Can't cope with her meanness

[Margarita]

Do love your saying in your signature

I Got a few books along the journey of Caring for mum, as I've been getting ride of a load of Clutter that I have around, as now I am now into feng shui .

I found a few spiritual book I got in Gibraltar while caring for mum out there.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.Buddha

easer said then done Ha!

 

[Ditto]

Greek Islands!!

Dearest Rose,

when you are ready to jet off to the Greek Isles, give me a bell and I'll escape with you.. Sounds like a good plan!!! Yes, as you well know, I have similar issues with my patient. It's a terrible disorder I know..but normal personality DOES make a big difference. I feel so sorry for you and "I UNDERSTAND".

Take care..I'm thinking of you.

Ditto

 

[rose_of_york]

Greek Islands anyone?

I think we should have a two-week trip for faint-hearted carers........

I am absolutely fuming, just got back from mother's weekly trip out in my car. Amongst all the bumpf that is lying around in her house I noticed a receipt from the poshest jeweller in town. I looked at it - it was dated 1981, and was for a necklace of Mikimoto pearls purchased by my father for my mother.

Romantic you might think? But in 1981 I, their only child, was a student at Bradford University. I worked throughout my studies and ever got a penny from my parents. If I ever mention this she always says something like "we didn't have as much money as you think".

I had to say to her today that I thought this was a bit much bearing in mind how I was struggling at the time. The first time she pretended not hear me. So I repeated myself and she said she wasn't responsible for what my father did.

Bearing in mind that the cheapest possible string of Mikimoto pearls that you can buy is about £1500 at today's prices - whatever they cost in 1981 would have gone a long way to help their daughter with her studies.

Then I noticed that her toe nails were in a state and rang a mobile podiatrist to come ans sort her out.

Maybe some of you will understand why I am unwilling and trapped. On second thoughts, anybody up for the Greek island and not going home?

 

[christine_batch]

Dear Rose,
I agree with Syvia 100%. Stand up to your Mother and go for a holiday. What you have been writting about your life - I ask you what life have you really had?
If your Mother was like this long before the illness set in, put yourself first for once.
It will give you so much confidence.
Hoping you make the right decision for you.

Best wishes
Christine

 

[Margaret W]

I'm not sure what to say, except it is so good to find people with demented parents that they aren't madly in love with! I have no personal relationship with my mum. She didn't buy a string of whatever they were pearls, but drank and smoked all her life, so no money for me.

Ah, but, at the end of the day, you have to do what you can, don't you? You won't be happy if you don't do your best.

Strength to you all, and much love.

Margaret

 

[nice]

On the financial front, your mother has AD, you have power of attorney and she has a cash resource, yet you're having to pay for everything and it's stretching you to breaking point as well as having to work with her behaviour.

Her money is a resource, what I have learned is that you have to do whatever you can to make the situation easier. You are doing a job which should, in theory, be paying you handsomely, you are caring for a life.

I'm not saying pillage her coffers, but do use what you need to to cover overheads that go along with caring for her. Never doubt that it's the right thing to do.