Dear Sue, I wanted to reply to your last post but couldn’t at the time. I did feel sympathy and empathy concerning being a widow with no supportive caring other half when ‘things happen’, family living a distance away and the feeling alone etc. I could identify with how you felt. There will be others who feel likewise.
But when it came to it your family were there for you, and they do care. So it has been for me also in recent times. As with you, my elder daughter has been tremendous, I don't know what I would have done without her, and my younger daughter, who has many problems, there by phone. Some of the adult grandchildren also have been great.
You are probably right thinking it takes a crisis or urgent happening…. and yes they are busy people with young ones and work pressures, etc. But then when there is a need for their support we see they do love us and care about us just as we do them.
For us there is a huge empty void since losing our life partners and no longer having the huge responsibility of caring for them during their years of illness. Also dementia is one long slow and gradual loss of so much that once was everything - our lives. Probably too much on our own, the being alone and time to think and over-think, and yes at times feel sorry for ourselves when life is difficult. The last thing parents want is to be a burden to our adult children or appear to be needy. Although they probably do not see us as such.
Life will never be the same without our husbands. You have been doing very well since Ray died, doing things, being involved, making the best of your life. Keep on going x. Ray will always be one of the family, as I feel Henry is in our family. They are no longer present in our lives but they will always be our husbands and our children's Dad, and always missed.
Sorry to write so much about this now rather than responding at the time to your previous post. I hope you don't mind... I am somewhat hesitant about posting this...
I am very sorry that you have been through so much this last week or so and I do hope you are healing Sue. Also that you can rest which is not always easy living alone. Be kind to yourself. I hope your family being there for you has been a comfort to you, as it has been to me. For those who are now alone in their lives and have no family it must be so much worse.
Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
With love
Loo xxx
But when it came to it your family were there for you, and they do care. So it has been for me also in recent times. As with you, my elder daughter has been tremendous, I don't know what I would have done without her, and my younger daughter, who has many problems, there by phone. Some of the adult grandchildren also have been great.
You are probably right thinking it takes a crisis or urgent happening…. and yes they are busy people with young ones and work pressures, etc. But then when there is a need for their support we see they do love us and care about us just as we do them.
For us there is a huge empty void since losing our life partners and no longer having the huge responsibility of caring for them during their years of illness. Also dementia is one long slow and gradual loss of so much that once was everything - our lives. Probably too much on our own, the being alone and time to think and over-think, and yes at times feel sorry for ourselves when life is difficult. The last thing parents want is to be a burden to our adult children or appear to be needy. Although they probably do not see us as such.
Life will never be the same without our husbands. You have been doing very well since Ray died, doing things, being involved, making the best of your life. Keep on going x. Ray will always be one of the family, as I feel Henry is in our family. They are no longer present in our lives but they will always be our husbands and our children's Dad, and always missed.
Sorry to write so much about this now rather than responding at the time to your previous post. I hope you don't mind... I am somewhat hesitant about posting this...
I am very sorry that you have been through so much this last week or so and I do hope you are healing Sue. Also that you can rest which is not always easy living alone. Be kind to yourself. I hope your family being there for you has been a comfort to you, as it has been to me. For those who are now alone in their lives and have no family it must be so much worse.
Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
With love
Loo xxx
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