Carers who will be alone with their PWD at Christmas
- Thread starter Selinacroft
- Start date
Call me old fashioned @Lawson58, (I was born in the 60s), but in a way it's a shame everything in life is so easily available now, I don't think people appreciate what they have. I also remember making paper chains from coloured paper and in fact I still have some very, very ancient Christmas decorations which belonged to my father - they must have been bought in the 60s/50s. I don't think I will ever throw them away - yet even though they are so old, they are so colourful still! I don't use them - just look at them each year when I get the box out.
My mum, before dementia caught hold of her, used to tell me stories about their Christmases 'back home', how they used things from nature to decorate the tree and also how they used to bake biscuits to tie on. She also used to tell me about some 'flickering candles' they used to attach to the branches - they can't have been battery operated as I'm sure they would not have been around then - maybe they were real candles. Imagine that being allowed in this day and age!
I think progress is great, but we've lost a lot of what used to be good in life. Maybe I'm just old enough now to reminisce about the 'good old days'!
I will be taking my wife (PWD) to our youngest son's house for Christmas Dinner. We did the same last year and he picked us up (it's about 20 min drive) and my DIL drove us home later (she tends not to drink). Our eldest son (he's divorced) came too with our grandson, so it was a nice day.
To be honest, it wouldn't bother me if we were on our own but I think the kids don't like the thought of this, even though I have said so. I do think it's nice for them (and the grand kids) to see their mum, whilst she is still able to get out and about, albeit it is tinged with sadness as to how things used to be?
Since her diagnosis, we've drastically reduced the amount of decorations etc we put out - she was always the driving force in getting the place festive - I am more of a "humbug" myself.
So its a case of a smallish pop-up tree (comes complete with lights and decoration), Christmas card holders and some Christmas candles. Simples.
Merry Christmas.
Phil
PS - I now hate New Year's Eve! (Ever since my wife was first diagnosed and on leaving a NYE's event, my brother-in-law's last words were "not going to be a very good year for you?" Cried my eyes out on the walk home!).
To be honest, it wouldn't bother me if we were on our own but I think the kids don't like the thought of this, even though I have said so. I do think it's nice for them (and the grand kids) to see their mum, whilst she is still able to get out and about, albeit it is tinged with sadness as to how things used to be?
Since her diagnosis, we've drastically reduced the amount of decorations etc we put out - she was always the driving force in getting the place festive - I am more of a "humbug" myself.
So its a case of a smallish pop-up tree (comes complete with lights and decoration), Christmas card holders and some Christmas candles. Simples.
Merry Christmas.
Phil
PS - I now hate New Year's Eve! (Ever since my wife was first diagnosed and on leaving a NYE's event, my brother-in-law's last words were "not going to be a very good year for you?" Cried my eyes out on the walk home!).
Like last year we will be in Cyprus. My wife hasn't deteriorated too much so we will probably do the same as last year - buy some festive goodies and spend the day inside making pigs of ourselves, apart from an afternoon stroll on what is likely to be a mild day with a temperature of 17-19C!!
I intend to keep our winters abroad going for as long as possible and that my be for longer than I thought a few months back as my wife is, thankfully, responding very well to the medication she is now taking. Fingers crossed anyway!
I intend to keep our winters abroad going for as long as possible and that my be for longer than I thought a few months back as my wife is, thankfully, responding very well to the medication she is now taking. Fingers crossed anyway!
I just hope it will be dry. I'll cook something a bit different, like German style potato pancakes and whatever WRose have that looks appetising. OH will probably sleep all afternoon and tv will be for children only, not that she follows it anyway. I should really scour HMV and the charity shops for old musicals and music DVDs to keep us going in the wet cold desert of yuletide.
So many plans scuppered by UTIs and only have cold wet weather to look forward to, bah humbug.
So many plans scuppered by UTIs and only have cold wet weather to look forward to, bah humbug.
I was thinking, how is that going to cheer Rob up? (Scotland results) Then I remembered. Oops!
I’m sorry about Christel too. There seems to be so much mention of UTI’s here...does it go with dementia or is it coincidental? I thought Christel was better? Or did she get another? And hey...you live in Bristol. It is always cold and wet. You gotta laugh....or you might cry.
But if you do cry...we will be right there with a box of tissues for you.
I’m sorry about Christel too. There seems to be so much mention of UTI’s here...does it go with dementia or is it coincidental? I thought Christel was better? Or did she get another? And hey...you live in Bristol. It is always cold and wet. You gotta laugh....or you might cry.
But if you do cry...we will be right there with a box of tissues for you.
Thanks Izzy. I half watched it, good attacking and terrible defending.
The UTI has gone, but Christel is still very confused and driving me nuts after looking like she was back to normal on Wednesday. Ups and downs, Amethyst. I should be used to it by now.
The UTI has gone, but Christel is still very confused and driving me nuts after looking like she was back to normal on Wednesday. Ups and downs, Amethyst. I should be used to it by now.
