Apologies in advance, but I just need to sound off so I can mentally tick off my frustration and get on with things.
I just find it so challenging that my brother can't see that my mum has real problems. She's lonely, gets confused, only has stuff in her fridge and freezer to eat because I "accidentally" over-buy milk, ham etc. and take her casseroles and other meals. He's siding with her because she doesn't like the carers coming in, even when I explain that them being there twice a week gives me a day off so I can sort out the other admin - GP and foot appointments, hairdressers etc . Even when I said, "Actually, it's so I can find out if she's alive or not" he still didn't get it! And to cap it all, we always have Christmas together as we're a small family (we don't have children) and this year he and his wife are going to their daughter and son-in-law as they have recently bought a new house - and we're not invited in case it's too noisy for mum! So it will just me, my husband and my lovely but confused mum. In my head I say "Dad would be turning in his grave because you can't even be bothered to see your mum on Christmas Day" but I don't because he'll turn it round and act all hurt.
Thanks for listening. I know all of this is so familiar to nearly everyone trying to do their best for their partner/parents but I just wish other family members would realise the emotional strain the caring puts on us, made worse by thoughtless relatives who can't/won't provide support.
I just find it so challenging that my brother can't see that my mum has real problems. She's lonely, gets confused, only has stuff in her fridge and freezer to eat because I "accidentally" over-buy milk, ham etc. and take her casseroles and other meals. He's siding with her because she doesn't like the carers coming in, even when I explain that them being there twice a week gives me a day off so I can sort out the other admin - GP and foot appointments, hairdressers etc . Even when I said, "Actually, it's so I can find out if she's alive or not" he still didn't get it! And to cap it all, we always have Christmas together as we're a small family (we don't have children) and this year he and his wife are going to their daughter and son-in-law as they have recently bought a new house - and we're not invited in case it's too noisy for mum! So it will just me, my husband and my lovely but confused mum. In my head I say "Dad would be turning in his grave because you can't even be bothered to see your mum on Christmas Day" but I don't because he'll turn it round and act all hurt.
Thanks for listening. I know all of this is so familiar to nearly everyone trying to do their best for their partner/parents but I just wish other family members would realise the emotional strain the caring puts on us, made worse by thoughtless relatives who can't/won't provide support.
