Hi just popping in as @Amy in the US commented on my mum being in sheltered extra care. Apologies, I have skim read the thread, but hopefully my reply is of use.
She was 200 mile away and couldn't cope in her own home anymore so I had to move her near me (her house wasn't suitable for carers to go into).
I did briefly think about trying to find something in her home town with a plan I or my brother visited every month, but couldn't find anything suitable. Very glad I didn't as the distance would have been too great to manage.
I looked at sheltered and realised mum was unlikely to cope so then looked at sheltered extra care (assisted living). Availability of this varies across the country though so might not be an option in Cornwall.
It is perfect fit for mum, on site carers so I can increase care as needed and they are familiar faces with a restaurant for lunch. If you can't find sheltered extra care, sheltered and arranging for a care agency would be the next best thing. My mum was struggling with her meds, so that is what the carers started doing, they added a weekly clean, and washing of bedding, including the inevitable battle with a PWD to remove dirty clothing, and now also go in in the evening to heat a microwave meal. 4 years later she is still sorting our her breakfast, making cups of tea, and enjoying being in her own flat.
This is the website I used to find the available sheltered extracare places.
http://www.housingcare.org/elderly-uk-assisted-living-extra-care-housing.aspx
There are only 2 in the whole of Cornwall whereas there are 4 in my town. I note there are 41 in Devon, not sure how far you would be from Devon but this might be better option, as with sheltered extra care there is an onsite care manager who will let you know if there are problems. My mum is placid at the moment, they made clear that they wouldn't tolerate aggression or wandering.
I work and have 2 school age children who race/compete up and down the country (different sports), I couldn't and still can't find time to give my mum a lot of support without harming my children and sheltered extra care means my mum is happy, but I don't have to put a lot of time in (I buy her food once a week - but the carers would do this as well if needed).
The one my mum is in is a housing association run one, she has a shared ownership flat, rental flats were only available on a means tested criteria, which she wouldn't have met.
Dementia will take all you throw at is, as Amy says it is insatiable, your mum has a progressive illness, the sooner you move her the better. Please don't abandon your dreams, your mum could be around for another 10 or more years at the stage you say she is at and life will have passed you by by then.
She was 200 mile away and couldn't cope in her own home anymore so I had to move her near me (her house wasn't suitable for carers to go into).
I did briefly think about trying to find something in her home town with a plan I or my brother visited every month, but couldn't find anything suitable. Very glad I didn't as the distance would have been too great to manage.
I looked at sheltered and realised mum was unlikely to cope so then looked at sheltered extra care (assisted living). Availability of this varies across the country though so might not be an option in Cornwall.
It is perfect fit for mum, on site carers so I can increase care as needed and they are familiar faces with a restaurant for lunch. If you can't find sheltered extra care, sheltered and arranging for a care agency would be the next best thing. My mum was struggling with her meds, so that is what the carers started doing, they added a weekly clean, and washing of bedding, including the inevitable battle with a PWD to remove dirty clothing, and now also go in in the evening to heat a microwave meal. 4 years later she is still sorting our her breakfast, making cups of tea, and enjoying being in her own flat.
This is the website I used to find the available sheltered extracare places.
http://www.housingcare.org/elderly-uk-assisted-living-extra-care-housing.aspx
There are only 2 in the whole of Cornwall whereas there are 4 in my town. I note there are 41 in Devon, not sure how far you would be from Devon but this might be better option, as with sheltered extra care there is an onsite care manager who will let you know if there are problems. My mum is placid at the moment, they made clear that they wouldn't tolerate aggression or wandering.
I work and have 2 school age children who race/compete up and down the country (different sports), I couldn't and still can't find time to give my mum a lot of support without harming my children and sheltered extra care means my mum is happy, but I don't have to put a lot of time in (I buy her food once a week - but the carers would do this as well if needed).
The one my mum is in is a housing association run one, she has a shared ownership flat, rental flats were only available on a means tested criteria, which she wouldn't have met.
Dementia will take all you throw at is, as Amy says it is insatiable, your mum has a progressive illness, the sooner you move her the better. Please don't abandon your dreams, your mum could be around for another 10 or more years at the stage you say she is at and life will have passed you by by then.
