How can you prevent weeing in inappropriate places?

[Selinacroft]

My new problem is- exactly as per title of thread, first I noticed some wee on top of things in cupboard under the stairs. Last night I tried my very best to persuade dad to use commode before bed but refused. No sooner had I left room he got up, walked through to kitchen and weed through his pad, nets and PJs all over the kitchen floor. I came down this morning and found another pool of wee on the kitchen floor so out with the mop again.
Nurse dipped his urine yesterday and no infection so suggestions on how to cope please!

 

[Amethyst59]

Oh dear...my OH went through a phase of doing this in his sleep...and the nurse suggested leaving the bathroom light on and the door open to 'signal' where the bathroom was...and this has done the trick for us so far...but I think your dad might be further on than this.

 

[marionq]

Oh dear...my OH went through a phase of doing this in his sleep...and the nurse suggested leaving the bathroom light on and the door open to 'signal' where the bathroom was...and this has done the trick for us so far...but I think your dad might be further on than this.

I’m dreading this. I do have to direct my husband to the toilet as he cannot remember the geography of our house. Leaving the light on is probably as good an idea as any and I’ll try it when the time comes.

 

[Amethyst59]

I’m dreading this. I do have to direct my husband to the toilet as he cannot remember the geography of our house. Leaving the light on is probably as good an idea as any and I’ll try it when the time comes.

Or may be before you need it? My poor husband went through weeks...or more probably months...of wandering...and it all meant months of waking for me. Now, he sometimes gets lost...but more often now, when returning from the loo...because of course, every other room is dark.

 

[Selinacroft]

Thanks but all the lights were already on - dad's room, kitchen and bathroom .
Carer is just putting a convene on him as nurse ordered them ages ago but he refused. He is accepting it now but I fear he will rip it off before long- we shall see.

 

[love.dad.but..]

The inappropriate seeing phase lasted quite a while for dad and when it started at home and then gathered pace in his nursing home unfortunately a solution was never found as his understanding of what where and why a toilet gradually was lost completely. Naming the door,

 

[love.dad.but..]

Oops hadn't finished. Naming the door, lights etc made no difference. In the earlier part of this phase dad would go in a container ...plant pot, bin, sink, seats, fridge...yes yuk! So his brain was computing he needed to look for a container just not the right one. Then it was more corridors, wardrobe, corner of room, behind curtain etc. He was speedy and could still operate trousers well, even being taken to toilet and supervised within 10 mins he would pee again elsewhere. I felt like toilet monitor. As he declined further he would stand up, take a few paces, fiddle with his trousers and then forget why he had got up by which time he had gone in his pull ups,he was pretty much doubly incontinent by now. If we tried to move him to toilet mid stream if we caught him, he would get angry which I can understand, I wouldn't want to have to move after I had started. The staff were very good, cleaning protocol good...men more than women do it apparently, suppose easier. Dad had an enlarged protrate which can increase urination he had tablets but made no difference but may be worth a trip to GP. Tbh sorry to be pessimistic it is mortifying to see the lack of understanding for such a basic function but I thought with dad it was just the path taking towards incontinence for some, relatives in the home of those who didn't inappropriately pee never understood why dad couldn't stop and I wished with all my heart for dad and everyone else that he had moved into full incontinence quickly, the in between stage is horrible...however it was two years. I and the NH staff didn't have any answers especially with a determined dad.

 

[Bunpoots]

I'm sorry I have no solution. I'm another who is dreading this phase. My dad doesn't live with me but often visits. I think I'll be putting locks on all the doors that don't lead to the toilet!! Including the fridge...hadn't thought of that one!
I do feel for you. Dad often misses the toilet and his bathroom stinks, not helped because he insists on having carpet down. Washing the carpet regularly helps a little, as does changing the pedestal mat daily. He also has little accidents and doesn't seem to have any idea about odour... But he's still embarrassed by it...

 

[Selinacroft]

Hi Love.dad.but- did you ever try a convene with your dad? I have every expectation he will rip it off when he needs it most- in his pottiest time of day -that is evening/night time. He seems
settled now but usually is at this time.
I know what you mean- last week I was dealing with Dad being to drowsy and unable to wake up, this week he is more awake but trouble down below. It is an awful thing to say but he is easier to deal with when he stays in bed.
I'm not trying to wish for further decline but this is probably the worst to deal with as when he is in "potty phase " at night I can point him to commode /toilet or offer to change pad and all is met with fearse and determined resistence and protests of "leave me alone" , "no, no.no. no" "why, why, why" and "get out of my way".
Yes there is a whiff around- I am sticking to my guns though- it will be cheaper to replace flooring in the future than to sell the house to pay for care home. I am glad thought that I have booked the cavalry and have a half hour carer visit due in the evening so they can handle/attempt the convene.
Perhaps if I get him to bed an hour before they come , he may be sleepy and less resistent. I will have to try multiple tactics and times.
Dad also has enlarged prostate and on Tamsolusin for that already.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hi Love.dad.but- did you ever try a convene with your dad? I have every expectation he will rip it off when he needs it most- in his pottiest time of day -that is evening/night time. He seems
settled now but usually is at this time.
I know what you mean- last week I was dealing with Dad being to drowsy and unable to wake up, this week he is more awake but trouble down below. It is an awful thing to say but he is easier to deal with when he stays in bed.
I'm not trying to wish for further decline but this is probably the worst to deal with as when he is in "potty phase " at night I can point him to commode /toilet or offer to change pad and all is met with fearse and determined resistence and protests of "leave me alone" , "no, no.no. no" "why, why, why" and "get out of my way".
Yes there is a whiff around- I am sticking to my guns though- it will be cheaper to replace flooring in the future than to sell the house to pay for care home. I am glad thought that I have booked the cavalry and have a half hour carer visit due in the evening so they can handle/attempt the convene.
Perhaps if I get him to bed an hour before they come , he may be sleepy and less resistent. I will have to try multiple tactics and times.
Dad also has enlarged prostate and on Tamsolusin for that already.

I don't know what a convene is but pads were tried with dad which he wouldn't keep in so pull ups were used and better. I never felt the battle could be won, some things may work early on and you might have some success now and then like prompting if they still have understanding to pee on demand or being taken regularly to the toilet all of which I did but gradually the brain cannot compute what is required. It was a relief when he stopped getting the signal or urge to go but obviously he had declined in many more ways to reach that stage but all of it is inevitable really.

 

[Selinacroft]

Thank you - yes all so very sad and inevitable.
A convene is a bit like a cross between a condom and a catherter- goes over the top rather than inserted inside. Dad has been ok with it all day but that was to be expected- the test will come this evening and tonight.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Ah I see. I don't think dad would have kept that in place but wish you lots of luck and success