Mum, 97, in palliative care.
- Thread starter Marcelle123
- Start date
Wot Beate said!
An air pressure mattress is a thing of wonder, it has alternating pressure cells, like a ripple effect, so that no one area of the body is subjected to gravity and pressure sores are non-existant/minimised, but Carers do need to turn the person frequently also, for comfort and with an eye to reducing pressure on "bony" areas. Your Mum should be very comfortable.
I'm not surprised you have lost your momentum, it's you who has been on the spot making decisions, you're probably tired out.
An air pressure mattress is a thing of wonder, it has alternating pressure cells, like a ripple effect, so that no one area of the body is subjected to gravity and pressure sores are non-existant/minimised, but Carers do need to turn the person frequently also, for comfort and with an eye to reducing pressure on "bony" areas. Your Mum should be very comfortable.
I'm not surprised you have lost your momentum, it's you who has been on the spot making decisions, you're probably tired out.
Thank you, nitram, Prudence and nita.
The doctor’s recommendations have now been carried out. At eleven o’clock this morning, a district nurse set up a syringe driver to deliver doses of midazolam (a calmative), diamorphine (pain relief) and an anti-emetic ( to counter queasiness caused by morphine). A nurse has also said she'll try to speed up the recommendation that Mum get an airflow mattress to guard against pressure sores – my sister is keeping her eye on these.
Mum is calmer, but her breathing is laboured, and unfortunately she hasn’t been alert enough to be able to swallow food or drink today – it is pooling in her mouth, and would be dangerous if she can’t swallow.
I am keeping out of my sister's way as it is better for Mum (who’s very tired) and for the carers to be dealing with one member of the family at a time, but my sister is emailing me or phoning me at regular intervals to keep me abreast, and I am ready to go in if Mum is in immediate danger.
My sister goes home tomorrow afternoon – or that was her plan originally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PS I did pop in briefly this afternoon and had a small talk with my sister, who pointed out that Mum is now on the airflow mattress. She had wondered if oxygen therapy would help, but the district nurse said it wouldn't help at this point. Mum was breathing heavily and not very aware, but more peaceful than when I saw her last.
The doctor’s recommendations have now been carried out. At eleven o’clock this morning, a district nurse set up a syringe driver to deliver doses of midazolam (a calmative), diamorphine (pain relief) and an anti-emetic ( to counter queasiness caused by morphine). A nurse has also said she'll try to speed up the recommendation that Mum get an airflow mattress to guard against pressure sores – my sister is keeping her eye on these.
Mum is calmer, but her breathing is laboured, and unfortunately she hasn’t been alert enough to be able to swallow food or drink today – it is pooling in her mouth, and would be dangerous if she can’t swallow.
I am keeping out of my sister's way as it is better for Mum (who’s very tired) and for the carers to be dealing with one member of the family at a time, but my sister is emailing me or phoning me at regular intervals to keep me abreast, and I am ready to go in if Mum is in immediate danger.
My sister goes home tomorrow afternoon – or that was her plan originally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PS I did pop in briefly this afternoon and had a small talk with my sister, who pointed out that Mum is now on the airflow mattress. She had wondered if oxygen therapy would help, but the district nurse said it wouldn't help at this point. Mum was breathing heavily and not very aware, but more peaceful than when I saw her last.
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Good to see your update, Marcelle. Hope you managed some rest last night.
Hope your mum can continue to stay calm and free of pain and distress. Thinking of you.
Hope your mum can continue to stay calm and free of pain and distress. Thinking of you.
They are doing all the right things for your Mum, Marcelle. They will probably also give her hyoscine for drying up secretions from her mouth. (I read about this on TP.) Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but wait; it is very hard. Your Mum sounds peaceful though, which is good.
We were called by the Care Home this morning to say that Mum had deteriorated. We went up & sat with my sister for an hour, then went home, ready to come and take over from my sister when she went back to Yorkshire. But my sister rang to say that she thought Mum was in danger and she was arranging to stay on another night, so we went up to the home after lunch.