Christmas is a day when people shar the day not all the trimings. So why not have an alternative day. Watch to and eat junk food enjoy the day xxx
I agree, it’s a day arbitrary decided to celebrate the birth of Christ.
So there is no reason why you as a family cannot celebrate on 6 January, for instance, the day of the visit of the Magi (if I remember right)
Less traffic, world back to “normal” (and a second round of turkey etc)
I think some of the old fashioned things show how much our values have changed over the years, sometimes for the better but not always.
I was born during the war so I'm probably even more old fashioned than you. It took years for rationing to finish after the war was over so we were very good at using whatever was available. We were a large family so money wasn't plentiful and we really became quite creative and of course without modern technology, we had acres of time to devote to dressing up our Christmas tree. It was also something we did as children together and the tradition was that my oldest brother would hold up the littlest (me) to put the star on the top of the tree when it was all done.
We could not have hung biscuits on our tree because they would have been eaten as soon as they were hung but we used to ride our bikes out into the bush and collect bags full of gum nuts. We would use leftover paint to colour them and then decorate them with silver paint.
My granddaughter loves hearing stories about my childhood but she cringed when I told her about my brothers chopping off the heads of two of our chickens for Christmas dinner. We all used to help in plucking them and it was kind of a morbid fun when the little feathers would get stuck on your face .
That was the only time of the year that we ate chicken as eggs had been so scarce during the war that as long as a chicken was still laying, it survived. Yep, you guessed it - the chickens we ate at Christmas were probably as tough as old boots but I thought they were delicious.
To Marnie, Canary and all others
This year again it’s me and my PWD. It’s going to be just us for Christmas and I am taking her out for lunch on Boxing Day - no where fancy just our local pub where we are known. Would be nice if the invisible part of the family would phone just once in a while but then again it’s become easier to manage the anger without them.
Thank the LORD FOR Prosecco
This year again it’s me and my PWD. It’s going to be just us for Christmas and I am taking her out for lunch on Boxing Day - no where fancy just our local pub where we are known. Would be nice if the invisible part of the family would phone just once in a while but then again it’s become easier to manage the anger without them.
Thank the LORD FOR Prosecco
Thanks for that. i have heard that combined treatment can be more effective. OH is only on 5mg donepizil, 10mg was too much and made him verbally aggressive. He is also on a trial, but I suspect getting placebo (or its just not working).
Dad started on 5mg of donezepril and then was increased to 10mg about 1-1.5 year later.
Dad hit mid stage this summer and his geriatrician added memantine and he was in a 4 week step up (25%, 50%, 75% 100%) with the Sandoz generic version of Memantine and 2nd day on full dose when he had a stroke.
Confusion and drowsiness / diziness are known side effects of Sandoz-Memantine and I had to fight with the residents (it is a teaching hospital) to roll dad off the Memantine and get to his last known stable baseline of medication. After Dad was rolled off to half, he spoke his first coherant words and when he was rolled off completely, he was able to joke with nurses and sit up for 5-6 hours before getting laid low by Staph. infection.
There were a couple of other times dad did not take to an increase in dose of some medications well. They stepped him down and waited before increasing rather than 4 weeks on half dose then to full dose. I did a project for a generic drug manufacturers and they do not do enough testing to know all the potential side effect and drug combination effects..
So talk to your doctor if there are side effects or things you are not happy with. They can change the phasing in or try for another medication.
Dad hit mid stage this summer and his geriatrician added memantine and he was in a 4 week step up (25%, 50%, 75% 100%) with the Sandoz generic version of Memantine and 2nd day on full dose when he had a stroke.
Confusion and drowsiness / diziness are known side effects of Sandoz-Memantine and I had to fight with the residents (it is a teaching hospital) to roll dad off the Memantine and get to his last known stable baseline of medication. After Dad was rolled off to half, he spoke his first coherant words and when he was rolled off completely, he was able to joke with nurses and sit up for 5-6 hours before getting laid low by Staph. infection.
There were a couple of other times dad did not take to an increase in dose of some medications well. They stepped him down and waited before increasing rather than 4 weeks on half dose then to full dose. I did a project for a generic drug manufacturers and they do not do enough testing to know all the potential side effect and drug combination effects..
So talk to your doctor if there are side effects or things you are not happy with. They can change the phasing in or try for another medication.
My wife is on 10mg Donepezil and just reached the 20mg dose on Memantine last week after the usual 4 week intro. She has tolerated both drugs well and I see a definite, if very slight, improvement since she got to about 15mg of the Memantine. We are both hoping that the combination will hold back the progression for a while - fingers crossed anyway!
Christmas Day likely to be on our own with a visit from daughter her partner and their babies then Boxing Day son will be picking us up for lunch at theirs, it’s an hours journey away so he will be totally tired by the time he takes us back home. So Christmas sorted.
