I dont have a formal diagnosis. However iv just read a post that has inspired me to do my own thread. Im not sure who its aimed at maybe just myself.
I am 53 yrs of age with no real support. I have 3 children aged 22, 24, and 26. One has autism one is a drug addict so i find talking about what is going on for me difficult plus i find it hard to recall the past. But here we go.
Im an ex addict myself i started using mind and mood altering substances at the age of 13 and i got clean 2008 after my mum died in 2007. About 2011 possibly 12 i started to worry about my memory and over the years had a few mini cog tests the last of which was jan where i scored 27. (Iv had one since that i dont know the score but i will get there. )
About jan this year i was chatting with a friend about the election not really a subject i know a great deal about with my history but enough to get by. She mentioned the leader of the opposition, names gone atm. Oh yes Jeremy Corbyn. I realised in that moment that i didnt know what she was talking about just something went blank in my mind. Then i started to notice other changes like id forget films id watched, i just couldn't seem to retain the details for long. Then music, music id loved and been into in the past. Id hear a few bars or even the whole song and didnt know who it was. I knew i should know, just didnt. Things like madonna or Whitney Houston tracks. Real iconic tunes we all know. Just gone. Then tv series id loved i couldnt remember the plot or names of the characters. Last year i could have held a good old conversation about game of thrones. Not now.
Then came keeping up with conversations and remembering the content. My children's DOB and details of their births seemed to fade, that fades in and out depending.
I went back to the Dr who put me on sertraline? My anxiety went through the roof so i went bk a week later and they doubled the dose. After 16 days of not knowing what was going on other than anxiety i went bk again and they put me on prozac. I was on this 4 weeks. In that time i went to the gym and swimming to try to lift my mood. Still at this point thinking it was depression. The gym we went to is one my children attended classes at for years so i knew the lay out. Yet i asked my daughter where do those stairs go? Are they new? They wernt. Id forget what locker my stuff was in and theres only 10 lockers. Then simple maths started giving me real problems. Iv always been a little dislexic but i had managed to overcome it but it seems like my brain has gone bk to getting letters mixed up or not knowing how to spell a word. Predictive text is a god send.
Theres so much more i know iv forgotten but carnt remember it. I did rite it all down and took it to my GP who believe it or not didnt even read it and actually laugh and told me there was nothing wrong with my memory.
I can recall doing a drawing of a clock with a friend and getting the numbers in the wrong place but because I did it right in the mini cog she didnt believe me. Anyway i eventually got a refurall to the psychiatrist because I rang up the access and crysis team and said i didnt know on that day at that time what 2 times 50 was.
Iv since seen the psychiatrist who did a different test and the day and date etc i was fine with but historic events i didnt know, like who JFK was or where countries were on the map. Im now awaiting an MRI on Friday nxt week and bloods the week after, then iv been told i will be sent to the memory clinic with the results of said tests.
Im the mean time its a very scary time. I find i cry a lot, mornings are worse. I have weird sensations in my lega like a cold tingling and funny stabbing electric shock type pains in my head and face. And when im tired i feel like my brain is literally burning. Tinnitus is another thing I have had a few times now and i find that really annoying more so when my own voice echoes when i speak.
i also seem to get lost in my own head. Time just seems to suck me in. Its really frightening at times well most of the time.
As i said at the beginning i dont know who this is aimed at i may just use it as a resource of my experience for myself and keep updating it as things go on. But till then thanks for reading this far.
Other things to note are my eye sight has changed iv had to go back to an old pair so i can see as using my new ones everything is blurred. When i walk through the local town centre theres a part of the flooring that sends my eyes and mind funny. Its black floor covering with metal silver stripes on. Its never bothered me before, just this past year.
I spelt my daughters name wrong, i have started to have to spell things by braking them down so i spelt hannah, hanner.
I took her for a lot of psychology tests in 2016 and when asked recently if i had any documents on her condition i said no. I don't remember taking her for the tests till i found the report yesterday.
I look at faces of celebrities i know i know them but i can't bring a name to mind or what film or sport etc
Everyday theres just so many things that just arnt there.
