My lovely husband and my mom are both in care homes, both happy and settled although strangely both have sore eyes. Today I went to the office - I normally work just a few hours each week from home. Took 1.5 hours to get there, fairly pointless meeting and an hour to get home. I then went to see my husband. His eyes were less sore, he was his normal happy self for 40 minutes - better than he has been for a few days but then he got tired so I came away. I visit every day. So he is safe, content, happy. Why am I crying? I can barely see to type.
why am i crying today?
- Thread starter irismary
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You are crying because you are crying. Nothing wrong with crying. It helps me. Sometimes when caring for mum, I had no idea why I was crying, I just "felt better" the next day. Hope that's the situation for you
Squishy hug xxxxx
Because you have been through a very very hard time, and although the immediate, urgent stress has been alleviated, you now have the space to grieve for what Dementia has robbed you, your husband and your mum of? Your shared future, memories not yet made, your life together. The "happy ever after". It's not supposed to go like this.
You have a lot to grieve over, @irismary. You need to grieve. xx
You have a lot to grieve over, @irismary. You need to grieve. xx
@irismary don't feel bad about crying. I had a day like that on Monday. Leaky eyes all day and I'd thought I'd been coping so well with my husband's diagnosis. Our emotions seem to have a habit of creeping up on us when you least expect them. I am lucky that I've got a lot of very good friends who don't mind me making their shoulder soggy. I hope you've got someone too who is willing to pass you the tissues and give you a hug.
You have been going through a traumatic time, and although mum and hubby may well be settled, of course the trauma is not over for you and you'll be battling a range of emotions including shock, relief, sadness, loneliness and many more besides.
You have every right and every reason to cry. Think of it as releasing a pressure valve - it's something that needs to be done.
Thinking of you xx
You have every right and every reason to cry. Think of it as releasing a pressure valve - it's something that needs to be done.
Thinking of you xx
My mum used to say it puts the salt balance back to right when you cry ,and calms you down and I do believe that.xx
I had a day like that last week...tears just pouring all day...and part of the next day too...it is grieving..and it is supposed to be healthier to cry it out. Practical tip...when my husband died and I needed to go to work...I used to use Preparation H (other creams are available!) to reduce the swelling on my eyes. (No worries...it was a new tube!).
Come and get sympathy here any time...I did...and it really helps. We know what you are going through, even though every story is a little different.
Come and get sympathy here any time...I did...and it really helps. We know what you are going through, even though every story is a little different.
Used by top models and celebrities, Amethyst! A little dab under the eyes is well known for helping reduce eye bags!
Thank you all for your replies and support. Comfort eating - chocolate cake - and a laugh when I googled Preparation H and I feel more myself. xx
A good cry relieves all the pent up stress we have to endure daily caring and watching our loved ones struggle with this awful disease. Although my mum is being well cared for in a lovely care home, I still shed a tear or more each day I leave her. It is all part of our ongoing grief we experience every day and our emotions being all all over the place. We are all here to support one another and share our feelings so please there is nothing wrong in having a good cry.
Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a good heart
Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a good heart
It is a rare occurance for me to cry...I am really happy my children can cry and show emotion freely. I did tell them it was ok to cry...even if I cannot practice it myself. My 'go too' emotion is anger...but I am better than I used to be. I am not as angry as I was at the beginning of this whole Alzheimer's life....it still flares up for time to time. I feel dealing with Alzheimer's has become my life school, forcing me to behave better and strive to be a better person. How do I learn to be a less angry person, how do I learn to be a patient and kind person, not just sometimes but most of the time. How do I learn to live a life of grace and dignity and allow my OH grace and dignity, as much as possible in the time I have left in my life. (I do a really bad job of this and writing this out makes me aware...how much work there is to do!!) Thanks Am, Lady and Margarita- you are always giving me food for thought.
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Your post reminds me so much of a book I read as a teenager. It was a modern transcript of a medieval religious ...well, a sort of a diary, I think. But it wasn't religious...umm, I'm not explaining this very well. I'm almost sure it was called Brother Lawrence. It influenced me so much. I am not at home now, but I will look for it later. You might find it interesting.
Ah, I have just looked it up on google...it is still available...but it is called 'The practice of the presence of God...now I was very religious at the time, but I remember it more as a manual for getting on with my fellow man, than a religious tract!
Hi AM, Had a look at Brother Lawrence on line. Could be helpful....I wash a lot of dishes....
Thanks for the suggestions. Cheers. PS
Thanks for the suggestions. Cheers. PS
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