Grumpy OH

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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Forgot to mention strange thing happened the other day. Got in car with OH was taking him to Warfarin Clinic. He couldn't get seat belt on it was stuck down the side of seat. I was just saying to him how to get it out , which he did then he said "now what do I do with it" . I just told him to fasten it till it locked. I just thought it was strange not knowing what to do. On return to car he had no problem with it. Oh well theses things happen. Have good weekend ladies ...
 

Caz60

Registered User
Jul 24, 2014
253
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Lancashire
Hi Caz60 hope you feel lots better today. We all get tearful I think. I'm the same some days I just want to shut myself in & see nobody. The next day I think well you can't go on like this & I am back too normal. I don't like to think ahead as it makes me even more resentful than I already am, because if I started thinking I had years of this & worse omg it's a nightmare. I know things will change but I will deal with that when it happens. We are a tough lot we will all manage. You do right to take every opportunity you can for me time as we need it to get through this situation. That's the only way I can cope , escaping to go walking or time out with family. I do it now as the future may be more tieing . As I say though will deal with that as and when. You take care of yourself Caz60 always remember you are not alone . You can come on here & rant because we ladies have been through it or are going through it. Speak soon take care hope you have a peaceful weekend. Xx
Thankyou so much I am feeling a bit more like myself but I know I'm strong and will get through it .We lovely people on here are the best when we get down we help each other .xxmuch love to allx
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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I have been awake for an hour and can't stop thinking of the same thing:
I know the destination of this journey
I know the stages or legs of the journey (in theory), but I have no idea of how long the whole journey and each leg will last
In other words, I can't even imagine what my life will be like tomorrow
No expectations, no plans, no hopes..
Maybe it is the darkness of the night that makes me so negative
Better trying to get back to sleep
Hi margherita OH those nights when we can't sleep are awful. Our minds just wander. I don't like to even think about it as the stages progress. I would rather just deal with it as and when it happens. One thing I am sure of is that should things change dramatically I will then have the opportunity to consider day care. Hope you managed to get back to sleep. take care. Xxxx
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
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Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
One thing I am sure of is that should things change dramatically I will then have the opportunity to consider day care.
It would be a relief , but my husband thinks he does not need to pay for someone to help him.
He is still enough independent, even though he forgets to take his meds, can't find his keys or wallet, is not always able to use his mobile..and so on
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
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Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
My OH daughter he hasn't seen for over a year. He will possibly see her bonfire night as his son always puts on a bonfire party & she is there. She usually has a few tears on seeing him , I totally ignore it because if she was so concerned she would make the effort to see him regardless of my feelings towards her. Step family can be so fickle.

My husband's son is only interested in his father's money, even though he can't get much of it since his father's meannes.
He phones once a month and visits twice a year.
But I do not miss him
He is so false and hypocritical
 
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Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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My husband's son is only interested in his father's money, even though he can't get much of it since his father's meannes.
He phones once a month and visit twice a year.
But I do not miss him
He is so false and hypocritical
That's what I think about OH daughter she is very false & hypocritical. I certainly don't miss her either. As I said OH will see her bonfire night she will be coming over as so sincere & caring. Then get upset & teary , I have seen it so many times it has no affect on me at all in fact I don't speak to her. Last year OH said after she had walked away "who was that" even though she had been saying dad too him. So false she is. ..
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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It would be a relief , but my husband thinks he does not need to pay for someone to help him.
He is still enough independent, even though he forgets to take his meds, can't find his keys or wallet, is not always able to use his mobile..and so on
My OH is able to do things however some days he struggles mentally & physically. He would never take his meds if I didn't give him them ,he has no idea what any of them are. Same as your OH keys always are going missing as is wallet . He doesn't have a mobile now as he would never answer it.
 