We got there ten minutes before my mother passed away, peacefully and without pain. My sister and I told her that we loved her and that she'd been a good mother. She died so peacefully that I didn't even notice it. My sister cancelled her room for tonight and set off back up to Yorkshire, after we'd sat with Mum for an hour, waiting for the doctor to come to certify death.
John and I sat on a while longer, and then the doctor came. The carers at the care home have been wonderful. They have telephoned a local undertaker's and are waiting to have Mum's body taken to a chapel of rest.
I think all the organisation will probably have to wait until Monday, as it's impossible to organise anything on a Friday night. My lovely husband has made a list of what we need to do and has got the documents together.
I am feeling very numb but also heavily sad - pleased, though, that Mum didn't linger for days or weeks as I think can sometimes happen, and that she passed peacefully and without pain while my sister was visiting, and that John and I were there too.
Thank you for all the support that you've given me on this thread.
Love to you all. xx
We got there ten minutes before my mother passed away, peacefully and without pain. My sister and I told her that we loved her and that she'd been a good mother. She died so peacefully that I didn't even notice it. My sister cancelled her room for tonight and set off back up to Yorkshire, after we'd sat with Mum for an hour, waiting for the doctor to come to certify death.
John and I sat on a while longer, and then the doctor came. The carers at the care home have been wonderful. They have telephoned a local undertaker's and are waiting to have Mum's body taken to a chapel of rest.
I think all the organisation will probably have to wait until Monday, as it's impossible to organise anything on a Friday night. My lovely husband has made a list of what we need to do and has got the documents together.
I am feeling very numb but also heavily sad - pleased, though, that Mum didn't linger for days or weeks as I think can sometimes happen, and that she passed peacefully and without pain while my sister was visiting, and that John and I were there too.
Thank you for all the support that you've given me on this thread.
Love to you all. xx
I'm so sorry, Marcelle. You read my thread so you'll know the process. You'll need the medical certificate from the doctor to obtain a death certificate from the registry office. Everything else comes after, but take your time to grieve.
It's probably good that the end was quick - just like with John.
It's probably good that the end was quick - just like with John.
Oh, Marcelle, I am so sad to hear your update. I am glad that you were all able to be with your mother at the end.
The numbness is not uncommon. Do what you can, and please try to be kind to yourself and look after yourself as best as you can manage right now.
Please accept my condolences. We are all thinking of you.
The numbness is not uncommon. Do what you can, and please try to be kind to yourself and look after yourself as best as you can manage right now.
Please accept my condolences. We are all thinking of you.
So pleased your mum passed peacefully and that you and your sister both had the chance to be with her and tell her you loved her.
Be reassured she is safe and out of all the badness of the world.
Concentrate on you now and just go with whatever feels right for you.
Will pray for you again tonight much love. Hugs.
Be reassured she is safe and out of all the badness of the world.
Concentrate on you now and just go with whatever feels right for you.
Will pray for you again tonight much love. Hugs.
Thank you, everyone, for your kindness; also for your prayers.
Mum's been taken to the chapel of rest now.
The funeral directors will get in touch with us on Monday.
Tomorrow we'll take everything home from Mum's room at the care home.
I had many happy visits with her over the past year, and in some ways drew closer to her than I ever have been.
Now I don't have to worry about her any more. She was a loving mother to six children, who survived the loss of my father by half her lifetime - 48 years. Also a beloved grandmother, and great-grandmother.
She'll be loved and remembered for a very long time.
Mum's been taken to the chapel of rest now.
The funeral directors will get in touch with us on Monday.
Tomorrow we'll take everything home from Mum's room at the care home.
I had many happy visits with her over the past year, and in some ways drew closer to her than I ever have been.
Now I don't have to worry about her any more. She was a loving mother to six children, who survived the loss of my father by half her lifetime - 48 years. Also a beloved grandmother, and great-grandmother.
She'll be loved and remembered for a very long time.
I am sorry, Marcelle. Wishing you peace in the sad days ahead. I too had a feeling of relief that my Mum was no longer suffering. Eventually you will remember her as she was when she was well. I am afraid that, as it was for me at Christmas last year, things will be delayed but rely on your husband to take over the official side as far as possible. Thinking of you.
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