Toilet obsessions & incontinence

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,694
0
Auckland...... New Zealand
Sorry yet another thread :)

For as long as I can remember Mum always had a toilet obsession.
If she wasnt trying to find a toilet when out, or being near a toilet, it was being fearful of being locked in.
Constipation made her even more anxious.

Dementia has made this worse.
Prior to Mum going into care she was semi incontinent, but only if she got distracted/forgot to get to the loo in time.
She was forever handwashing undies, and hiding them in the hot water cupboard, fearful if anyone saw them.
I tried her with incontinence pads, no she wouldn't use them.

Since being in care Mum has gotten worse.
they have tried her with various types of pads ( removes them ), disposable underwear ( rips them up/off) ... nothing works. She is now at times urine incontinent if she forgets the toilet is in her room, and if also toileting steps like wiping.... which is the main problem.
It is not pleasant , and we can no longer take her out of her care home more than 15mns.
She refuses to even use public toilets... someone will hear her, someone will see her!
I think this is the whole reason also why she prefers being in her own room, with her own toilet. She will not use the communal one.

Nursing staff have her on a 2hrly toileting schedule, but she becomes to resistant to them prompting or assisting her. Personally I feel she needs to be in the pullup type pants, but Mum still has a fixation about her underwear. Trying to put them on over any type of pullup would be a no go. Just more layers of undergarments to pull down/ pull up.
I thought about buying her wasahble incontinence underwear which isn't cheap but was told that the laundry would have to give approval.
I have a meeting with Dr & Care manager on Wednesday to discuss next steps. Despite being on Quetiapine for past 5 weeks which has worked really well, every now and again she gets quite resistant to personal cares. Especially when it involves the lower half of her body.
She has just had 3days, of being resistant to showering & changing. They are testing her again for a UTI. If negative I know they will probably up her Quetiapine dose which at the moment is 25mg in the am, 12.5mg in the pm.

Any suggestions for me to ask Care Staff?
 
Last edited:

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi Linbrusco
probably not helpful, but a fairly loose onsie might stop her getting to any underwear, and put on pull-ups underneath - though possibly tricky for staff to deal with when it's time for personal care
or one of those tops that dancers wear that fastens at the crotch (onsie without legs)
dad can be pretty resistant to personal care, the carers have to pick their moment and be as quick as they can ignoring any shouting from him (I know, sounds awful but it lasts no time at all and he's always much better afterwards) - not easy all round
 

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