Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Clearing up from dinner ...

Mum, I'm putting this in the recycling
But I've put it for the bin
Yes, but it's recycling
I know
(Deep breath) I'm taking it out of the bin & putting it in the recycling
I did that already
(Arrrggghhh) is this plastic mum
Yes
So it's recycling
Yes
So I'm putting it in the recycling ok

Why do I have the conversation? Why not just do it? Simple, if I just do it, mum gets REALLY cross, if I tell her, she's just cross

 

[Sam Luvit]

It's been a really busy day today. I went into work, even though I didn't want to, but I'm glad I did.

Someone came to the office looking for info on his daughter joining a group to help others, while explaining that I'm "just a volunteer" & I'm with the homeless side, he asked if we needed any help

People are amazing.

He was a successful business man, came home one day to find his wife had left taking everything out of the house. Everything. Not a stick of furniture left. She'd cleared the bank account, not paid the mortgage & his house, then work vans were repossessed. So, he couldn't get to work, no tools so couldn't work & found himself on the streets (it's more common than you think). He's clawed himself back up, now has a "dingy bedsit" & is building up a client base again

You know what's amazing?

After all that, he wants to know how to get involved & volunteer with the homeless . Made me tear up if I'm honest

So, I then pick up my niece to sort my hair (for Ireland) & she's done a rubbish job of it. Qualified hairdresser, blooming sorry for her place if work. Too late to do anything about it

Take my brother fishing, it's rained a fair bit, so muddy field was fun, not. Heavy traffic, so pretty fed up by the time I got home.

Mum wanted to take me out for a meal, but I cried off & she agreed to a big take away , which was yummy

Took the dog out for his walk & bumped into one of the neighbours (nice lady), so we chatted about nothing & walked our dogs together

Back home & I got out Lactofree chocolate moose, Lactofree cream & brandy, laced the moose with brandy, covered in cream & sang Happy Birthday to myself. Mum laughed loads

It may not be everyone's ideal day, but it was mine

Mums gone to bed grinning away & I'm sat smiling

I'll take low key happy & silly over any other type of day

 

[rosy18]

Sam was it really your birthday ?
If so belated birthday wishes. I'd make you a lovely card on here if only I knew how
Pleased to read all in all today has been a good day especially if it was your birthday and sounds like your Mum enjoyed it too

 

[DollyBird16]

Hi
Me crashing in again.
That seems to be the way I am operating at that moment, just crashing into the next thing.
Sam you made me smile with Mum and her friend story you should be the script writer.
You've defiantly had a real week of it.
The neighbour sounds like a real idiot (I'm being polite - I have stronger words)
Happy Birthday to you, glad you spoiled yourself with extravagant dessert, if my Mum had of been with you she would have sung along and given you many hugs and kisses.
It's her thing at the moment.
I send you big hugs and huge birthday wishes.
Rosy, how do you overcome the tablet trauma? My Mum is hiding hers saying she has taken them.
Off to work I go Think of the money is what I say.
Have a good day everyone. X

 

[Earthgirl72]

Happy belated birthday for yesterday Sam. Glad you had a nice low key and silly happy day

sam x

 

[jugglingmum]

Happy Belated birthday JM xxx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sam was it really your birthday ?
If so belated birthday wishes. I'd make you a lovely card on here if only I knew how
Pleased to read all in all today has been a good day especially if it was your birthday and sounds like your Mum enjoyed it too

Oh yes, another year gone by , thank you, I'll imagine a beautiful card

It was a good day, we are off to sunny Eastbourne soon, mum says she wants a wander round the shops. I think it's just an excuse to find a different cafe

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi
Me crashing in again.
That seems to be the way I am operating at that moment, just crashing into the next thing.
Sam you made me smile with Mum and her friend story you should be the script writer.
You've defiantly had a real week of it.
The neighbour sounds like a real idiot (I'm being polite - I have stronger words)
Happy Birthday to you, glad you spoiled yourself with extravagant dessert, if my Mum had of been with you she would have sung along and given you many hugs and kisses.
It's her thing at the moment.
I send you big hugs and huge birthday wishes.
Rosy, how do you overcome the tablet trauma? My Mum is hiding hers saying she has taken them.
Off to work I go Think of the money is what I say.
Have a good day everyone. X

Hi Dolly

You crash away sweetheart, one of us will catch you , it's what we've gotten good at here. I have periods of crashing into one wall after another, I find Helps

Mum & D either drive me round the bend, or have me in fits. I thought sharing their latest side splitting meeting might make you all smile. We can all do with a few smiles, hugs & giggles in our alternative universe

I've started an email to that eejits landlord (another one), so I'll let myself calm down, then send it off, but I'll do it when I'm back from Ireland, as if he knows I'm not there, he will be round hammering in mums door again. He's a real bully

Hugs, kisses & silly singing accepted , I think I'll get a few more off youngest when I see him next week . It's the little things that keep us going .

