Just a bad day

[Daisy pie]

I've had a bad day with my Mom today, she started off saying she didn't feel right, she felt confused just after getting up, then she was upset and crying for a few hours worring about a Biopsy she should have had done on Saturday, no amount of trying to reassure her helped. Then she spent ages telling me she wanted my Brother she feels safe with him, and inbetween all this she kept telling me she wanted to go home why won't I take her home she doesn't live in this place and I was cruel to keep her there.

Then a bit later we move on to why was I there I was nobody to her! (My Mom thinks I am not her daughter) I had stolen her things (one sock and one shoe) I was a liar and she wanted me out of her house!
I was still in my Pjamas but she told me I could get dressed outside (not a pretty sight for the neighbours) then she started to get violent with me hitting, kicking and pinching me, I manage to get into my bedroom and lock the door my Mom starts kicking the door threatening to get the police. I manage to get dressed and start to leave but she doesn't want me to leave her as she is frightened to be on her own so back in we go.

I make her two another bowl of porridge because the first one had gone cold but she won't eat it, every drink I made tasted wrong and I had made it that way on purpose. I was nasty to her and everything was my fault, I was starving the dog because I wouldn't give him anymore food (because he had already had plenty to eat)
She didn't want to go out because it was too cold but she wanted to go my Brothers (who wasn't there he was at work) this got turned round later to I wouldn't take her out, I was a vile pig why was I so nasty to her? this went on into early evening till I couldn't take any more and go and lock myself in my bedroom feeling like I want to scream. After a short while my Mom calls me, my SIL wants to talk to me (Mom had phoned her and told her she was shut in the living room and couldn't get out and I was locked in the bathroom! She finally calmed down about 7pm
Please make tomorrow a better day! or the men in white coats may need to come and take me away

 

[karaokePete]

I hope tomorrow is better for you.
I get this sort of rubbish from my wife too so I think it's par for the course. What a horrible condition is dementia.

 

[Onmyown]

Gosh what a horrible day you've had. So sorry. My mum is not that bad yet? But if it helps I've just come back from a wks break and my mum can't say enough good things about my sister who was here for one week her second week here in year!!!! I too am locked in my bedroom screaming my head off. And this get worse? God help us all...

 

[LynneMcV]

What a horrible day for you. Well done for managing it so well, it's never easy is it?

 

[DollyBird16]

@Daisy pie
What a day, really tough in you. We get the same with Mum but not all day events like you’ve been through.
Thank you for sharing it really helps to read learn how you manage and take a deep breath in readiness for what may come.
I’m so hoping today is more peaceful for you. x

 

[Fullticket]

You make me feel humble Daisy Pie, you got it all in one go and you coped. I seriously think that if that lot was thrown at me all in one day I would be calling the family meeting.

 

[HillyBilly]

Well done for coping with all that @Daisy pie! You've come out the other side and I hope that today is a better day for you. Do you have any support or help in place to relieve you of some of this? x

 

[Selinacroft]

Hi Daisy pie,
I hope you feel better just for sharing all that. I'm sorry you've had such a wrotten time but it is so helpful to share these experiences so we don't feel alone. Family and invisibles never quite "get it", you have to be a carer yourself to appreciate the demands on bad days.

 

[SAMLANC]

Hi. I cannot help you but if it raises a smile I play hide and seek daily, the latest are all the pan lids from the kitchen, a pack of donuts and her bottom set of teeth which she thought she had swallowed................ it is so, so difficult especially the personality change from mum to someone almost taken over her body. Take care

 

[Onmyown]

I really wish I knew the answer to that. My sister was here for a week and mum can't praise her enough? Sister is a narcissist and only cares about her inheritance comes home twice a year and throws money at mum but doesn't contribute anything all year round. I had to have a bath to calm down as I can't listen to my poor mum thinking that she's a better daughter than me. It's very hard and you have to keep telling yourself that you are here and you care and try to ignore the craziness even when it's cruel. My sister couldn't careless that mum is slowly dying of an awful disease it's all about"her".

 

[Daisy pie]

Thank you to all of you for your replies it was defiantly therapeutic to write it all down, it feels good to know people on here understand how dificult it is to cope with days like that.
Wednesday was a better day, still some bursts of nastiness from Mom but not as bad as Tuesday. I defiantly felt the effects from that day though, the muscles in my back were in knots and I also had a very bad headache all day.
Although I care for my mom I am lucky that my Brother and SL do help me and I don't think I would of got this far without their help. When my Mom thinks I am not her daughter it causes her to react badly, sometimes violently to me because I am a stranger in her house, and her daughter is somewhere else. They help by coming over to help calm her down, and they will look after her if I have an appointment.
I have been caring for my Mom for about 17 months now and don't get much of a break but it is affecting me mentally and physically now and at times find it hard to cope. My Mom is totally against any help (she thinks she is ok there is nothing wrong with her) but I have managed with the help of the care agency to introduce someone coming in once a week for an hour, we had to tell my Mom they are from the GP, part of new scheme they are running to check on patients, we had the third visit yesterday seems to be going ok