Newbie here :)

[Deexox]

Hey everyone,

My name is Debbie and I'm 20. In 2004 my granda was diagnosed with Alzheimers and he has steadily gotten worse. A year and a half ago we couldn't care for him at home anymore so we put him into a home. We still do his washing and put him to bed etc but its just not the same as having him here. I joined this forum because my friends just don't understand when I talk to them, they see his condition as he's in the home now why are you so worried? They don't understand why I get so upset on those few precious moments when he comes back and does something simple like remember my name or tells me he loves me. So I was hoping the people on this forum would understand. And I would like to offer my support as well. Wow thats a long introduction.
Looking forward to chatting.

Dee xoxoxox

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Debbie

I hope you`ll find everyone on Talking Point [TP] will understand why you are so worried about your grandfather, even if he is in a home.
Just the fact you still do his washing and put him to bed shows how much you want to stay involved in his care.
Welcome to TP. You will be well supported here.
Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Helo Dee

It sounds like your granda is lucky to have such a loving family. I am glad you still have those special moments when granda remembers your name I can only say that I hope Talking Point offers you the support you need and that you will find plenty of people to chat to.

Love

 

[Skye]

Hi Dee, welcome to TP

Of course you still worry about your granda, you always will. My husband is also in a home, and I worry about him all the time.

And I know what you mean about those moments when he recognises you, and says he loves you, they brighten up the whole day. John can't talk any more, but a smile is enough for me now.

Come and talk to us whenever you like, we all understand.

Love,

 

[bert]

hi there debbie and welcome to TP. im fairly new myself , i only joined about 10 days ago. im 34 and live with my 78 yr old dad who has got dementia. i know what you mean about people understanding, but its different on the outside looking in. theres times when i get really fed up and in the past ive spoke (or ranted!) about the situation to friends and family, however since i joined TP ive definitely found things easier as everyone here is in the same boat. im sure you'll feel the same

all the best

bert

 

[Hilary K]

Enjoy every minute you can

Hi Debbie

My Mum's got vascular dementia and has been in a home since the beginning of April.

I'm trying to "grab" every single moment when Mum is how she was for over 40 years of my life. The glimpses are fleeting and one of my friends likened it to a train passing. It's here, then its gone so quickly. I want to make the most of any seconds of lucidity she has.

I can completely understand how you feel.

I sleep on my own in a double bed and every night I wish Mum was laid next to me, asleep, safe, warm and above all loved. She can't be there though and maybe if she was she wouldn't feel all the security I want for her.

I'm sure she knows how much I love her but it's the hardest thing I've had to face and more importantly it must be the hardest thing Mum's ever had to face, in her reality.

Your're doing your utmost, never forget.

Hilary

 

[Deexox]

Thanks for your replies

Hey every1 thanks for ur replies. The forum seems really supportive so I'm looking forward to getting to know every1
Thanks again,

Dee xoxoxoxox

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Dee:

Just read your post and wanted to say welcome. Please keep posting - we share the 'good and bad' here!
Love Jan

 

[Taffy]

Hello Dee and welcome to TP,

I joined this forum because my friends just don't understand when I talk to them, they see his condition as he's in the home now why are you so worried?

This attitude is very common and unless you have or are personally taking the dementia journey it's hard for others to comprehend. I'm sure you'll get the support you need here and your friends will support you in other ways. Love Taffy.

 

[Tarika]

The only one

Hello Dee,
yes I know thta feeling. I just wish I could have mum at home with me and hold her and comfort her. Unfortunately , her needs are too severe to be nursed at home. I miss her so much but I'm having tocome to terms with the fact that I can't meet her needs.
Love Tarika