Group hug, just because we can

 

[Sam Luvit]

Happy belated birthday for yesterday Sam. Glad you had a nice low key and silly happy day

sam x

Thank you Earthgirl . It was a "go with the flow" day, it worked out much better than anything we could have planned

Hope all good with you, have you found anything your dad will join in with?

 

[Sam Luvit]

Happy Belated birthday JM xxx

Thanks JM, hope the cycling is still going well & work is less full on

 

[MollyD]

I caught up on some of your thread this morning, Sam. Wishing you a belated happy birthday.☺

I'm sorry you and your mum are having such a tough time with your neighbour too, as though you haven't enough to be dealing with.

Hugs and I'm sorry I'm not keeping up with things here or supporting you (for whatever it'd be worth anyhow).

I won't be going to Kilkenny, things are too day by day manically and unpredictably busy here (I'm not dealing with dementia, which I'm grateful for, but it's headwrecking at times nonetheless and emotional).

Sending you all a big hug and really hope you enjoy the trip and meet up. X

 

[Sam Luvit]

I caught up on some of your thread this morning, Sam. Wishing you a belated happy birthday.☺

I'm sorry you and your mum are having such a tough time with your neighbour too, as though you haven't enough to be dealing with.

Hugs and I'm sorry I'm not keeping up with things here or supporting you (for whatever it'd be worth anyhow).

I won't be going to Kilkenny, things are too day by day manically and unpredictably busy here (I'm not dealing with dementia, which I'm grateful for, but it's headwrecking at times nonetheless and emotional).

Sending you all a big hug and really hope you enjoy the trip and meet up. X

Hi Molly

It's good to see you, thank you for the good wishes

You have supported many of us, it's our time to support you. Drop in any time, you are more than welcome

I am sorry I won't get to meet you this time, but with family over your neck of the woods, I may yet manage it

Take it slow, do what you feel you can & take all the help you are offered or can grab. I can't imagine your feelings with selling your family home, but in time, as others have said, you may be in a place where you can imagine your mum being there, but at a happier time. That wouod be my wish for you

Just need to stay awake long enough to get everything sorted for Ireland & then stay awake through it

 

[Slugsta]

Evening all,

Sam, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! I'm glad you had a nice day and wish you many more of the same (((hugs)))

Your story about your mum and D did make me smile

I hope you have a lovely craic in Ireland.

Rosy, I'm glad you have had some adult company - but very sorry that you are having trouble getting your mum to take her meds

Mum was alert but quiet again today, she seems to have 'decided' not to try and talk but to communicate via facial expressions. She enjoyed some chocolate and cake while we were there, I know she's OK as long as she does that

The weather has been very nice here today. Now hubby and I are watching TV in bed, both cats are on the bed with us and we have bottles of spiced rum and coke to hand

 

[Sam Luvit]

. Now hubby and I are watching TV in bed, both cats are on the bed with us and we have bottles of spiced rum and coke to hand

Evening Slugsta

Thank you, it was a good day, I'll take any good days I can get. We've had a few, but yesterday was really good . So many little things, but good feelings

I'm hoping the craic is good too. First time I got asked "how's the crack?" I was seriously worried about what I'd got myself into I doubt I'm the only person to have had a sinking feeling at hearing that phrase

Mum & D , either making everyone or there's no in between with those 2. Recently it's been lots of laughter, but we've had a few months if D telling mum I should go get a job, stop sponging off mum etc. as you can imagine, mum has then come back telling me I need to sort myself out I'm glad it's laughs ATM

Chocolate cake & smiles, makes it worth the trips . Obviously a fighter your mum

Err hum ... pass the spiced please, I rather fancy a sip

 

[Margi29]

Firstly a big belated happy birthday Sam, I've only just started to read through latest thread and saw post

In between mum, grandchildren and work I've not had time for anything

Enjoy Ireland Sam, I'm sure they will love you, and also enjoy the precious time with your son x
In reply about that nasty neighbour, I won't comment on here !! Speak to you later

Sorry about your mum being naughty in taking tablets Rosy, in my mums case, she either takes too many or none for days, or I find them crushed up somewhere

Thinking of you and your mum Slugsta, chocolate cake is the best medicine sometimes x

Having heard TP is going to be off for a while??? I thought I'd do a quick post about my holiday it was just what the doctor ordered, absolutely beautiful island in Greece, it gave oh and myself time for us instead of dementia etc...

Each day phone calls off mum though !! In fact the same conversation as always.....
Where's my bank book ?? I want you round here now!! I've no money!!!

One day I was in an area where donkeys are wandering or running up and down the streets, having just spoke to mum and explained I was still in Greece, she rang five minutes later saying ' are you back?? '

While explaining yet again, I was very nearly run over by an adventurous fast donkey,
I have a feeling that would have been a first in news ' death of woman chatting on mobile when donkey splattered her into ground '

Since coming home mum is relentless in phone calls I've been to see her, taken her shopping etc... now it's Saturday morning and feel shattered ( up to 6 phone calls in 30 minutes)

It's awful, am I the only one who thinks STOP RINGING ??
But I also know the day mum stops ringing I will be desperate to hear her voice

Tomorrow is another day, best wishes to you all x

 

[Earthgirl72]

Thank you Earthgirl . It was a "go with the flow" day, it worked out much better than anything we could have planned

Hope all good with you, have you found anything your dad will join in with?