Everton Annie

Registered User
Feb 25, 2015
111
0
Hatfield Hertfordshire
I have been awake for an hour and can't stop thinking of the same thing:
I know the destination of this journey
I know the stages or legs of the journey (in theory), but I have no idea of how long the whole journey and each leg will last
In other words, I can't even imagine what my life will be like tomorrow
No expectations, no plans, no hopes..
Maybe it is the darkness of the night that makes me so negative
Better trying to get back to sleep
@margherita I think we all identify with you. It is the wee small hours that my brain works overtime. Maybe that is because that is when we have time to think. Hope your weekend is peaceful
 

longlostfan

Registered User
Aug 14, 2016
111
0
OH longlostfan snap I could have written the same post, so alike it's unbelievable. Our kids always say there dad has done nothing since retiring than sit around . No hobbies nothing. I worked a further 17years after he retired. I know the resentful feeling OH so well. I myself have always kept myself active & busy since retiring. Glad you got LPA sorted. Well I had busy day yesterday had my walk. Back did lunch later son & dil came with granddaughter, they were here till late . Then I went to daughters house took the dog out for long walk as they are away for few days. This morning I have been for long walk with dog , now I'm gonna prepare lunch. OH still in bed of course. Yesterday he did get involved & have a bit chat while family was here. Once they had gone he just went upstairs back to normal. It's grim . Hope you have a peaceful weekend longlostfan that's my rant over as well. Speak soon take care. xxx
Hi Beads, thanks for your response, it makes me feel better that someone else “gets” exactly what I’m saying, even tho I’m sorry that you are going through the same kind of you know what! It’s good you get out for walks though, the dog is someone to talk to (I love dogs tho I’ve never had one) and I’m glad you had time with your son and granddaughter too. I envy you that cos I don’t have any grandchildren! But mustn’t complain as my kids are there for me. Am trying too not to think too much about the future, difficult sometimes that. At least I was out at work yesterday, made me feel a bit more human. Am now gonna see if I can get OH out for a short walk - he’s gone to bed, surprise surprise - am not really expecting success but will try anyway as sometimes if I’m lucky he will feel better for the fresh air (tho it’s breezy here today. Can’t help thinking of what I’d really like to be doing - but that way madness lies......
Hope you are having a reasonably good day, and as you say, speak to you soon x
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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Yeah there's certainly plenty around, they would have to be well paid to take on that role . Ha ha. Pleased your SIL is showing no distress , I suppose they will eventually get her care home sorted. I think it takes its toll more on the family , so very sad. OH be lovely for you all the family there , your granddaughter will be so excited to give you her present bless her. They are so sweet. What would we do without them. Mine definitely brighten my day. I don't walk on a weekend my friend is busy going out with hubby when he is off work. I have been out with daughters dog though so I did have a lovely walk . Really fresh first thing this morning & windy . Yes life is unfair i agree. Well I hope your having a lovely afternoon . Will speak later. Take care.x
 
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Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
0
Hi Beads, thanks for your response, it makes me feel better that someone else “gets” exactly what I’m saying, even tho I’m sorry that you are going through the same kind of you know what! It’s good you get out for walks though, the dog is someone to talk to (I love dogs tho I’ve never had one) and I’m glad you had time with your son and granddaughter too. I envy you that cos I don’t have any grandchildren! But mustn’t complain as my kids are there for me. Am trying too not to think too much about the future, difficult sometimes that. At least I was out at work yesterday, made me feel a bit more human. Am now gonna see if I can get OH out for a short walk - he’s gone to bed, surprise surprise - am not really expecting success but will try anyway as sometimes if I’m lucky he will feel better for the fresh air (tho it’s breezy here today. Can’t help thinking of what I’d really like to be doing - but that way madness lies......
Hope you are having a reasonably good day, and as you say, speak to you soon x
Hi longlostfan hope you are well. Yes the similarities are crazy. its good you have your Saturday too look forward too , whatever you do keep it up as long as you can . As I've said before it's for your own sanity as well, & as you say it makes you feel a bit more human. I hope you managed to get your OH out for a walk the fresh air would do him good. My OH can't walk far so it's a waste of time even asking him. Tried it before long time ago we only did about 50!yards he said . By that was a good walk I think we better go back now. Well gonna make tea speak soon longlostfan take care.xx
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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I think your daughter has hit the nail on the head MIA56. My daughter has also many a time said words to that affect.
 
