Can I ... Should I?
- Thread starter Sam Luvit
- Start date
Sam - I was away over the weekend and haven't fully read back, so this might have been covered, but your comment of TIA vs stroke - I thought a TIA is a form of stroke, ie mini stroke, with the same outcome treatment plan.
I had this discussion with my SIL as she didn't want MIL to take statins, stating she hasn't had a stroke. The cause is the same, the difference is the symptoms are only short lasting and not needing significant recovery time, the long term damage in the brain can be the same, so maybe the health professional wasn't differentiating as to them there is no difference as the treatment is the same post discharge, it's just that a TIA doesn't have as much short term impact, so the boundary is fairly fluid.
I had this discussion with my SIL as she didn't want MIL to take statins, stating she hasn't had a stroke. The cause is the same, the difference is the symptoms are only short lasting and not needing significant recovery time, the long term damage in the brain can be the same, so maybe the health professional wasn't differentiating as to them there is no difference as the treatment is the same post discharge, it's just that a TIA doesn't have as much short term impact, so the boundary is fairly fluid.
I also have to look up the difference beteeen a TIA (I think it stands for transient ischemic attack) and a stroke.
Sam, the jelly bean thing was a joke at poor Amethyst's expense. I don't know if you were following along on her cruise adventures over on her Can I have time off to be ill thread, and of course you've had a lot going on, but there were jelly beans involved. Didn't mean to confuse you.
Our travel budget is looking slim at the moment and we have a lot of things that need doing to the house, but I have started to wonder about a trip to the UK. I've been to London and a few day trips from there and that's it. It might be time I saw some of the rest of the UK, plus Ireland, don't you think? I've no idea how we would organize this, mind you. But it's a thought.
Sam, I can definitely understand you not wanting to leave your mum alone, I really can. But you can't be a prisoner in the house. I don't mean to upset you, I'm sorry.
Sam, the jelly bean thing was a joke at poor Amethyst's expense. I don't know if you were following along on her cruise adventures over on her Can I have time off to be ill thread, and of course you've had a lot going on, but there were jelly beans involved. Didn't mean to confuse you.
Our travel budget is looking slim at the moment and we have a lot of things that need doing to the house, but I have started to wonder about a trip to the UK. I've been to London and a few day trips from there and that's it. It might be time I saw some of the rest of the UK, plus Ireland, don't you think? I've no idea how we would organize this, mind you. But it's a thought.
Sam, I can definitely understand you not wanting to leave your mum alone, I really can. But you can't be a prisoner in the house. I don't mean to upset you, I'm sorry.
Go ahead and take my name in vain! I’m cured of my addiction, until the next holiday. I can think of one way you could see the UK. Use us! I’d be very happy to show you round this corner of Kent!
Theres several of us on the south coast. Brighton is quite central and could be good for a general meet-up 
Hi @jugglingmum, yes a TIA is a mini stroke, it lasts seconds or maybe a minute, it’s a short term blockage that clears itself, but has no real lasting effect. It often precedes a full stroke, it’s a warning if things to come, or can be. It can’t be seen in a scan. That’s what I managed to get as definitions from the medics
A stroke on the other hand is longer lasting & needs something to clear it. The brain is damaged & can be seen in the scan.
The medical treatment seems pretty similar, blood thinners to prevent future blockages. However, Physio is needed to relearn lost information, strengthen weakness etc. Mums damage was to the part if the brain that controls balance. She is learning to walk down stairs properly & how to balance in standing.
I was told she’d had a TIA (poss 2), but these clear very quickly & there is no lasting damage. I just felt that to be told 3 days post discharge that it was a stroke, her balance control had been damaged & Physio wouId help, was a bit different. I guess it was more I didn’t feel prepared, although the end result is the same. I’m still supporting her. So, but if a storm in a teacup to get upset over really
Tomarto tomayto, same thing, different pronunciations lol
A stroke on the other hand is longer lasting & needs something to clear it. The brain is damaged & can be seen in the scan.