Well... After the initial reluctance to go to the daycentre due to his being too young he's happily going once a week and has made a new friend! He looks forward to going and is even considering adding an extra day through the winter. We shall see if that happens I suppose.

Other than that, it's pretty much been on an even keel - well as much of an even keel as you can have with vascular dementia. For example, I had a telephone conversation the other day that went like this:

Me: So what time shall I come down?
Dad: *long pause* THERE ARE CHILDREN!
Me:
Dad: THERE ARE CHILDREN COMING OVER THE MOUNTAIN PASS!
Me: ---

Thankfully, it was just something on the tv and no mountain pass had opened up in dad's cul de sac

 

[Slugsta]

Evening all,

Phew, I bet that was a relief Earthgirl! I'm glad your dad is now happily going to DC.

Sam, I hope you get away on tome and have a good journey to the Emerald Isle

Welcome home Margi - although I am sorry that the phonecalls are so relentless

 

[Sam Luvit]

Well... After the initial reluctance to go to the daycentre due to his being too young he's happily going once a week and has made a new friend! He looks forward to going and is even considering adding an extra day through the winter. We shall see if that happens I suppose.

Other than that, it's pretty much been on an even keel - well as much of an even keel as you can have with vascular dementia. For example, I had a telephone conversation the other day that went like this:

Me: So what time shall I come down?
Dad: *long pause* THERE ARE CHILDREN!
Me:
Dad: THERE ARE CHILDREN COMING OVER THE MOUNTAIN PASS!
Me: ---

Thankfully, it was just something on the tv and no mountain pass had opened up in dad's cul de sac

Hi Earthgirl

That is good news about your dad. Making a friend is the best way to keep him going, if he adds a day later, it will give you a bit of space to breath

I'm now trying to think of a film with children coming over the mountain pass & can only think of "The Sound of Music" . Anyone else got a better idea?

I know it isn't "funny" but in a way, it's the new "game" we play of trying to work out what our loved ones mean

 

[Sam Luvit]

In between mum, grandchildren and work I've not had time for anything

Enjoy Ireland Sam, I'm sure they will love you, and also enjoy the precious time with your son x
In reply about that nasty neighbour, I won't comment on here !! Speak to you later

Having heard TP is going to be off for a while??? I thought I'd do a quick post about my holiday it was just what the doctor ordered, absolutely beautiful island in Greece, it gave oh and myself time for us instead of dementia etc...

Each day phone calls off mum though !! In fact the same conversation as always.....
Where's my bank book ?? I want you round here now!! I've no money!!!

One day I was in an area where donkeys are wandering or running up and down the streets, having just spoke to mum and explained I was still in Greece, she rang five minutes later saying ' are you back?? '

While explaining yet again, I was very nearly run over by an adventurous fast donkey,
I have a feeling that would have been a first in news ' death of woman chatting on mobile when donkey splattered her into ground '

Since coming home mum is relentless in phone calls I've been to see her, taken her shopping etc... now it's Saturday morning and feel shattered ( up to 6 phone calls in 30 minutes)

It's awful, am I the only one who thinks STOP RINGING ??
But I also know the day mum stops ringing I will be desperate to hear her voice

Tomorrow is another day, best wishes to you all x

Hi Margi

Welcome back , I'm sure you do wish you were still there, but it's nice that you are here with us . Sorry, I was struggling to be awake, while trying to be quiet as mum was asleep. Not sleeping well & maybe had 6 hours sleep in the last 48 hrs, so I hope I made some sort of sense.

I thought you were going to turn your phone off while you were away?? I keep hoping your mum will move on from "where's my money?" , but seems you will have that for a while yet. I think we all need to get our thinking caps on & see if we can come up with a coping strategy for you, before you are rocking in a corner we don't want to be reading of freak accidents with donkeys

I may sleep through Ireland at this rate, so long as I can drag myself to the airport, I should be fine. I'll take a few books , then I can read if I can't find anyone . Got to plan lol.

As for kno**y neighbour, karma will get him one day. Just hope I get to see it. Alternatively I may look into harassment or an injunction. It's that fine balance between wanting to cause max pain & wanting to stop mum worrying not easy

I know what you mean. You want the phone calls to stop, but not for your mum to stop talking, just for her to move onto something that's easier to cope with. When mum gets her lemon face on, I want to walk away, but I also know (very deep down) that it's because she's scared, so I can't

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sam, I hope you get away on tome and have a good journey to the Emerald Isle

Hi Slugsta

I'm sleeping so little ATM that I'm a little worried I'll oversleep & miss the plane , I must get packed tomorrow & work out if I'm missing anything , shops only open till 4, so I need to get my act together