Hi everybody,
just need a quick rant.
my Mother has mixed dementia and is 88. My 15 year old son,husband and myself live under the same roof and it is hell.
Every day I just wish she would die because my life would be so much easier.
She was always a controlling manipulative woman, who had a knack of getting her own way, and has always used emotional blackmail on me, which does not work with my menfolk, which gives rise to huge tensions.She hates them and they hate her, and I am stuck in the middle.
I work full time and she goes to day care 2 days a week. But I loath living with her, dread hearing her voice, resent her intrusion on my life, which is really busy and creative, and do not want to have to be her prime carer. Unfortunately we live in her house and can not afford to move anywhere else owing to crippling debt. My brother in the UK does nothing because she has always been hurtful and distant to him and her granddaughters who she never really acknowledged.
I am 46 and feel my time being stolen from me by her. I can not get away - respite is too expensive, and frankly once I escape I dread coming back again.
This woman has haunted me all my life and still refuses to let go and I am so angry with her.
I try and do my best as a "caring" daughter, but honestly, as I said, I just can't wait until she dies, but she will probably hold on as long as possible just to spite me. I am impatient, shout at her, do not want to communicate, all in all I am sick of it. And she is only entering mid term and god only knows how I will cope as she deteriorates further.
There is so little support and often part time which I can not access working full time. I feel utterly trapped and hemmed in and am just waiting for my life to begin again.
OK rant over, now I just feel wicked and selfish, but I don't care.
just need a quick rant.
my Mother has mixed dementia and is 88. My 15 year old son,husband and myself live under the same roof and it is hell.
Every day I just wish she would die because my life would be so much easier.
She was always a controlling manipulative woman, who had a knack of getting her own way, and has always used emotional blackmail on me, which does not work with my menfolk, which gives rise to huge tensions.She hates them and they hate her, and I am stuck in the middle.
I work full time and she goes to day care 2 days a week. But I loath living with her, dread hearing her voice, resent her intrusion on my life, which is really busy and creative, and do not want to have to be her prime carer. Unfortunately we live in her house and can not afford to move anywhere else owing to crippling debt. My brother in the UK does nothing because she has always been hurtful and distant to him and her granddaughters who she never really acknowledged.
I am 46 and feel my time being stolen from me by her. I can not get away - respite is too expensive, and frankly once I escape I dread coming back again.
This woman has haunted me all my life and still refuses to let go and I am so angry with her.
I try and do my best as a "caring" daughter, but honestly, as I said, I just can't wait until she dies, but she will probably hold on as long as possible just to spite me. I am impatient, shout at her, do not want to communicate, all in all I am sick of it. And she is only entering mid term and god only knows how I will cope as she deteriorates further.
There is so little support and often part time which I can not access working full time. I feel utterly trapped and hemmed in and am just waiting for my life to begin again.
OK rant over, now I just feel wicked and selfish, but I don't care.