The medical treatment seems pretty similar, blood thinners to prevent future blockages. However, Physio is needed to relearn lost information, strengthen weakness etc. Mums damage was to the part if the brain that controls balance. She is learning to walk down stairs properly & how to balance in standing.
I was told she’d had a TIA (poss 2), but these clear very quickly & there is no lasting damage. I just felt that to be told 3 days post discharge that it was a stroke, her balance control had been damaged & Physio wouId help, was a bit different. I guess it was more I didn’t feel prepared, although the end result is the same. I’m still supporting her. So, but if a storm in a teacup to get upset over really
Tomarto tomayto, same thing, different pronunciations lol
Just finished reading the threads and catching up.
Had a smile at the mention of Fri and Sat nights out so carefreebut now the thoughts of going out fills me with dread just want to curl up with a nice glass of read and my weakness a box of fruit particles, my idea of heaven.
Sam stick with the carers, at least you can get out knowing your Mum is safe whilst you walk the pooch. I know it's so invasive but you do kinda get used to it.
Bit of a nightmare here, had to have the cavity wall insulation removed and the drilling noise was horrendous. It took 2 1/2 days to remove and the mess was awful so thankful it's all done now, but poor Mum was so anxious and agitated with the noise and got quite angry plus Mum was still getting over her uti as the first antibiotics didn't work.
Mum is struggling with her mobility and transferring to bed at night is very difficult even though I have a carer with me so having to think of any options that may be available.
Wishing everybody a reasonable night with much needed sleep.
Had a smile at the mention of Fri and Sat nights out so carefreebut now the thoughts of going out fills me with dread just want to curl up with a nice glass of read and my weakness a box of fruit particles, my idea of heaven.
Sam stick with the carers, at least you can get out knowing your Mum is safe whilst you walk the pooch. I know it's so invasive but you do kinda get used to it.
Bit of a nightmare here, had to have the cavity wall insulation removed and the drilling noise was horrendous. It took 2 1/2 days to remove and the mess was awful so thankful it's all done now, but poor Mum was so anxious and agitated with the noise and got quite angry plus Mum was still getting over her uti as the first antibiotics didn't work.
Mum is struggling with her mobility and transferring to bed at night is very difficult even though I have a carer with me so having to think of any options that may be available.
Wishing everybody a reasonable night with much needed sleep.
Ha ha @Amy in the US I guessed there had been some discussion somewhere. Between Mum, hospitals & alerts not happening, maybe I’ll get to catch up one day
I don’t know how you feel about driving over here, wrong sure of the road and all that, but you could hire a Motorhome & travel everywhere. Well, maybe not everywhere, some places would be better to park up & hop a tube (underground) into London etc
Ireland can be a coach & ferry, so you can do that, but it’s not the cheapest place to visit, but it is beautiful. We went as a family & hired a caravan once off the ferry, cheaper than taking one on the ferry lol
It wouId depend on so many things, insurance etc, how everything is working, but maybe you could use Poppet, she’s not modern & she’s no luxury van, but once the heater is replaced, she should be snug
I know I need to look at getting out. Brother needs me to deliver something for a major client, so he is Mum sitting for a few hours tomorrow. Yeah, I was shocked too. Once I’ve got the ok for her to be alone, I’ll work on leaving her, till then, I need to be around. They are concerned about her BP. I don’t take offence that easily @Amy in the US honest
Theres several of us on the south coast. Brighton is quite central and could be good for a general meet-up
I’m working on getting names on a map to see where everyone is & plan a road trip or three lol
The only thing you have to think of, the roads here are not straight or fast & A roads are slow & B roads are even slower lol
Hi @rosy18
Nights out wouId be beyond me now, I wouldn't have a clue lol. Blackpool was a shock to my system & that was fairly low key
I’m using the morning Carer to walk pooch. It’s just the waiting when they are late. Do I wake Mum up, or let her sleep. They might arrive now or in 40 minutes. It’s hard to see what’s best for her
Wow. 2 1/2 days of drilling wouId send me loopy, I can’t imagine you trying to reassure your mum for all that time. Must have been so tiring. Glad it’s finished, hope it cures the problem.
