"Dont ever discuss hallucinations,Distract"

totallyconfused

Registered User
Apr 18, 2016
435
0
This is what the consultant said last week. Not always possible. Sometimes its all she wants to talk about. Last night she pushed me away as I tried to distract her. She is certain her reflection is someone outside and that this person was in the bathroom(I had forgotten to close the curtains but she has often opened them and had same reaction.)She said I know you think Im crazy but there are out there. When I try and distract I must seem like I am dismissing her.After a while we managed to distract her with a cup of tea and playing with the cat.

We have tried to comfort her and in times like this make sure she knows no one can get in to the house but its stuck in her mind and its a hard situation.

She started 25mg Quetripine on Monday. No major problem/mention of these women until last night again. She was over tired this week as weather hasn't been good, we haven't been able to go outside and she a had a good few visitors.
 

DollyBird16

Registered User
Sep 5, 2017
1,185
0
Greater London
Hi we have the same with Mums delusions, other ‘people’ living in the house, Dads affairs with many women!
We go for the distraction as best we can but she will say you are changing the subject.
Admiral told us to shout at the ‘people’ to tell them to get out.
I listen for a while but then find ignoring is as good as distracting.
I feel for you, it’s so tough trying to manage this one.
doc recommends no meds’ at this stage due to side effects, Mums is vascular. X
 

totallyconfused

Registered User
Apr 18, 2016
435
0
Hi we have the same with Mums delusions, other ‘people’ living in the house, Dads affairs with many women!
We go for the distraction as best we can but she will say you are changing the subject.
Admiral told us to shout at the ‘people’ to tell them to get out.
I listen for a while but then find ignoring is as good as distracting.
I feel for you, it’s so tough trying to manage this one.
doc recommends no meds’ at this stage due to side effects, Mums is vascular. X

Thank you, it is hard isn't it. Its so hard to know whether you are doing a good job. Its comforting to know others are going through it even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone.I was unsure of meds but then it started during the day, outside planting and seeing this woman in the window thinking shes stealing her plants and staying out there in case they take her stuff. The garden is everything to her so its so hard that she is suffering with this in a place where sh is happiest. This is why we tried the new drug as well as to ensure proper sleep.
 

ZuluFoxtrot

New member
Oct 19, 2017
4
0
Hi we have the same with Mums delusions, other ‘people’ living in the house, Dads affairs with many women!
We go for the distraction as best we can but she will say you are changing the subject.
Admiral told us to shout at the ‘people’ to tell them to get out.
I listen for a while but then find ignoring is as good as distracting.
I feel for you, it’s so tough trying to manage this one.
doc recommends no meds’ at this stage due to side effects, Mums is vascular. X
Hi
I feel for you . This is how mum was many years ago but was treated for being delusional. Probably was early signs of dementia but she was only in her 40s. I found playing along with her better than trying to say it wasn’t true as she got more irritated. Do what you feel best - if you can’t keep up the pretence then changing the subject might help.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
TBH it used to drive me mad when I was advised to distract - with both my mother and FiL you might as well have tried to distract a wasp from a jam jar. It might work for half a minute max, but they would go back to whatever it was, relentlessly, over and over and over. As for people telling me to say, 'How about a nice cuppa?' - frankly made me want to scream. Might well work for some, but not for ours.

And what do you do when you can't altogether go along with it, either, because the whatever-it-is that is all in their heads, is causing them severe distress or agitation?

My mother once became fixated on the idea that she and her cleaning lady had taken my father's dead body to a graveyard many miles away, and just dumped it. This was triggered by something she'd seen on TV (who Do You Think You Are?). and subsequently mixed up in a dream. She was utterly distraught.
It went on for some 48 hours and nothing anybody said could reassure or comfort her.
Knowing what I know now - all so easy in hindsight - I should have 'gone along with it' by saying that I knew, it was all right, it had all been sorted out and he'd been buried properly soon afterwards. Just wish I'd thought of that at the time.
 

Malalie

Registered User
Sep 1, 2016
310
0
Teepa Snow was my Guru when I was looking after Mum, although I hadn't seen that particular video before. Don't dismiss her - she has brilliant suggestions for all sorts of situations - lots of stuff on YouTube.

However, I agree with Witzend, that wouldn't have worked with MIL either. The Doctor described it as confabulations rather than delusions in her case - she thought that her son was her husband, and I was the woman he had left her for - you can imagine the scenes when he tried to leave after visiting her. I don't know who was more upset, him, or her! (Fortunately, I always seemed to be the lovely daughter in law regardless, so it was easier for me) We never got round that one, but as things progressed it all went away (for her anyway...)

Could you put in roman blinds, net curtains or something at the windows? Not what you would chose possibly, but just to make your life a little less stressful....
 

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