DEMENTIA-ISOLATION + Benefit of the Doubt

[Norrms]

Dementia-Isolation + Benefit of the Doubt


Hiya all, this might not sit right with some, and for that I apologise, but here goes anyway as I have always spoken from the heart.

In any illness isolation is an awful thing, but with dementia even more so, because over time, and as the disease progresses a person with dementia becomes more and more isolated, and sadly, sometimes, this comes from those around you. I am not talking about those closest to you doing things for you as has been mentioned before, but in general day to day living and decision making. If i am honest there are times i could scream because i am being corrected so many times by others. Not only that, when i am corrected about something i know i am 100% sure of is right, i get that knowing look, that nod, and the weakness in their necks where their head bends to one side and they are thinking Ahhh, must be his dementia SO INFURIATING !!

SOMETIME`s WE GET IT RIGHT"!!!

All too often people, including loved ones are so quick to jump to the conclusion that it cant be right ! because we have dementia, can you imagine how limiting that is, how it feels like not be heard, and even worse, how it feels like not to be believed,

WE HAVE DEMENTIA, WE ARE NOT STUPID !!

All i am asking, and this is from personal experience, is please think about what you are going to say first, but most of all please listen to what we are saying and give us the benefit of the doubt as you would to others, please don't take away our voice, our opinion and our very own self-worth

Norrms Mc Namara
Diagnosed with dementia and still fighting it every day

 

[Sandy63]

Norms your post is very insightful and helpful to others. Thank you.

My mum has Alzheimers and I will make sure that I don't make the same mistakes that make you so annoyed.My mum knows that there is something wrong with her memory and I try to cope with this the best way that I can without treating her childishly or always thinking that its the Alzheimers speaking. Dignity and love first and foremost at the moment.

Thanks again

 

[karaokePete]

Norrms, I so agree with you. I quickly learned that my wife was delighted to still be able to get things right and contribute, even in the midst of her increasing confusion. I try to make sure to let her know that we are still a team and that sometimes she is even better than me and can keep me right. I just hope that I don't do it in a patronising way as that isn't intended.
After all, the person is still there, isn't that so?

 

[Amethyst59]

Dementia-Isolation + Benefit of the Doubt


Hiya all, this might not sit right with some, and for that I apologise, but here goes anyway as I have always spoken from the heart.

In any illness isolation is an awful thing, but with dementia even more so, because over time, and as the disease progresses a person with dementia becomes more and more isolated, and sadly, sometimes, this comes from those around you. I am not talking about those closest to you doing things for you as has been mentioned before, but in general day to day living and decision making. If i am honest there are times i could scream because i am being corrected so many times by others. Not only that, when i am corrected about something i know i am 100% sure of is right, i get that knowing look, that nod, and the weakness in their necks where their head bends to one side and they are thinking Ahhh, must be his dementia SO INFURIATING !!

SOMETIME`s WE GET IT RIGHT"!!!

All too often people, including loved ones are so quick to jump to the conclusion that it cant be right ! because we have dementia, can you imagine how limiting that is, how it feels like not be heard, and even worse, how it feels like not to be believed,

WE HAVE DEMENTIA, WE ARE NOT STUPID !!

All i am asking, and this is from personal experience, is please think about what you are going to say first, but most of all please listen to what we are saying and give us the benefit of the doubt as you would to others, please don't take away our voice, our opinion and our very own self-worth

Norrms Mc Namara
Diagnosed with dementia and still fighting it every day

Thank you, Norrms, this is a timely reminder to all of us.

 

[Norrms]

Norms your post is very insightful and helpful to others. Thank you.

My mum has Alzheimers and I will make sure that I don't make the same mistakes that make you so annoyed.My mum knows that there is something wrong with her memory and I try to cope with this the best way that I can without treating her childishly or always thinking that its the Alzheimers speaking. Dignity and love first and foremost at the moment.

Thanks again

Thank you so m much xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Norrms]

Norrms, I so agree with you. I quickly learned that my wife was delighted to still be able to get things right and contribute, even in the midst of her increasing confusion. I try to make sure to let her know that we are still a team and that sometimes she is even better than me and can keep me right. I just hope that I don't do it in a patronising way as that isn't intended.
After all, the person is still there, isn't that so?

Thank younxxxxxx

 

[Norrms]

Thank you, Norrms, this is a timely reminder to all of us.

Thank you xxxxx

 

[Norrms]

Thanknyou all so much xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jolean]

Well Norma what can I say, other than a big thank you for taking time to give us an insight to your feelings. We tend to forget that this journey is not only ours it is a joint or even a group journey. And maybe sometimes we need reminding of this, you have opened my eyes and I will certainly from now on give my husband the chance to step forward and I will also greatly take advice and support from him. I suppose sometimes we can separate ourselves from the condition but we are all human and we need to stand together. I admit your strength and I feel as if you have taken a weight off my shoulders.

Good luck and keep that chin up. X

 

[Jolean]

Sorry the spell check corrected your name 'NORMMS ' even computers don't listen x so it is not a woman thing ha ha

 

[nae sporran]

l know what Pete is saying, when I speak more slowly to let C understand it does feel like I'm treating her like an idiot which is not the intention. Sorry you're not getting a chance to speak Norm, very frustrating.

 

[Norrms]

Well Norma what can I say, other than a big thank you for taking time to give us an insight to your feelings. We tend to forget that this journey is not only ours it is a joint or even a group journey. And maybe sometimes we need reminding of this, you have opened my eyes and I will certainly from now on give my husband the chance to step forward and I will also greatly take advice and support from him. I suppose sometimes we can separate ourselves from the condition but we are all human and we need to stand together. I admit your strength and I feel as if you have taken a weight off my shoulders.

Good luck and keep that chin up. X

Thank you so much xxx

 

[Norrms]

l know what Pete is saying, when I speak more slowly to let C understand it does feel like I'm treating her like an idiot which is not the intention. Sorry you're not getting a chance to speak Norm, very frustrating.

Thank you so much

 

[Norrms]

l know what Pete is saying, when I speak more slowly to let C understand it does feel like I'm treating her like an idiot which is not the intention. Sorry you're not getting a chance to speak Norm, very frustrating.

Thank you so much