Ahhh sleep. That wouId be nice. A full straight through 8 hours wouId be bliss
Nights out wouId be beyond me now, I wouldn't have a clue lol. Blackpool was a shock to my system & that was fairly low key
I’m using the morning Carer to walk pooch. It’s just the waiting when they are late. Do I wake Mum up, or let her sleep. They might arrive now or in 40 minutes. It’s hard to see what’s best for her
Wow. 2 1/2 days of drilling wouId send me loopy, I can’t imagine you trying to reassure your mum for all that time. Must have been so tiring. Glad it’s finished, hope it cures the problem.
Ahhh sleep. That wouId be nice. A full straight through 8 hours wouId be bliss
Wouldn't it just.Just got Mum on and off commode back into bed and now I'm lay here wide awake with Mum back fast asleep .
Just a thought Sam I know you'v mentioned befrienders,. Mum has one a lovely Lady comes once a week for 2 hours and sits with Mum,even though Mums usually sleeping for at least half the visit.What they are not allowed to do though (health and safety) is toilet assist so I couldn't go out and leave her with Mum alone now that Mums unable to use the loo by
herself.
Better try and get some sleep !!
Just a thought Sam I know you'v mentioned befrienders,. Mum has one a lovely Lady comes once a week for 2 hours and sits with Mum,even though Mums usually sleeping for at least half the visit.What they are not allowed to do though (health and safety) is toilet assist so I couldn't go out and leave her with Mum alone now that Mums unable to use the loo by
herself.
Better try and get some sleep !!
Hiya Sam,
Just popping in to say that I so sympathise with the headache over sorting out prescriptions and dealing with medication changes. I used to swear that there is a special corner of hell, reserved just for pharamacists, and I still believe that! So arrogant and apparently it's part of their job discription to make life as hard as possible for you, whilst doing as little as possible to help. Dealing with the medication changes probably wore me out as much as the actual care did, looking back it seems like I spent hours dealing with that aspect. From having to check the medi packs, then deal with far too many mistakes that seemed to happen with them weekly, to dealing with changes that meant I had periods where I was responsible for withdrawing one drug and introducing another (and so scared that I would make a mistake!), and - of course - the hours spent acting as a go between for the consultant/GP and pharamcist, and on the phone, trying to make sure that prescriptions were correct.
I know exactly where you are coming from regarding the stairs issue. You know, I know, everyone knows that making yourself vulnerable to injury by being there to catch her, is not how it should be done. Equally, we all know that we would all probably do the same. Banister rails on either side, if you don't have them and if they can be fitted, might help. And the only other suggestion I can make is to ask have you thought about a stair gate, to stop her attempting the stairs, if you have to go out? Fitting it two or three steps up will make it harder for her to attempt to climb it, and make it safer x
Just popping in to say that I so sympathise with the headache over sorting out prescriptions and dealing with medication changes. I used to swear that there is a special corner of hell, reserved just for pharamacists, and I still believe that! So arrogant and apparently it's part of their job discription to make life as hard as possible for you, whilst doing as little as possible to help. Dealing with the medication changes probably wore me out as much as the actual care did, looking back it seems like I spent hours dealing with that aspect. From having to check the medi packs, then deal with far too many mistakes that seemed to happen with them weekly, to dealing with changes that meant I had periods where I was responsible for withdrawing one drug and introducing another (and so scared that I would make a mistake!), and - of course - the hours spent acting as a go between for the consultant/GP and pharamcist, and on the phone, trying to make sure that prescriptions were correct.
