Dying and Recognising the Signs

technotronic

Registered User
Jun 14, 2014
223
0
It seems to me that interim carers that came in to take care of my wife on her second release from hospital on 23rd Dec 2017, weren't trained dementia carers but just ordinary carers n so during their care of her during her last week they didn't seem to recognise any of the signs that my wife's body was shutting down n saving blood for only the vital organs something that I didn't know at the time either.
None of them commented on the fact that her arms n hands felt cold most of the time, I noticed this change n felt n found it strange n thought something was seriously wrong.
Her body seemed more wracked with pain as they rolled her painfully side to side as they pulled up her incontinence pants after changing her as well.
On the evening that carers noticed n became concerned about her breathing n cough n called the paramedics without my knowing before their arrival on their return to our home that night, it showed in them n also the paramedics they called their lack of training in dealing with n caring for dementia sufferers, and in that the first instinct was to try to save her life by clearing the airways more n conclusion treatment could be better in hospital that could save her life (or prolong it) despite a DNR notice in place n shown to them which was ignored by paramedics
The 'duty of care' that paramedic quoted to me that night before I would agree to letting them take her to hospital seems to me to be like a 'covering their back's in case my wife had got worse n it seemed that they'd not done their job properly by not treating her or taking her to hospital.
Even at hospital the doctors ignored the signs of her body shouting down (and also the DNR notice) in giving her antibiotics to try to fight the what they concluded was a chest infection by classing it as 'treating' her n not recovery.
Surely when caring for or when treating dementia suffers these 'professionals' should need training to recognise n know the difference between when a dementia sufferer is ill or when the body is shutting down n they are in final stage of dying.
Putting my wife unnecessarily through what the paramedics n also doctors at hospital did took away her chance of dying with some dignity n also dying in her own home. During last two months of her life she had seen enough of n spent enough time in hospitals to end up with the indignity of yet again being taken to hospital to save her when she was in fact dying

Don't get me wrong, carers n paramedics do do a good job it's just that they need more training in Recognising signs when taking care of or treating dementia sufferers.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
There are certainly areas where the services seem to have inadequate training and insight, especially with dementia @technotronic and you are now beating yourself up because you feel some of your wife's suffering was unnecessary.

It`s a heartbreaking situation because nothing can now be done and you are left with very painful memories.

I still go back to painful times even four years after death. They upset me every time.

I did make a formal complaint to the hospital . There was a hearing and apologies were made but it didn't`t take the hurt away.
 

Steve115

Registered User
May 17, 2016
99
0
Huntingdon area
Hi Techtronic,
I am interested and saddened by your experience but not actually surprised. My wife is just starting the cycle of infections that I suspect will carry her off. She has had 3 admissions to hospital since the start of December and has currently just recovered from the third. A nursing sister has explained that eventually they will not be able to treat infection any more.

I have registered DNR with the hospital, GP and NH. However, as you say paramedics will not recognise this and will try and treat while at home, removing to A&E in most cases.

My son, who is a Funeral Director, advised me that I have to write DNR on her chest so that it is quite visible to any medics. They will take note of it in this instance.

I think that you are quite right in that very few medics really understand Dementia and few recognise the sight and signs of a body closing down.

In many respects I am lucky my GP is aware of the situation and its outcome and has already prepared me though it might be sometime yet. If at all possible he will be my first contact whenever I need medical assistance for my wife.

What makes me most angry is that we pay to get the legal backing of an LPA which can have ramifications if we break the rules but the medics can ride roughshod over anything we say or ask for as we are just the carer. It really does not seem right.

I was very saddened to hear of your loss and send you my very best wishes at this hard time.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Thank goodness OH was in a care home and people did know what was happening. That meant he died peacefully. One of the few good things about 3 months in a care home!