Need advise on dealing with getting time to myself.
My 86 year old mother has early stages Alzheimer's. Still not officially diagnosed but presenting all the symptoms (my father passed away from it 3 years ago, so we recognize the signs).
I have moved back to England after 37 years in Canada to care for my mother. However I need to still have a life of my own. I am 55, single woman.
My problem is that whenever I go out and leave my mum alone (she's perfectly ok alone for now). She gets herself worked up into a frantic panic that I'm not coming back. That I don't care and that I'm leaving her alone. When I return, she goes into a rage of resentment, yelling and screaming that I don't care and to get out of her house. The first time it happened, I packed my bags and left. I was only gone for about 3 hours when she called me to apologize. I came home. The next day, she did it again (I had gone to the cinema). She again apologized about 6 hours later.
I stay home with her Monday through Friday, and need to spend time away on the weekends. When I come home on Sunday's she accuses me of being gone for weeks, she calls family and friends complaining that she hasn't seen me in weeks (even though its only been 1 day). Fortunately they understand the situation, and pretty much ignore her accusations.
Can anyone advise me on how to get her to see or understand that I need this time away. She looked after my father for 4 years and should understand. But her current mental health won't allow it.
Thanks anyone...
Kathryn
My 86 year old mother has early stages Alzheimer's. Still not officially diagnosed but presenting all the symptoms (my father passed away from it 3 years ago, so we recognize the signs).
I have moved back to England after 37 years in Canada to care for my mother. However I need to still have a life of my own. I am 55, single woman.
My problem is that whenever I go out and leave my mum alone (she's perfectly ok alone for now). She gets herself worked up into a frantic panic that I'm not coming back. That I don't care and that I'm leaving her alone. When I return, she goes into a rage of resentment, yelling and screaming that I don't care and to get out of her house. The first time it happened, I packed my bags and left. I was only gone for about 3 hours when she called me to apologize. I came home. The next day, she did it again (I had gone to the cinema). She again apologized about 6 hours later.
I stay home with her Monday through Friday, and need to spend time away on the weekends. When I come home on Sunday's she accuses me of being gone for weeks, she calls family and friends complaining that she hasn't seen me in weeks (even though its only been 1 day). Fortunately they understand the situation, and pretty much ignore her accusations.
Can anyone advise me on how to get her to see or understand that I need this time away. She looked after my father for 4 years and should understand. But her current mental health won't allow it.
Thanks anyone...
Kathryn