Worried about Mother's delusions

[SteveV]

I posted a few weeks ago that I was concerned about my mother having long conversations with invisible people and not being able to differentiate between her dreams and reality. Although distressing, it was behaviour I could cope with. Now she has started accusing me of being in her bedroom at night and 'following' her round the house even when I am out shopping or running some other errand. Apparently I have a 'gadget' that allows me to be in two places at once...

Obviously I am more concerned that this represents a deterioration in her mental state but I am also worried that if her accusations get more personal e.g. I am stealing money from her or, god forbid, molesting her in some way, that it may escalate to the point that she tries to convince her carers or a GP that these things are really happening and it would only be my word against hers that nothing untoward has been going on.

I have arranged to see a GP to discuss her condition, and a Dementia Consultant is coming to the house today to assess her but I am still worried that I might have to defend myself against totally unfounded accusations now or in future.

Has anyone else been through a similar situation?

 

[karaokePete]

Does your mum have Alzheimer's? My wife has 'A' and was having similar problems at night or in the early morning. Memantine was added to her Donepezil and this eased the problem, although it didn't resolve it 100%.

 

[SteveV]

Does your mum have Alzheimer's? My wife has 'A' and was having similar problems at night or in the early morning. Memantine was added to her Donepezil and this eased the problem, although it didn't resolve it 100%.

My mum has had two strokes and a bad fall in the house where she fractured her skull so it is more like actual brain damage than Alzheimers. She does not take any kind of medication related to the disease but then again she has never had an assessment. I hope the Dementia Consultant will be able to advise the right course of action.

 

[Cat27]

Write down all your concerns & hand it to the consultant when you let him in.

 

[donal_ireland]

Psychosis (defined by impaired reality testing, delusions, and hallucinations) are common experiences in dementia. My mum heard the doorbell ring every day at 5am, called me panicking the house was on fire (when it was just flashing xmas lights, and is now convinced her best friend works as a nurse in her nursing home but is ignoring her). It is really upsetting (especially as the delusions are related to you). Medication can reduce the intensity of psychosis in dementia.

 

[Nebiroth]

My suggestion would be to write everything down, and to discuss it with your mum'sGP and carers.

Do not be overly concerned that her accusations will be taken seriously. Accusations of the sort you mention are extremely common from someone with dementia - they are usually the consequence of confusion, for example, money may be hidden away, or even thrown awa, forgotten, then the person cannot find it. In their minds the logical conclusion is that it has been stolen, and these suspiscions are aimed at whoever happens to be around, no matter how irrationally unlikely they are to have been the thief.

Although you say your mum has had multiple strokes and a skull fracture, if her mental state is deteriorating then there is likely some ongoing cause for this.

Note that dementia is a very broad term and is not a disease but rather a number of related symptoms. However, it is also possible your mum has some other illness whereupon she does actually see you, in other words a hallucination, or a delusion, that is a false belief. Both can also be a symptom of a disease liek Alzheimer's or vascular dementia (a series of ongoing minor strokes which do not necessarily cause obvious symptoms when they happen)

The dementia specialist will be able to determine this, mainly by examing your mum's mental state, her change sin mental state, and normally physical tests to rule out conditions like a B12 deficiency that can mimic dementia.

When my dad had Alzheimer's he made endless false accusations against us, our neighbors etc, at one point accusin gmum of having an affair with me!

 

[mom's carer]

Agree with suggestions by others. Mainly write down what is happening (dated and timed if possible) so that you can pass the information on to the professionals.
My mother was accusing my sister-in-law of poisoning her and taking money - non of which was true. I was so worried she would accuse me that I always made sure that she could see what I was doing when making her cups of tea, even though it meant carrying the kettle about so she could see.
She even rang the police at one point. who visited her. I received a call asking me to call round to my mother's. You can imagine my worries as I hurried to her house not knowing what the problems were. The police were marvellous, understanding straight away that my mother had problems with "A" and suggesting various people / organisations to contact and methods to help with looking after my mother. They also registered (I think that was the term) my mother as being a vulnerable person with their control. Eventually Mom stopped the accusations, I think she had forgotten.
As Mom progressed (deteriorated) she also began seeing things and people but luckily they did not frighten her. I tried to adopt a method of not confronting her (and saying there's no one there) and just assuring her that whoever she was seeing was just checking that she was ok and that seemed to keep her happy.

 

[Kikki21]

Yes the delusions seem to be very common & my mum also has them too. Her memory has deteriorated very badly indeed.