Heavens to Murgatroyd. Nurse on overdrive!

[DeborahBlythe]

Any thoughts on this?

I arrived quite late in the day to see my mum today, about 5.50pm. Supper is usually served around 5.30pm and my mum's is served in her room. I was checking her nutrition sheet to see if she had already had her supper when the nurse in charge, B, popped her head around the door. " I thought you might be wondering if your mum had been fed and I wanted to tell you that everything is a bit late-running today".

I'm not very keen on B, but recently she has seemed more proactive and responsive to my concerns. I wasn't particularly vexed about the lack of supper for my mum because she had eaten well at breakfast and lunch and she seemed quite bright. She did say she was hungry, so I fed her a little chocolate to stave off the pangs.

After a further ten minutes elapsed and no food appeared I went downstairs to the kitchen to see what was happening and to collect my mum's belated supper, if possible. The tray had not been prepared but at my appearance dishes were assembled and drink poured for her. I took the trayload back upstairs and started feeding my mum.

After five minutes B appeared and asked who had brought the tray up. I said I had fetched it myself. I was not too worried about the lateness, as I said. B sped off and ten minutes later, she reappeared with FOUR carers in tow. She marched them all into my mum's room and said to me " There they are. Four of them! Any of them could have come and fed your mum" Then turning to the carers she said " What have you got to say to Deborah and to me?"

They looked a bit sheepish but the first one into the room, M, was angry with me. " We were doing all the other rooms, Deborah, and the trolleys. We have other duties as well"

I was a bit flabbergasted. I think B had expected me to round on them and tick them all off but today I was feeling reasonably benign and understanding. I had to calm M down and assure her that I knew she would have come around eventually.

One of the carers, N, said sorry to me and thanked B for letting them all know that my mum hadn't been fed. " No, no", B replied to her. " You should say sorry to me too!" I think I let B down by not backing her up on this but my mum had stopped eating in astonishment and I just wanted them all to buzz off and get on with their duties. I looked at them and said ' It's not a problem, don't worry' but afterwards I thought, 'Oh heck, no one will bother to feed her tomorrow evening on the strength of my feebleness tonight...'

What was all that about?

 

[Grannie G]

What was all that about? ::

My suspicions are always aroused when people make much ado, not about nothing, but about something that was not as serious as they made it seem. Sorry Deborah, I wouldn`t want to add to your troubles but B seemed to have guilt written all over her.

Love xx

 

[Tender Face]

'Oh heck, no one will bother to feed her tomorrow evening on the strength of my feebleness tonight...'

Quite the reverse, Deborah. Think you have made a point in very non-confrontational yet humbling way.

I know once I muttered 'formal complaint' to hospital staff I could see nurses visibly shaking in their boots every time I approached mum's ward, in spite of me reassuring I had nothing but glowing praise for the nursing and auxilliary staff ..... so sad it has to come to someone ,'making a bit of a fuss' or however anyone views it .... if your mum hadn't had you there this evening - perhaps she might never have got supper? How many other poor souls have missed meals?

Interestingly I encountered a 'Nurse B' I didn't immediately take to .... at the end I realised she was actually totally on my side and placed in a position where she was compromised by those she reported to .... when actually she was very much on the 'patients'/carers' side .... just a thought ....

In answer to insidious comments like M's ... my retort wold be: 'But my mum is the most important person in the world' - of course we know so is everyone else's loved one .... but they should respect our right to stamp our feet and declare it! And if anyone referred to my mother - even indirectly - as a 'duty' I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions!!!!!!

Well done Deborah doing right for your mum as always ........ sadly, yet another 'incident' which highlights what may happen to those who don't have someone 'fighting their corner' ......

Love, Karen, x

 

[Skye]

Hi Deborah

Confusing situation, but my reading would be that there are issues between the nurse and the carers. And that perhaps the nurse is unsure of her authority.

There's a similar situation with one of the nurses in John's unit. She's an immigrant, and was initially employed as a carer. She then took a course and got her RMN -- I assume she was a nurse before.

Some of the carers resent her, because they say 'we taught her her job', so she becomes very bossy, gives orders, sends them on a job before they've finished the previous one, and generally gets their backs up. But she's settling down, and is in fact a good nurse.

I'd keep out of any disputes, and try to stay on friendly terms with all the staff. After all, they're working together, and will probably resolve any dispute.

As for the meals, I feed John every day. The food comes through in a heated trolley for the carers to serve. When the trolley arrives, I go and see what's available, and choose what I think John would like. Even the chef has said that's a good idea, he'd rather I chose myself than complained later.

The carers like that too, because there are so many people who have to be fed, it takes time to get round them all.

I know you probably can't do that on a regular basis if you're working, but perhaps you could have an arrangement with them that if you are there at mealtimes you'll be responsible for collecting your mum's food?

I wouldn't worry about them not feeding your mum, I imagine they'll all be anxious to avoid a repetition, and will make sure she's fef promptly.

 

[TLJ]

...so sorry for the hassle you had.
Why do people insist on making such a problem out of so little?
All that matters is that your mum, and yourself, are happy with the care she receives. That should be the only concern of the nurse or whoever is in charge.
She embarrassed you and her staff and, of course, herself.
She should have apologised gently for any inconvenience to assure you of the ongoing care for your mum.
Bloody people!!!
Don't worry.....you hold the cards with the threat of reporting them to CSCI if you are not happy.
Hang on in there!
love
TLJ

 

[Lynne]

... you hold the cards with the threat of reporting them to CSCI if you are not happy.

Sadly, a hollow threat I fear!