My partner has Alzheimer's diagnosed almost 3 years ago. He is still perfectly capable of doing his own personal care, i.e. washing, shaving and bathing. However, although I put clean underwear and clothes out for him after every bath he won't put them on! He puts the same old clothes back on and the clean ones he puts back in the drawer. I try discussing and explaining to him but he gets very angry, agitated and shouts at me. Any suggestions?
Clean clothes!
- Thread starter nonnykettle
- Start date
Hello @nonnykettle and welcome to Talking Point
While he is washing, shaving etc take his dirty clothes and put them straight in the washing machine and wash them. By the time he realises that they have gone it will be too late.
"oh, Im so sorry, I thought they needed washing. Look, theres some clean ones here"
While he is washing, shaving etc take his dirty clothes and put them straight in the washing machine and wash them. By the time he realises that they have gone it will be too late.
"oh, Im so sorry, I thought they needed washing. Look, theres some clean ones here"
Thank you so much. Such an easy and obvious suggestion but I didn't think of it. Will try it tomorrow when he bathes.
My husband would have done just the same - no, that's not true, he wouldn't have put the clean clothes away but he would put on yesterday's.
I just popped in and removed the dirty clothes to the laundry basket, leaving the clean things in a pile ready for him to put on. Didn't bother to mention it. Just did it. It seemed to work. An awful lot of things were better left unexplained, or he would get confused. I tried to keep things as straightforward as possible.
I just popped in and removed the dirty clothes to the laundry basket, leaving the clean things in a pile ready for him to put on. Didn't bother to mention it. Just did it. It seemed to work. An awful lot of things were better left unexplained, or he would get confused. I tried to keep things as straightforward as possible.
Brilliant I will do that and not explain myself. Better left unexplained I agree. Thank you
I do the same. I hide my dad's dirty clothes in the garage as he was taking them out of the washer and hanging them up to dry when they hadn't been washed. I just stash dirties behind the garage door until there's a load. He hasn't found them ... Yet !
I did the same.. if I left clean pants out invariably he would put both dirty and clean ones on....on top of each other! So whisked away dirty ones before he had a chance and often gave him a few items to hold so I could distract and work the dirty ones out of his hand...all sneaky tactics you see!!
Hi . I am new to this game and had same problem withOH. With advice from this group I've learned to be devious. I take dirty laundry while he breakfast throwing almost identical sets on the floor as he does. Don't explain. No objection so far. This works for most items but can't yet work out how to get at the t shirt he wears day and night. Suggestions cause abuse. As long as I don't come into body contact I can let that and no showers, go. Hygiene an awkward problem as so personal. This is something I find really difficult as I'm fastidious. Hand washing and general careless habits are part of the pwd problem. This is the place for informed advice so keep contactingTP.
It is so odd isn’t it? I do the same...swap clean for dirty while he is in the shower. I put it down to him being a different generation. When he was a child there certainly wouldn’t have been clean clothes every day. I’m twenty years younger than him, and I was bathed once a week as a child ...and had clean clothes only a couple of times a week. So I wonder if these PWD are reverting to childhood habits?
Same here - whisk them away as soon as taken off. If there are any protests such as “I was going to wear them again, I haven’t been out today”, then I just make a plausible excuse like “ I need to make the wash up” or “ you’ve got lots of nice clothes, it would be a shame not to wear them” . It usually works but you have to be quick off the mark otherwise dirty gets put back in draws with clean. If I think that’s happened I do a quick draw (and anywhere else clothes might lile under the pillow) check when she’s not in the room. Sometimes the system falls down in which case it’s heyho, never mind, tomorrow is another day.
I've often said, if I ever get dementia I'm going to be one of those awkward people who won't change her clothes or wash! I can easily understand how it happens! You know (or is it just me?? 
) when you're all comfy and cosy, and then you realise that you have to take all your lovely warm clothes off and get all wet in the shower. Don't you find it tempting to think "no, I'll just stay in these warm, comfy clothes!"
) when you're all comfy and cosy, and then you realise that you have to take all your lovely warm clothes off and get all wet in the shower. Don't you find it tempting to think "no, I'll just stay in these warm, comfy clothes!" 
I feel like that every day. Some weekends I stay in my PJs and don't shower at all. (Not this Saturday I hasten to add. I might even wash my hair!I've often said, if I ever get dementia I'm going to be one of those awkward people who won't change her clothes or wash! I can easily understand how it happens! You know (or is it just me??
)I'm glad it's not just me feels that way, @Beate ! And can't you just see, with dementia, how the days could slip by, and it would just be so easy?!I feel like that every day. Some weekends I stay in my PJs and don't shower at all. (Not this Saturday I hasten to add. I might even wash my hair!
Hi. Having read all your messages, I've come to the conclusion that there is no simple answer. My wife can't look after herself in the bathing department. She won't let me help and insists on washing herself. This means two inches of hot water in the bath , places one foot into the water, then out and dries herself with the warm towel which I've left on the radiator. Then gets dressed with a mixture of clean and dirty clothes. Then for the next hour or so I get nothing but shouting about not letting the carer into the house, she doesn't need them, she can look after herself. Then the carer arrives. She asks my wife, would you like to have a bath this morning, oh, yes, I'll go and get undressed. Great, while she's being washed I'm tasked with sorting clean from dirty. It can't be done, so its all taken for washing. So then it's more clean clothes, oh yes, and that rather aromatic bath towel too. My answer to the problem is to have a good supply of easy to wash and dry clothes, she had four layers on today, i actually thought she was gaining weight. And a good supply of washing powder and lot of fabric conditioner. Not to mention a liberal amount of patience. Al.
That thought occurred to me as well while struggling with dad's personal care and if reverting I and certainly dad never had these odd modern things called showers! Always a tin bath under the kitchen worktop in their London flat that came out once a week while Sing Something Simple was on the radio! Plus...I think without many clothes on perhaps the pwd feels a heightened sense of vulnerability...I know I do!
[QUOTE="Rolypoly, post: 1494724, member. It’s amazing how many days one outfit can last when it’s so comfy[/QUOTE]
So true!!!
. It’s amazing how many days one outfit can last when it’s so comfy[/QUOTE]So true!!!
My dad sleeps fully dressed in his chair that he sits in all day and has done so for years. Now he has AD and relies on me for lots of help so I was putting clean clothes out for him every few days which he did change into but often not his underwear , even when it was apparent he'd had an accident. He's recently allowed his morning carer give him a strip down wash 3 days a week including change of underwear and best of all they've got him wearing pull up sanitary pants so no more mucky pants and trousers to wash. I'm so glad that he is so compliant to all these indignities and really feel for those of you dealing with angry and upsetting behaviour. When/if that happens to him I'm afraid that will be my cut off point and the LA will need to step in and arrange residential care for him
