Can anyone recommend a care agency

[Ethelburga]

my mum has dementia. She lives alone and I live an hour and a half away from her. She likes living alone. At the moment she seems to manage to eat fairly regularly and healthily and has someone who cleans for a few hours once a month. I asked her if she could come more often because mum didn’t seem to do anything in between visits but sadly the cleaner can’t come more often.
Recently my mum has become more muddled. She has no insight into her situation. Her friends have said
They feel they have lost ....... and my mum has lost interest in her friends and family.
I wondered if anyone knew of an agency who might be able to provide someone to pop in and check on my mum. May be help her with a bit of washing but also check she’s opened her post, taken her tablets may be even take her shopping. Someone who understands dementia and will sort of befriend her. I can see my mum once a week but really I am not in a position to go in everyday. I am prepared to pay for the right care/person.
Any suggestions welcome. My mum can be difficult so needs careful handling.

 

[LilyJ]

You don't say which area your mother is in which makes it difficult to offer any suggestions.

 

[Beate]

If it's a befriending service you are after, try Age UK, but befrienders are usually not allowed to deal with medication.
You could also get a needs assessment done by Social Services for more support and they can recommend services too. But please remember that you do not have to pay for your mother's care - these expenses should go from her money only.

 

[Ethelburga]

You don't say which area your mother is in which makes it difficult to offer any suggestions.

Sorry, rural North Lincolnshire .

 

[marionq]

Sorry, rural North Lincolnshire .

Do it through legitimate sources like Age UK or social services. Recently I contacted an online care agency but was shocked on reading the small print to see they don’t check ID or security. So you are paying for a contact name and nothing else. Needless to say I went no further.

 

[LadyA]

@Ethelburga The Forum rules don't allow individual care providers etc. to be named. "2.3 The naming of health or care providers, legal services and/or their individual staff is prohibited, with the exception of posters who have sought prior permission to do so from Alzheimer’s Society."
The Terms and Rules can be found here: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/help/termsandrules/

But @Beate and @marionq are right. Social Services, the Local Authority and other such agencies will steer you right. In fact, you could, if you haven't already, apply to have a Needs Assessment done for your mum, and take it from there. Is your mum in receipt of Attendance Allowance already? If not, that's something else that should be applied for.

 

[Ethelburga]

@Ethelburga The Forum rules don't allow individual care providers etc. to be named. "2.3 The naming of health or care providers, legal services and/or their individual staff is prohibited, with the exception of posters who have sought prior permission to do so from Alzheimer’s Society."
The Terms and Rules can be found here: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/help/termsandrules/

But @Beate and @marionq are right. Social Services, the Local Authority and other such agencies will steer you right. In fact, you could, if you haven't already, apply to have a Needs Assessment done for your mum, and take it from there. Is your mum in receipt of Attendance Allowance already? If not, that's something else that should be applied for.

Thank you. Sorry I hadn’t meant to break any rules. It’s just so difficult to know what to do. Not applied for AA

 

[LadyA]

Thank you. Sorry I hadn’t meant to break any rules. It’s just so difficult to know what to do. Not applied for AA

You haven't broken any rules! You didn't name anyone!

I would think your mum would be entitled to AA, and the discount on Council Tax. It would help with the cost of Carer visits.

 

[Ethelburga]

Sorry. I hadn’t meant to break any rules and I fully understand them. Thank you for the guidance. As a retired benefit adviser and an adviser for a carers agency in the past you’d think I should find this all so easy. It’s far more difficult when it’s your own family.

 

[Ethelburga]

You haven't broken any rules! You didn't name anyone!

I would think your mum would be entitled to AA, and the discount on Council Tax. It would help with the cost of Carer visits.

Thanks.

 

[LadyA]

Sorry. I hadn’t meant to break any rules and I fully understand them. Thank you for the guidance. As a retired benefit adviser and an adviser for a carers agency in the past you’d think I should find this all so easy. It’s far more difficult when it’s your own family.

Yes. It certainly is. It's the same thing I suppose as with surgeons not being allowed to operate on family members. Very hard to look at things practically, when it's so close.

If you want to find an Agency close to your mum, one good way is to ask at places like Day Centres etc. if there is anywhere particular they know of locally. If you can, talking to other carers in your mum's locality is also an excellent of getting steered in the right direction.

 

[Grannie G]

Although I'm unable to name or recommend a good care agencies, I would like to offer some pointers based on personal experience.

When I phoned agencies and asked for an assessment for my husband with a view to care at home two experiences were as far apart as they could have been.

I told both agencies how resistant my husband was to intrusion by strangers and asked both to be as discrete as possible.

The manager of the first agency came to visit. She came into our home as if she owned it, took her coat off , took out her clipboard and prepared to question my husband. He bristled immediately , as I did, but he got up and walked out.
End of visit.

The second manager , of a different agency, listened to my concerns when I phoned, spent two hours with me in our kitchen, trying to learn as much as possible about my husband and was then ready when I introduced her to tell him she was trying to find a way to help me.

We all have different needs but I do believe a good care agency will send someone to assess those needs and act on them. The agency is there for our benefit not the reverse.

 

[Ethelburga]

Although I'm unable to name or recommend a good care agencies, I would like to offer some pointers based on personal experience.

When I phoned agencies and asked for an assessment for my husband with a view to care at home two experiences were as far apart as they could have been.

I told both agencies how resistant my husband was to intrusion by strangers and asked both to be as discrete as possible.

The manager of the first agency came to visit. She came into our home as if she owned it, took her coat off , took out her clipboard and prepared to question my husband. He bristled immediately , as I did, but he got up and walked out.
End of visit.

The second manager , of a different agency, listened to my concerns when I phoned, spent two hours with me in our kitchen, trying to learn as much as possible about my husband and was then ready when I introduced her to tell him she was trying to find a way to help me.

We all have different needs but I do believe a good care agency will send someone to assess those needs and act on them. The agency is there for our benefit not the reverse.

Thank you. That is very useful. My mum is also resistant to any intrusion and really can’t see she has a problem. The idea of saying it is to help me is a really good one.

 

[LadyA]

@Ethelburga I got a man in to help with the garden. "To do the heavier work, so you can concentrate on planting". The man did do the mowing and that for a while, and as my husband deteriorated, they pottered about indoors, making snacks, looking at magazines, "playing chess" although my husband could no longer really play, etc.