Hi how are you going ? I have not written you for a while hope you are managing to move on a little more now it's great when you do I am finding that out now. After doing the meditation program to stop the panic attacks I find I have moved on from them and starting to live my life and it's great I am never in now I just love everything about life.
I am not saying I have forgotten my OH but I cannot go back I need to go forward and I am sure you feel the same way enjoy your life think of your mum when you are in the garden and leave it there go inside and be you. Best wishes.
Hi there. I think we've both been busy in other places. But it is good to hear from you.I'm sitting at my desk, drinking a nice warm cup-a-soup and a sarnie, just like mum and I used to do. I can see floaty bits outside so I think the snow is on the way again so no gardening for me.
I've been scanning in some family papers belonging to my uncle Jack. Paying my respects in Bath and managed to get a bunch of flowers all the way down there. It was a 14 hour day for me and I have never been so alive or happy in my life. Meeting several nice people on the way, sharing stories with one bloke who walked part of the way to the crem with me. A couple of youne=ge lads and the train stop keeping me company with stories of their adventures.
That to me is what life really is. Doing what you feel passionate about, making friends with strangers for that one time and learning what things mean. For me, the long long day with all of its delays was truly inspirational. Do you have moments like that? Nothing like that will happen to me for a long while. But I've taken to solitary Sunday walking with my camera. I bought myself a pair of those outdoor trousers so I don't mind in the least if I get wet or even very wet.
You sound like you've been doing lots of deep thought, me too. All my mum wanted at the end of her life was her house and garden and as she put it "be trouble to no one". That is my lifelong purpose too. Do you think that's OK ?. I've also got a vision and 6 goals to get me there. Friday was my 56th Birthday and I spent Saturday with someone I consider to be a good friend. I cannot think of a better time to start afresh. I've been reading a booklet called bouncing back, it's about resilience really and has 10 suggestions including things like not getting angry over trivial matters, always learning and find your purpose. I like it.
I also found a leaflet with an interview with a Dr. Alan Wolfelt, who apparently knows a lot about grief. He has some good advice and ya know it's not very often I enjoy advice but this all feels good to me like it actually resonates.
I have also learned some valuable lessons from my mum since she died, like being patient, thoughtful.
Thanks so much for getting back in touch this way, I'll be around for quite a while because this is a really nice place so don't be a stranger.