My husband has early stage dementia. He still drives a car and has been told to inform dvla. I’ve got the forms and filled some of it in but he’s refusing to sign it. He’s dirty and smelly , won’t bath or change his clothes and lies about it. I’ve been told he’s driven through red lights. Think I’m going to make an issue of it now with his Gp before he kills himself or someone else.
Driving concerns
- Thread starter Maurice 5345
- Start date
@Maurice 5345
Sorry to hear about that, I’m afraid like you that my OH would cause an accident or be involved in one himself, he needed instructions about where he was going and said the sat nav wasn’t loud enough yet he had driven cars and rode motorbikes prior all his life. He was a damn good driver ‘was’being the operative word. As he had designated any decisions to me I’m afraid I got him to sign the form before filling it all in and where it said about illnesses put in about memory problems and had to give details of doctors, then had a word with his consultant about how worried I was about him driving and left the decision with them . Upshot was licence revoked. OH was not best pleased but I would rather that than an accident. He also has serious problems about washing and changing of clothes. So I take old ones away and put clean ready.
Sorry to hear about that, I’m afraid like you that my OH would cause an accident or be involved in one himself, he needed instructions about where he was going and said the sat nav wasn’t loud enough yet he had driven cars and rode motorbikes prior all his life. He was a damn good driver ‘was’being the operative word. As he had designated any decisions to me I’m afraid I got him to sign the form before filling it all in and where it said about illnesses put in about memory problems and had to give details of doctors, then had a word with his consultant about how worried I was about him driving and left the decision with them . Upshot was licence revoked. OH was not best pleased but I would rather that than an accident. He also has serious problems about washing and changing of clothes. So I take old ones away and put clean ready.
I was told by a friend my husband’s driving was terrifying but didn’t know what to do, fortunately he had a small bump and another friend saw it and phoned me and said it had been his fault, I managed to speak to the garage we used and explained the situation and between me and the garage came up with the story that the vehicle wasn’t worth repairing, it was quite old, so he accepted that and that was the end of his driving, the garage sold his vehicle for scrap, a little white lie! Funnily enough I was at the traffic lights the other day and lo and behold the vehicle was in front of me still going strong luckily I was on my own so he will never know as he isn’t in the position now to remember even if he saw it
Yes, and please don't delay. As you rightly say, someone could get killed. Meanwhile, is it possible for you to hide his car keys, or perhaps disable the car? I did this to my mother-in-law's (MIL's) car when she was similarly dangerous. I lifted the bonnet and disconnected the battery lead. It was quite easy to do. My MIL did not have the wherewithal to contact the AA to get it repaired, thankfully. She just eventually accepted it was 'broken', which gave the green light for her son to take it away. The fact that he was able to drive it after it had been 'broken' for so many weeks was way beyond her reasoning powers, fortunately. Within a week or two she had forgotten that she had ever owned a car. Good luck, and please let us know how you get on. xx
Both DVLA and the Insurance Co should be informed. If this isn't done both licence and insurance may be invalid in the event of an accident. The powers that be can then take the matter out of his/your hands.
My wife wanted to continue driving and I just told her that I wouldn't travel in the car as a passenger if she were the driver. She soon forgot about driving.
My wife wanted to continue driving and I just told her that I wouldn't travel in the car as a passenger if she were the driver. She soon forgot about driving.
I never travel in husband's car if he is the driver.
We often use my car, the insurance of which does not allow anyone else to drive but myself.
I've noticed he likes me driving.
Maybe because he feels less reliant on his ability to drive than he was till only some months ago.
Surely because I pay for the petrol...he is so mean (always been
)I'm wondering what to do about my husbands driving too. At the moment he is waiting to have his eyesight checked following a stroke which affected the occipital lobe so is unable to drive. However I'm dreading that the result will be that he's ok to drive. Inter to hear that you were able to speak to consultant so I might try that if need be. He still thinks driving is fine but have had times when he's forgot where he's going and one particularly hairy moment on the motorway when he realised that we were at the junction for home and cut across from outside lane. As others have said I want to do something before he has an accident.
Dad's doctor was helpful too. Told dad he was not to drive again (this was after dad lost the car and I tipped off the doctors receptionist) Always better from a professional.