I know exactly where you are coming from regarding the stairs issue. You know, I know, everyone knows that making yourself vulnerable to injury by being there to catch her, is not how it should be done. Equally, we all know that we would all probably do the same. Banister rails on either side, if you don't have them and if they can be fitted, might help. And the only other suggestion I can make is to ask have you thought about a stair gate, to stop her attempting the stairs, if you have to go out? Fitting it two or three steps up will make it harder for her to attempt to climb it, and make it safer x
I’ve been reading about the stair Saga...and yes, I would do the same too. We all would. We are all doing things most days that we would not or could not, ask anyone else to do. It’s one of the reasons the government are so willing to let carers take the burden. It would take far too many people to replace the care that one carer provides.
My Dad was very slow on the stairs and sometimes leaned forward when coming downstairs. He did use the banisters on both sides when he made his way downstairs and never stumbled or slipped on the stairs. He just took his time which the carers didn't like.The carers were very reluctant to help him come downstairs some mornings and at one point insisted on him staying in bed until he had been assessed by an OT. They wouldn't walk in front of him in case he fell on them and wouldn't walk behind him on the stairs (can't remember what reason they gave for that one).All he needed was to be prompted to carry on walking downstairs but the carers said they couldn't even stand at the bottom of the stairs and prompt him in case he fell on them.
Anyway once the OT came and told them they couldn't try to keep someone who was mobile in bed she suggested , on the days that Dad was unsteady, that the carers could get him to come down stairs backwards as if he overbalanced leaning forward he wouldn't fall down stairs. Don't know if that would have worked because the carers never tried it and the carers were replaced with others shortly afterwards.
Anyway once the OT came and told them they couldn't try to keep someone who was mobile in bed she suggested , on the days that Dad was unsteady, that the carers could get him to come down stairs backwards as if he overbalanced leaning forward he wouldn't fall down stairs. Don't know if that would have worked because the carers never tried it and the carers were replaced with others shortly afterwards.
Just a thought Sam is it possible your Mum could or would maybe sleep downstairs, could her bed be brought downstairs just until she regains more balance. I know I would do exactly the same as you on the stairs but I do cringe at the thought of what could happen. Good job we are not weaklings isn't it!!
Hi @rosy18
The befriender is coming to meet Mum tomorrow. I’ve told Mum that’s its for me to have a break, so I want her to give it a go. I can well see Mum throwing a wobbly & saying she doesn’t need a baby sitter.
Heaven only knows what they will do. Mum reads & sleeps with hourly trips up the stairs to the loo, back too the kitchen, where she makes her tea, drinks, then zimmer back to the lounge. It’s here exercise routine until Physio come up with suggestions If they can’t help her with the stairs & I mean just be there to talk her down, I won’t be able to leave the house for more than an hour. But, I’m going to be positive. I can walk pooch for an hour, do the loo trip & go shopping for an hour. It’s the break from dementia I want. Lthiygh I have fantasies about crawling into bed & sleeping Oh @rosy18 i wish. We have a brand new, refurbed downstairs loo, I spent forever finding a sink that wouId fit, bit she refuses to use it. Says she doesn’t like it. We have a chaise long that makes into a double bed in the lounge, but she wants to sleep in her bed
I don’t touch or hold Mum on the stairs. I’m just near her. I think it helps her confidence, not sure how much use I’d be if she missed a step, but I can’t seem to walk away
Sam, could the upstairs loo develop a plumbing problem, just for one day, so your mum has to use the downstairs one a few times.Hi @rosy18
The befriender is coming to meet Mum tomorrow. I’ve told Mum that’s its for me to have a break, so I want her to give it a go. I can well see Mum throwing a wobbly & saying she doesn’t need a baby sitter.
Oh @rosy18 i wish. We have a brand new, refurbed downstairs loo, I spent forever finding a sink that wouId fit, bit she refuses to use it. Says she doesn’t like it. We have a chaise long that makes into a double bed in the lounge, but she wants to sleep in her bed
I don’t touch or hold Mum on the stairs. I’m just near her. I think it helps her confidence, not sure how much use I’d be if she missed a step, but I can’t seem to walk away
