Dads new name

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,620
0
While having a rare conversation with my invisible brother and his wife a couple of nights ago I noticed that my sister in law now refers to my dad by his first name. This is completely new and sounded really strange as she always called my parents mum and dad for as long as I can remember, at least 35 years.

I could not have called my in-laws mum and dad to save my life but that is a different story and I had no problem with her calling my parents mum and dad.

I keep thinking about it and I feel dad has been demoted to a mere acquaintance.

I feel I am being petty but it's really really bugged me.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
No perhaps directly relevant to the reason for your thread but quite some time ago Dad went through a stage of querying why I was calling him dad and saying he wasn't. That changed to him not responding when I called him dad so I changed to using his name which worked for a time until he declined beyond that type of communication. As they are invisibles maybe this is a way that she can further distance herself and not using dad fulfils her aim. Like out of sight out of mind....out of familiar name out of having to think about the person as she knew him!
 

Chemmy

Registered User
Nov 7, 2011
7,589
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Yorkshire
I used to call my mum by her first name in the end. Maybe your sister in law now finds your dad responds better that way?

My MIL has only the faintest idea of who I am, and calling her mum, when I'm not her daughter, would just confuse her further. In-laws are a concept too far.
 

DeMartin

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
711
0
Kent
I always called my dad by his first name, we lived close to family and I couldn’t understand why all the kids called him uncle John, so I did too, Mum had some explaining to do!
 

Raggedrobin

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,425
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i have a theory on this. My invisible sister stopped called my parents Mum and Dad and called them Mother and Father. I feel she did this to distance herself from them as she hated them, so Mum and Dad sounded too familiar.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,333
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Victoria, Australia
I never had any parents in law but if I did I would have been very reluctant to call them mum and dad.
I have two sons in law and have never expected them to call me anything but my first name. My daughters never call their parents in law mum and dad but always use first names. I have always considered it to be a fairly trivial tradition and I don't think use of first names shows any disrespect.

Perhaps your SIL has never really been happy calling your dad by that name but can now feel more comfortable to refer to him by his first name.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,620
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i have a theory on this. My invisible sister stopped called my parents Mum and Dad and called them Mother and Father. I feel she did this to distance herself from them as she hated them, so Mum and Dad sounded too familiar.

@Raggedrobin Yes I think distancing is the most likely reason. Calling him by his first name makes him a bit less important than a dad. He is not that bad yet that he has forgotten who he is or who anybody is. I just find it really strange that after all of these years of being Dad and very special he is now just a name like any other person.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,689
0
Just a thought, but you say that the conversation with your brother and sister in law was rare, and it doesn't sound like they have seen your Dad for a while. Perhaps it is usual for her to refer to your Dad by his name when talking with your brother, particularly if she has a Dad of her own? Are you thinking back to when she called your parents Mum & Dad when talking to them? I sometimes refer to people differently when talking to them face to face than when mentioning them to others - for example I refer to my Dad's wife by her name when talking to her but if I mention her to friends she is my Dad's wife - so try not to read too much into it. I'd think it a bit odd if your SIL always called him Dad to his face then suddenly started talking to him using his name but from the sounds of it that isn't what's happening.
 

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