Just become responsible

[MrsBe]

Hi

I'm new to this forum and am looking for some advice.

My Uncle passed away a fortnight ago and this has left my Aunt on her own with dementia. She has no relatives in her area (son lives overseas). Aunt lives one side of the Thames, we live the other.

Aunt has been living with Mum and Dad for the past two weeks, but already Mum is struggling to cope with her sister and my Dad (getting unsteady and forgetful himself!) - indeed, Mum and Dad's lives have effectively stopped as Aunt cannot be left on her own - she forgets very quickly and has so far set the smoke alarm off when she got the kettle cable stuck under the off switch, over flowed the sink forgetting to turn off taps and left the front door wide open. Additionally she cannot get up their stairs on her own to the bathroom (she had a downstairs wc).

Mum contacted Aunt's local authority to see what help they could offer - not interested. She asked the nurse at a recent appointment about Aunt's social worker and got told she doesn't have one. Mum has made a DRs appointment with Aunts DR to discuss her needs/options.

I believe my Aunt should be able to have a care needs assessment by her local council, but does anyone know if that means she would have to stay in her local area?

As an initial route I have started contacting care homes in our area for information as we feel that she would be best in a home and near us so that we can visit daily (as opposed to once a week if she stayed in her area).

Has anyone had any experience of moving a relative from one borough to another in this way?

She has a house to sell but we have also discovered a large chunk of any sale needs to be repaid under equity release. Does anyone know what would happen once her money runs out? Would she need to change care homes?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

thanks.

 

[Pacucho]

I am sorry to read about all the issues you and your family are having to deal with.

One of the best places to start is by contacting your local Carers Centre, who should be experienced in advising you of all the issues relating to social services, what your family is entitled to, level of care expected, etc. You can find your local Carers Centre via the following link: https://carers.org/section/help-advice.
Hope this helps,

Paco

 

[Shedrech]

hello @MrsBe
a warm welcome to TP
your parents have been kind taking in your aunt for the short term - they certainly can't sustain that for the future
does anyone have Power of Attorney for your aunt, or would it possible to get those put in place, as then someone will have the legal authority to deal with her affairs and make arrangements such as finding her a suitable care home - otherwise, it may be worth someone applying to be her Deputy to deal with her finances
if someone is her Attorney, if your aunt is in agreement, they can make arrangements in her best interests - if your aunt no longer has capacity, the Attorney can act - if she is reluctant to move, the Attorney may need to be a bit sneaky, eg saying this lovely rest home is a welcome stop-gap until the doctors/social worker/??? is able to make better arrangements or whatever will help your aunt accept the move
any potential care home will make their own assessment of your aunt to make sure they can provide for her needs - so maybe make some notes of her behaviours, helpful and not so helpful, so that you can give them an accurate picture of her condition
I don't really understand why her Local authority Adult Services have been of no help - she is entitled to an assessment of her care needs - it may be that they know she will be self-funding so they will not be involved financially, but it's important that she be on their system - maybe go back to them and make it clear that your aunt is only with your parents for a visit and that she now needs to return to her own home (bluff needed) so as you know her dementia and behaviour make her a 'vulnerable adult' who is 'at risk' of causing harm to herself and not able to look after herself therefore as the LA as' the duty of care' you know they are responsible for her welfare - make it clear that your parents and yourself are in no position to provide any care and she is unable to organise care for herself (cruel to be kind)
I doubt there will be a Social Worker allocated long term - the system seems to be that an issue is dealt with and the person is then 'off the books' until the next issue arises which is dealt with separately
I do know that there are members here who have moved the person they care for closer to their own home - in time some may see your post
you're right that this may become more of an issue when your aunt is no longer self-funding - so her LA does need to know of her situation - the LA only become involved when her assets fall below £23250 - see Annex A (about 75% down) of this document
https://www.gov.uk/government/publi...ce/care-and-support-statutory-guidance#AnnexA
so her Attorney needs to consider how long her finances will last - if less than a year the LA really do need to know, and the chosen care home may want to know that she will be able to self-fund for a certain period before accepting her
sorry this is probably too much to take in
so do come back with any questions - someone where will be able to help
and there's the AS helpline too
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/...195.721471181.1503062667-213745934.1462100281
best wishes

 

[MrsBe]

Thank you both for your kind words and the information you have given is much appreciated, some of which we were unaware of.

Yes, Mum and Uncle had LPA and I was 'reserve' if one of them became unable to.

Time to hit back at the LA with my new found information.

Many thanks once again.