Moving house...any advice or experiences please!

[Clutterbuck]

My dad has vascular dementia - probably mid stage now and he is also completely blind. He and his wife live in a large house which my step mum is finding it difficult to cope with. the main issue though is one of safety - Dd getting down and up the stairs.
We have found a lovely 2 bed bungalow a couple of minutes from where they currently live. I have looked around it and so has my step mum. I am an OT so I have looked at the bungalow with (I hope!) a professional eye and there are some adaptations which need to b made but it would be a much safer and easier to manage home for them both.
Dad has agreed to the move and he has come to this decision himself, however he fixates on financial issues (he has always done this prior to the dementia) and is already worrying about whether they can afford it etc. They can easily afford the move and will have quite a lot of spare cash over for extra care etc as he progresses.
Any advise regarding the move..how others have managed similar situations?? would be grateful of any advise.
Thanks.

 

[margherita]

If they both want to move , it wouldn't be a bad idea. Your dad would be safer and his wife would cope better with a smaller house.
I suppose you have already taken into consideration that in some years or months (who knows, dementia is unpredictable) your dad might need a care home and have to move out again.
One day at a time, anyhow.
Moving houses seems a good decision, today.

 

[Shedrech]

hi Clutterbuck
I'd say go for it - not only will it help with safety issues for your dad, it will help your mum in looking after him, keeping herself safe now and be more manageable in the future - especially given that you have some professional understanding of what aids and adaptions will help too
your dad has given his consent/agreement so now, personally, I would go ahead and make all arrangements without discussing it with him again - I appreciate this sounds like it's shutting him out but as he gets anxious about finances, overall it will be kinder to him not to have to face any questions which will raise his anxiety - and that will make life easier for your mum too
are you able to take on making the arrangements so your mum is free to focus on your dad?
if he has capacity, he will only really need to sign a few documents towards the end of the process - otherwise his Attorney will sign (I hope you have LPAs n place) and he need not be bothered at all
does their current property need to be sold to buy the new property? - having potential buyers shown round may be a bit tricky and will take some thought - maybe they could be your friends who are nosy or pricing up for some work eg adaptions - if they can move then sell, that's ideal

 

[Clutterbuck]

Thank you for your responses. We do have an LPA in place for finances so will try and get things done where we can without dad needing to be involved. They can afford to buy without selling their current home which is a huge bonus & will hopefully take a lot of the stress out of the move. Although it is sad to admit, Dad gets so confused & disorientated in the house now I don't think he would know where he was..having no visual cues to support him just makes it all so much more difficult.
Thanks again for your advice.