Thank you DeMartin. I hadn't thought of that. I use to have lots of craft hobbies that I enjoyed doing. I will google and see if I can find anything here where I live.
HOME ALONE
- Thread starter Rosebay
- Start date
My husband has been in a care home for nearly two years.I still teach one/two days a week but last winter was bleak-I nearly went under-so I began volunteering at the local National Trust place this year. Only have to do one day a fortnight-can do more if you want to. Best thing I've done in years. It doesn't help with the lonely evenings but it does get me off the sofa and out, mixing with lots of new people in a situation which is easy to go to on your own-plus I love history which helps! I'd certainly recommend volunteering- it's hard work but worth and I can book in hours around visiting husband.
Know how you feel on your birthday, it was mine Jan 7th last year John got annoyed that I had presents and not him, when someone wished me Happy Birthday he then got annoyed that he didn't know about it. This year I went out for the day with our daughter and two granddaughters. Would have loved to have shared it with John but they said he was asleep in bed as he hadn't gone to bed untill 3am, something he often did at home.
Hope you manage to become involved in new things and enjoy meeting new people, I am hoping to do the same. Take care Rosebay x
Hope you manage to become involved in new things and enjoy meeting new people, I am hoping to do the same. Take care Rosebay x
Hi everyone, I am in the same position my husband is in a nursing Home since just after Christmas and how strange life is after being a full time carer to having no focus I struggled to get out of bed in a morning but having dogs meant I had to, once up things improve but have to force myself to make plans meet friends sort through a cupboard etc,keep busy. Sadly now he’s end of life and I’m sitting by his bed overnight so he’s not alone but I’m glad he’s in this nursing home staff on hand to turn him and give expert nursing care I couldn’t of coped at home without 24 hour care, love the man he was and pray he doesn’t linger too long xxx
I feel so sad for you @jennypie . I hope he doesn't have to suffer too much more now, or you. I find my days busy as I am still a carer for my youngest son. I have joined groups but struggle if the group is too big. Like you my dog makes me get up and go out, just waiting for some improvement in the weather, that might lift my spirits. Visited my husband today who was very agitated and sitting at the dining table doing something with the tablecloth. Asked what he was doing and he told me was busy working it out, I asked him what and his answer was, how to get rid of you! I don't take it personally because he has no idea who I am but no point hanging around when he is agitated. The man I married was a kind and considerate man with a wicked sense of humour it is distressing to see whatthis disease has done to him. I hope you have a peaceful night @Jenny pie and can begin to find your happy and loving memories.
Just to let all my friends here know that my husband passed tonight. Fortunately I was with him which was what I always wanted to be. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do now without him.
Thank you all for thinking of me.I have hardly slept all night and I am not even dressed yet. I am a complete mess and although I knew how this was going to end I wasnt prepared. I dont seem to be able to stop crying. I am to young to be home alone
Thank you Spamar
I guess I will now have to move to the After Dementia - dealing with loss forum now
I guess I will now have to move to the After Dementia - dealing with loss forum now
Thank you bunpoots . I am dressed now and my sister is on her way round. Its a lovely day here so I think I need a long walk to help me clear my head. We always use to go walking together hand in hand I hope he is still by my side
Dear Rosebay, so sorry for your loss. I came across this page for rather obscure reasons, but decided to sign up so I could mention a couple of references that I found useful while coping with my mother's passing in 2015 (she had Alzheimer's), and my father's passing almost a year ago. Now I help care for my step-Dad who has dementia. As a new account user I cannot post links, but if you search in the usual way you should be able to find the relevant pages (or an established user here could search and post the links for you).
The first is a page on the web site of the British Psychological Society, titled, "Coping with Bereavement".
The second is a page on the main NHS UK site, also called, "Coping with Bereavement".
My family and I found these documents very informative, especially in understanding the range of reactions that are perfectly normal. Naturally, the articles cover many of the same issues, but have a different focus (I recommend reading the BPS article first). Both have additional suggestions for those needing futher information, support and advice.
My step-Dad and mother were married for over 25 years. With hindsight, my main conclusion is that, when a husband or wife passes away, there is a degree to which social and care services perhaps understandably focus more on the immediate physical medical needs (if any) of the remaining partner, as opposed to emotional or psychological factors. Perhaps there is an assumption that an older person is more experienced in life and thus ought to just be able to handle things better, but such an assumption is often in error. If a parent loses a child, there is significant proactive emotional support available, but the situation is very different for an elderly person who loses a partner.
Thus, I am glad you have the support of your family and others here at this time, and your comments have helped me to understand better what my step-Dad has been going through, so it is a very good thing that forums such as this exist.
Best wishes.
The first is a page on the web site of the British Psychological Society, titled, "Coping with Bereavement".
The second is a page on the main NHS UK site, also called, "Coping with Bereavement".
My family and I found these documents very informative, especially in understanding the range of reactions that are perfectly normal. Naturally, the articles cover many of the same issues, but have a different focus (I recommend reading the BPS article first). Both have additional suggestions for those needing futher information, support and advice.
My step-Dad and mother were married for over 25 years. With hindsight, my main conclusion is that, when a husband or wife passes away, there is a degree to which social and care services perhaps understandably focus more on the immediate physical medical needs (if any) of the remaining partner, as opposed to emotional or psychological factors. Perhaps there is an assumption that an older person is more experienced in life and thus ought to just be able to handle things better, but such an assumption is often in error. If a parent loses a child, there is significant proactive emotional support available, but the situation is very different for an elderly person who loses a partner.
Thus, I am glad you have the support of your family and others here at this time, and your comments have helped me to understand better what my step-Dad has been going through, so it is a very good thing that forums such as this exist.
Best wishes.
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