Worried about my Grandad.

[Lmh1977]

Oh Lmh, my heart really goes out to you. I am not religious either but found myself kneeling by the side of my bed the other night, actually praying for my mother's release. I do understand but there seems ro be no rhyme or reason to how long someone can go on, it is incredible sometimes how the human body and spirit keeps fighting for life.

Re your son, he is very, very lucky to have had a great grandad and it is good that he visited him but indeed there is probably a point where if it starts to upset your son it is not longer a good idea for him to visit. Mum loved it when children visited her nursing home, she would watch them with a smile and absolute fascination. Don't feel bad about their relationship ending - it was always going to have to at some point, sadly but like I said both your son and your grandad are lucky to have known each other and to have had any sort of bond.

Thankyou so much for your kind words. My grandad has been so loved throughout his life by different people and that gives me alot of comfort. My 2 grown children have their own children so he has is an great great grandad but they are far too young to know him properly or remember him. This is also what I fear that they will not remember him. My husband and I have faced some real tough times through the last 20 years. We nearly lost our daughter through cancer when she was young. We got through our son having meningitis but nothing has prepared me for this and the feelings that I have. I suppose with the children I was fighting to keep them and we had hope but this is just waiting for life to end. I'm sorry for my words but that is how it feels. Again sorry for going on. It seems to pour out when I start. Sending you love and strength

 

[Lmh1977]

Sat with grandad this morning. But he has slept most of my visit. He didn't want anything at breakfast time and was very unhappy. He said he had alot of pain in his head and also his side and back. The nurse came and gave him some paracetamol and said his pain sounded like it was kidney related. The doctor came yesterday and said there was no more that they can do just keep him comfortable and push fluids.the side and back pain is a new thing. The nurse said about taking him to hospital but I didn't think that was a good idea. He gets so upset and confused no to mention he just wants for hours on an uncomfortable bed and then gets poked about. I hope this was the right decision. They will call the gp on Monday to look at him it may just mean stronger pain relief. I don't know what is the right decision. His breathing pattern when asleep was different too. It seemed to be a few big breaths then nothing for what seemed like forever then big breaths again. Maybe I'm just seeing things I don't know. I've told the home to ring if they need too.

 

[Lmh1977]

Sat thinking all day about the next stages. Have tried to research kidney failing but not really answering my questions. Has anyone else dealt with kidney failure and what happens? Just can't seem to focus on anything else today. My poor nana is becoming more heartbroken by the day and I worry so much about her. Hope everyone has had an ok day and I'm thinking of everyone on here

 

[Lmh1977]

The go came out to see grandad today. He is not eating and drinks very little. The go has now stopped all medication other than ain relief and has now said he is on end of life. He said just to keep him comfortable and give him fluid and food if he wants them. His hands are getting a bluish colour to them and he is barely awake. When awake he is very breathless and agitated.almost frightened somwtimes. No one is sure how long is left but I am praying it is soon and peaceful. I hate to leàve him alone. Not sure what to do.right. I'm making a good job of looking like I know.

 

[love.dad.but..]

The go came out to see grandad today. He is not eating and drinks very little. The go has now stopped all medication other than ain relief and has now said he is on end of life. He said just to keep him comfortable and give him fluid and food if he wants them. His hands are getting a bluish colour to them and he is barely awake. When awake he is very breathless and agitated.almost frightened somwtimes. No one is sure how long is left but I am praying it is soon and peaceful. I hate to leàve him alone. Not sure what to do.right. I'm making a good job of looking like I know.

I am sure you are doing a very good job as you have always done as a loving caring grandchild. If he is sometimes agitated or breathless could his pain and comfort relief medication be reviewed? Dad at end of life was kept painfree and comfortable through regular injections even when he became unconscious and was unable to show any discomfort so it is important to monitor. You will gradually see changes in your Grandad as he progresses through end of life...speak to the staff if you have any concerns so they can help you understand and help your Grandad. I am thinking of you and send you a virtual hug....no two ways about it...I found it tough with my dad but relieved for him. Your grandad would be so very proud of you and all that you are doing for him

 

[Lmh1977]

I am sure you are doing a very good job as you have always done as a loving caring grandchild. If he is sometimes agitated or breathless could his pain and comfort relief medication be reviewed? Dad at end of life was kept painfree and comfortable through regular injections even when he became unconscious and was unable to show any discomfort so it is important to monitor. You will gradually see changes in your Grandad as he progresses through end of life...speak to the staff if you have any concerns so they can help you understand and help your Grandad. I am thinking of you and send you a virtual hug....no two ways about it...I found it tough with my dad but relieved for him. Your grandad would be so very proud of you and all that you are doing for him

Thankyou for your kind words. He is getting weaker and is taking less and less. The not knowing how long is the worst. The staff are ok but they seem to think I want to hear that he may get better and he could be like this for a long time. I so hope it goes quickly as his quality of life is none. He has lost so much weight that sitting on the toilet is painful. He is losing his sense of needing the toilet what little comes out now goes in his pad. Going again today.

 

[Lmh1977]

Slept most of the day. He had only 100mls of fluid at most and a mouthful of banana at breakfast and a mouthful of potato at lunch. Nothing at teatime. He is now back in bed and asleep. How much longer does anyone think is left?

 

[canary]

Oh @Lmh1977 this stage is so difficult.
Unfortunately it is truly not possible to know how long. It may be very fast, but Im afraid that your dad may indeed bounce back - my mum did.
Once they stop eating and drinking anything at all then they are truly at the end

 

[Lmh1977]

Grandad is now at peace. He sadly but peacefully passed away on the 26th Jan with his wife of 60+ years by his side. I was there with him at the final moments and it was so calm and wasn't frightening at all. My heart is broken. He is finally out of his pain and torment. I got to spend some quiet times with grandad in the days leading upto his passing and I got to tell him how much I loved him and that my children will make him proud. I promised him I would look after my nana until she was with him. Unsure of how life is going to be without him. Especially when my youngest is reaching his milestones that he will miss.

 

[Shedrech]

sad news @Lmh1977
I hope it's a comfort to your nana and you that your granddad went peacefully and you were with him
my condolences

 

[Delmar]

Thankyou so much for your kind words. My grandad has been so loved throughout his life by different people and that gives me alot of comfort. My 2 grown children have their own children so he has is an great great grandad but they are far too young to know him properly or remember him. This is also what I fear that they will not remember him. My husband and I have faced some real tough times through the last 20 years. We nearly lost our daughter through cancer when she was young. We got through our son having meningitis but nothing has prepared me for this and the feelings that I have. I suppose with the children I was fighting to keep them and we had hope but this is just waiting for life to end. I'm sorry for my words but that is how it feels. Again sorry for going on. It seems to pour out when I start. Sending you love and strength