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margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
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Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi all of you,
today I went to Milan to vote, because a referendum about more financial independence for our region was being held.
I left at 9.00am and was back by 4.00pm.
I did not go home, it would have been too sad, but had lunch (pizza) with a friend of mine.
Wonderful sensation of speaking to someome who understands what I say!
I had left a pot with stew on the cooker for my husband, only to warm up at lunch time.
Well, he did not eat it because he "had not seen it", though it was the only pot on the cooker .
He also told me he had had some fish which was in the fridge, but the fish had not been touched.
He did not starve because he found other things to eat, but what happened today makes me think he is quite confused and can stay on his own only few hours
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
0
Hi all of you,
today I went to Milan to vote, because a referendum about more financial independence for our region was being held.
I left at 9.00am and was back by 4.00pm.
I did not go home, it would have been too sad, but had lunch (pizza) with a friend of mine.
Wonderful sensation of speaking to someome who understands what I say!
I had left a pot with stew on the cooker for my husband, only to warm up at lunch time.
Well, he did not eat it because he "had not seen it", though it was the only pot on the cooker .
He also told me he had had some fish which was in the fridge, but the fish had not been touched.
He did not starve because he found other things to eat, but what happened today makes me think he is quite confused and can stay on his own only few hours
Hi margherita glad you enjoyed your day out & catch up with your friend . It's great to have good chat with your friend you can tell them everything & get so much support & understanding . Really makes a difference sharing your problems. To have been away for a few hours away from "house arrest "as you call it will have been great . Then you get back to reality, I honestly think they just get confused . Other times when you have been away he hasn't eaten what you left him has he. As you say he didn't starve so that's the main thing. He still managed to find something to eat . So I wouldn't worry too much about it. Until the time comes they are not capable of coping at all then I am content to leave OH for a few hours. It's not very often you go anywhere so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Them few hours away will have done you the power of good . I am so glad you got away as you were getting really down. Speak soon you take care. Xxx
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi margherita glad you enjoyed your day out & catch up with your friend . It's great to have good chat with your friend you can tell them everything & get so much support & understanding . Really makes a difference sharing your problems. To have been away for a few hours away from "house arrest "as you call it will have been great . Then you get back to reality,

Back to reality. You are right, @Beads, getting understanding (also in the literal sense) makes me feel relieved.
My husband doesn't often understand what I tell him.
I usually have to repeat twice or more
The first time because he has not heard ( he seems to have slight hearing problems), the second (or third ) because he has not understood the meaning of my words.
Have a good day!
Did you enjoy your Sunday?
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi @MIA56
My husband has been trying to justify his son's behaviour lately, which winds me up, too.
I always tell him he has a right to love his son (even though my husband can't really love anyone but himself), but he should realize what he is actually like.
Luckily we seldom see him. They have not had a good relationship (I would say they have no relationship at all)
The last time he visited they had not any subject of conversation, which was more evident than had been before owing to my husband's illness.
On previous occasions I had tried to talk about any topic to avoid embarassing silence, but now I have stopped doing it.I was politely smiling (how difficult it is to stretch my face muscles while there is no smile in my heart)
They have nothing to say to each other.The sooner they realize it , the better.
And the sooner my husband's son realizes I neither like nor trust him, the better
I can be anything but hypocritical and false
 
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Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
0
Back to reality. You are right, @Beads, getting understanding (also in the literal sense) makes me feel relieved.
My husband doesn't often understand what I tell him.
I usually have to repeat twice or more
The first time because he has not heard ( he seems to have slight hearing problems), the second (or third ) because he has not understood the meaning of my words.
Have a good day!
Did you enjoy your Sunday?
Hi margherita hope you are well, Hope your day is going well up to now. I call it hearing what you want to hear. Yes some days OH doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about that's when he has his very confused days. Sunday was a very quiet day apart from taking daughters dog out for walks . His little legs were even littler after he had been out with me. (Chihuahua) you know how I love walking. Not been for my walk this morning my friend had Drs app. I did however take patch for a little walk. My daughter is back today. Speak soon take care. Xx