I am 53 yrs of age with no real support. I have 3 children aged 22, 24, and 26. One has autism one is a drug addict so i find talking about what is going on for me difficult plus i find it hard to recall the past. But here we go.
Im an ex addict myself i started using mind and mood altering substances at the age of 13 and i got clean 2008 after my mum died in 2007. About 2011 possibly 12 i started to worry about my memory and over the years had a few mini cog tests the last of which was jan where i scored 27. (Iv had one since that i dont know the score but i will get there. )
About jan this year i was chatting with a friend about the election not really a subject i know a great deal about with my history but enough to get by. She mentioned the leader of the opposition, names gone atm. Oh yes Jeremy Corbyn. I realised in that moment that i didnt know what she was talking about just something went blank in my mind. Then i started to notice other changes like id forget films id watched, i just couldn't seem to retain the details for long. Then music, music id loved and been into in the past. Id hear a few bars or even the whole song and didnt know who it was. I knew i should know, just didnt. Things like madonna or Whitney Houston tracks. Real iconic tunes we all know. Just gone. Then tv series id loved i couldnt remember the plot or names of the characters. Last year i could have held a good old conversation about game of thrones. Not now.
Then came keeping up with conversations and remembering the content. My children's DOB and details of their births seemed to fade, that fades in and out depending.
I went back to the Dr who put me on sertraline? My anxiety went through the roof so i went bk a week later and they doubled the dose. After 16 days of not knowing what was going on other than anxiety i went bk again and they put me on prozac. I was on this 4 weeks. In that time i went to the gym and swimming to try to lift my mood. Still at this point thinking it was depression. The gym we went to is one my children attended classes at for years so i knew the lay out. Yet i asked my daughter where do those stairs go? Are they new? They wernt. Id forget what locker my stuff was in and theres only 10 lockers. Then simple maths started giving me real problems. Iv always been a little dislexic but i had managed to overcome it but it seems like my brain has gone bk to getting letters mixed up or not knowing how to spell a word. Predictive text is a god send.
Theres so much more i know iv forgotten but carnt remember it. I did rite it all down and took it to my GP who believe it or not didnt even read it and actually laugh and told me there was nothing wrong with my memory.
I can recall doing a drawing of a clock with a friend and getting the numbers in the wrong place but because I did it right in the mini cog she didnt believe me. Anyway i eventually got a refurall to the psychiatrist because I rang up the access and crysis team and said i didnt know on that day at that time what 2 times 50 was.
Iv since seen the psychiatrist who did a different test and the day and date etc i was fine with but historic events i didnt know, like who JFK was or where countries were on the map. Im now awaiting an MRI on Friday nxt week and bloods the week after, then iv been told i will be sent to the memory clinic with the results of said tests.
Im the mean time its a very scary time. I find i cry a lot, mornings are worse. I have weird sensations in my lega like a cold tingling and funny stabbing electric shock type pains in my head and face. And when im tired i feel like my brain is literally burning. Tinnitus is another thing I have had a few times now and i find that really annoying more so when my own voice echoes when i speak.
i also seem to get lost in my own head. Time just seems to suck me in. Its really frightening at times well most of the time.
As i said at the beginning i dont know who this is aimed at i may just use it as a resource of my experience for myself and keep updating it as things go on. But till then thanks for reading this far.
Other things to note are my eye sight has changed iv had to go back to an old pair so i can see as using my new ones everything is blurred. When i walk through the local town centre theres a part of the flooring that sends my eyes and mind funny. Its black floor covering with metal silver stripes on. Its never bothered me before, just this past year.
I spelt my daughters name wrong, i have started to have to spell things by braking them down so i spelt hannah, hanner.
I took her for a lot of psychology tests in 2016 and when asked recently if i had any documents on her condition i said no. I don't remember taking her for the tests till i found the report yesterday.
I look at faces of celebrities i know i know them but i can't bring a name to mind or what film or sport etc
Everyday theres just so many things that just arnt there.
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