, Al.
Hi:
I know you are a decent man and you are concerned about your wife, but it's time to think about yourself also. You shouldn't have to put up with all this abuse, nobody should. Have you considered calling her doctor and explaining the situation, there might be an easy fix but the doctor can't fix it if he/she doesn't know about what's going on. All this constant arguing beats down on a person' well being.
Hi. Today has been the best day I've had for some time. There have been many distractions which I suspect have kept my wife occupied. Perhaps every day should be like today, barely a minute to ourselves but then, maybe not, I couldn't keep up. Tomorrow, another dentist appointment, not for me, but for my wife. That should fill an afternoon. Then that's it, nothing else on tomorrow's calendar, i just hope she doesn't decide to give me double grief tomorrow to make up for today. I'm sure she won't. Got to think positive. Well that's it, done for another day, so, goodnight , Al.
Hi Al.
Thanks for your advice. OH also has vascular changes. I was seriously considering leaving work a few days ago but have decided to continue and monitor the situation while I consider some long term plans. There is 17 years difference between us, and I'm a long way from retirement.
However your situation sounds exhausting at the moment. I agree with everyone else; it seems you really need to care for yourself. Is there a way you can get some respite care for a couple of days for your wife while you have a bit of healing and rest? I can imagine how hard it would be to be away from her, but it would only be for a short period. However I realise I don't know your situation so this suggestion may not be appropriate.
Hope things go well at the dentist
Thanks for your advice. OH also has vascular changes. I was seriously considering leaving work a few days ago but have decided to continue and monitor the situation while I consider some long term plans. There is 17 years difference between us, and I'm a long way from retirement.
However your situation sounds exhausting at the moment. I agree with everyone else; it seems you really need to care for yourself. Is there a way you can get some respite care for a couple of days for your wife while you have a bit of healing and rest? I can imagine how hard it would be to be away from her, but it would only be for a short period. However I realise I don't know your situation so this suggestion may not be appropriate.
Hope things go well at the dentist
Once again, hi. A couple of days ago I found my missing pair of spare reading glasses, I've been carefully managing with one pair for ages. It was good to have two pairs for a while. Now I've mislaid both. Don't worry, they'll turn up, just excuse any typos. ☺ speaking of seeing things clearly,, when things are looking good for a day or so, there's a tendency to relax and a kind of normality comes in . It doesn't take long. You have a good day, you go to bed, you wake up next day actually feeling better . You actually feel like getting out of bed. Then you realise normal service has been resumed . So I'm going to stay under the duvet for a bit longer and finish this post. I put the blind down last night so now the room is that much darker. That gives me even more reason to stay put. All quiet at the moment downstairs, all I can heat is the wind against the glass, guess that's another reason for staying under the covers. On a plus, what small amount of snow we did have has all but disappeared overnight. We rarely see much snow in our little corner of the world, it's like a little Shangri la, but with factories ☺ Right , got to make the effort now and get downstairs. You never quite know what to expect, it could be a good day, I'll let you know what happens.
Dentist visit went reasonably well, a temporary repair to be followed by another expensive crown. Right, I'm really getting going now. Having just remembered today is Friday and I've got another two hours planned for this afternoon, so it's not all bad is it!!Al. I might even find those glasses .
Dentist visit went reasonably well, a temporary repair to be followed by another expensive crown. Right, I'm really getting going now. Having just remembered today is Friday and I've got another two hours planned for this afternoon, so it's not all bad is it!!Al. I might even find those glasses .
@AL60 I know exactly how you feel about the tendency to relax after good days. After two days of keeping control of OHs wine intake by Machiavellian methods, not entirely with cooperation, I feel quite exhausted mentally myself. I usually sleep well but last night I had a wakeful period and I just thought to myself, I cannot go on evening in evening out being vigilant. This morning he was up, bright and rational, so feel my efforts were worth it and can renew my resolve.
Hi. I too usually sleep all night , but find I'm very often tired during the day, i sometimes wonder if it's really quality sleep or the kind of sleep I used to get when still at work , especially between nights. But, up to now today has been quiet. The carer has arrived on time , that's improved too since our meeting with the carer company. It would increase both our stress levels if they were late. So for now it's a trip to the shops, home for lunch , cheese off toast again, then I've got a two-hour break. Now, where's the sledge,,, hang on, where's the snow? I have an alternative plan for the afternoon. Good job really, Al.
Hope you enjoy your two hours of freedom.
We are snowed in.
But Sunday will be great. I will be going to Milan ON MY OWN to vote (general elections).Besides doing my duty as a citizen, I will have lunch with a friend.
And then, back to house arrest
