Tin - good to hear there's some relief on the night time incontinence. I am still using the industrial 'nappy' pads, but now have the 'luxury' of being able to put them on mum while she's standing, so I think we are getting them lined up and positioned a bit better. Because I'm able to toilet mum on the commode and on the normal loo now, she at least goes in the day time, so it doesn't all sit waiting to come out at night, which is what was happening before. The pads are still wet, but not as full as before. I might downgrade to slightly smaller ones. Although mum is now walking, albeit a bit shakily, with a frame, she is unable to get out of bed on her own. She sleeps most nights (thank God!) but sometimes starts shaking the bedsides around 6 am (she's on a hospital bed), so I do something similar to you - put her on the commode, change the pad, and put her back to bed, then make myself a cuppa and go back to bed and put the radio on. Finding this 'me time' is crucial for me. I also get a bit of down time in the evenings, as the carer calls can be any time from 1930 to 2130, so once we have put mum to bed, I try to find something to watch on TV to take my mind somewhere else. I am still finding the stretchy/fixation pants to be a good idea for mum, so once I have used up the tonnes of Tena slips supplied by the NHS (which are too thin, but can be used with a booster pad), I'll be looking at options for pads to use with those.
One thing that helps me is keeping a daily write up of when she goes on the loo, whether pad is wet or not, whether she has a wee or not, large or small - this helps to build up a picture of how her bladder is working and helps me decide what type of pad to use next! I have a diuretic to contend with too, but now tend to give that in the morning and she generally 'flushes out' within two to three hours of that (definitely in a thicker pad then, just in case!).
The trial and error of this can be hard, but worth trying different options and satisfying when you find something that works. I would never have thought of wrapping the incontinence sheet between the pad and mum's nightie, but that really used to help in saving the nightie and bed linen from getting soaked.