Mum screaming, not eating properly, refusing medication

ChristinaG

Registered User
Feb 21, 2017
92
0
I am so worried about my mum who is in a specialist dementia Home. She has been calling out and making high pitched whining noises for over a year now. These episodes are best described as hysteria and more recently have been going on for up to 14 hours at a time. I have brought her to her house, my house with me, family members even the 15 month old great grandchild as she loves children but nothing helps. If you ask her to stop she often looks surprised and says what do you mean? Or Eh? Most of the time she is incoherent so we don't know what's wrong. She was taking to the door yesterday.. Nothing consoles her for long and it's aa if she doesn't know she us doing its she us very upset when I transfer her to the car or try and get her to the loo but that I can understand. She says she is frightened, help me, i have no money. She immediately stops when the consultant from the CMHT visit or in the presence of her GP so they don't see it but I have recorded it. She is extremely fussy about eating, can't feed herself, properly, no cutlery, and clamps her mouth firmly shut when they try to give her meds and also food. We are about to try the third med pregablin prescribed by CMHT but two GPS have been quite quizzical at this.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I can't do as much as I wish as my brother who has learning disability is terminally ill and I must spend time which him - he hss no one else but me and we are close
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Let's hope the doctors can find something that will help, as much for your peace of mind as for your mum. To be honest, though, one of the things I would stop doing is taking your mum out. She is in a specialist Dementia home for a reason. Taking her to what will be, to her, strange environments will just confuse and agitate her. If your mum seems surprised that she is making this noise, then it could be that it is just that, a noise she makes, maybe to block out other noise around her?

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, and although I know you are worried about your mum, she is in a safe place, with staff to take care of her needs. You can only spread yourself so far, and for now, maybe your priority needs to be your brother? I know it's hard to let go, and not try and keep helping your mum, but you matter too.
 

ChristinaG

Registered User
Feb 21, 2017
92
0
Many thanks for your swift reply Lady A, the problem is she is not as 'safe' and comfortable as she should be. The Home have not been helping her to eat, and did not note that she isn't taking her meds, it is,only my observations from visiting her regularly. The home also lost her bottom teeth so she only has the top set and only yesterday I noticed that her teeth pot which is clearly marked with her name was missing so there is the potential for her losing the top set overnight as they wouldnt be properly stored. Mum has always loved to look good even now and loves a bit of pampering. There have also been problems with indentations on her legs where the medical stockings are put on incorrectly, bunched up instead of stretched, or inside out with the top leg grips on the outside. Her feet need professional podiatry but that is not arranged so i struggle to keep the toe nails cut back as much as I can. I rarely bring mum home now so the trip home was a one off to try and help. I don't think anyone can or should assume their loved one is being well looked after
In a Home. This Home are very good with her when she is screaming and they even brought her to see my brother Staff are kind and outstanding on the dementia side but the personal care is not good. I expect a lot is down to staff shortages, I am told dementia Homes are not permitted any more staff than in a regular home for elderly people. I just can't leave her suffering on her own.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
That's awful, @ChristinaG . Have you had a talk with the Management about the issues? Things do go missing in Homes, unfortunately, but basics like feeding and the medical stockings should be seen to. Would your mum eat finger foods if they were left for her? My husband was a difficult eater in later stages, but he would often eat tiny "finger" sandwiches. Or have her tastes changed, would she like sweet stuff? The Nursing Home my husband was in had a chiropodist visit once a month. It cost extra, but was worth it.
 

ChristinaG

Registered User
Feb 21, 2017
92
0
Thank you. They were meant to be giving finger food as she can't handle cutlery and she did eat several tiny soft sausages when she was with me yesterday. I am not seeing much effort being made and don't know what is happening now she only has top teeth. I have met and discussed the issues with senior staff and they are very nice and put in place measures to try and help including amending the care plan so they do try and they are so busy. Sadly that doesn't stop things from going wrong again not long afterwards. I raise concerns again and so it goes on. I think it's hard for staff in care homes and they need better pay and recognition for the difficult work they do. Mum pays her full fees and I have no problem with that provided she gets good care and support but this really isn't happening. I am trying to arrange for podiatry but I do feel that at least should be part of the package. Podiatry comes for free for those who visit the day centre so there is an anomaly - why should it be different now she is in residential care - her feet are still sore - her big toes turn inwards and the nails are so thick. These are the kinds of things that organisations set up to help people like my mum and your husband should be looking into. I am discovering that it's not unusual for people in Homes to end up with no teeth either. Mum's health and well being has been affected as she knows they are missing. The Dentist came and took the first mould and it was quite and ordeal for her. They couldn't come for 3 weeks and she has had to pay when the home lost her teeth. I am sure the other health issues I am concerned about are not unusual either. Thank for taking an interest it does help. X
 

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