Had enough today.

[rosy18]

TG Lavender I've been holding my breath worrying that it wouldn't happen.
The relief you must feel talk about a roller coaster. I am just soooo chuffed for you and your dear Mum xx

I have to say when I took Mum to the loo at 3am in the morning and was then wide awake listening once again to the wind howling I was thinking of you and your tooth brush obsession and I was wondering if you would like me to get in touch with the priory. I've read all the stars go there with their addictions to try and get help and have quite a good success rate and really you're halfway there having admitted you do have a problem !!
Your dentist must be well pleased with you your teeth must be spotlessxx

Hope everyone's having a decent evening. All's quiet here with Mum fast asleep.xx

 

[Lavender45]

Ah Rosy it's gone too far, my toothbrush addiction had been with me for 20 years or more. I just couldn't give it up. I've even bought electric toothbrushes, but the pull of that toothbrush aisle is just too great. . Xxx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Good news! The funding had been approved for 2 weeks and mum moves to PC on Monday. Her care will be reviewed after 2 weeks as they are hoping to take away the one to one support. It's a huge relief.
. X

Brilliant news Lavender

 

[Pollytickle]

*Mother struggles to do...something!...who knows what *

Me: "what do you want; can I get it?"
Her: says nothing, carrying on doing what she was doing
Me: "what are you doing; can I help?" a bit louder
Her: no response, no acknowledgement, carries on
Me: "MUM!"

Obviously it goes on for ages, usually she gets annoyed & tells me not to shout at her like that. This morning, it was much worse as she stretched across the room for ^#~< knows what...and she falls. Of course, it's my fault...

I am SO bluddin angry, with me for loosing my cool, for her blaming me as she has done all my life, & this piggin' illness & the effect it has on not just the patient, but also those who are trying their best to help them.

Excuse me; I need to kick something inert till my feet hurt, so I have a valid excuse for my tears

 

[jorgieporgie]

Morning Ladies,
Oh my internet was down all day yesterday and last night, its just come on I don't know if it had anything to do with the bad winds the night before. So I have just caught up with the all your posts.
Good news at last Lavender, I hope all goes smoothly on Monday with the move to PC for your Mum, she and yourself so deserve this break. x
Pollytickle we all have been there, just let off steam on here. I actually think the carer suffers more than the patient as we have to watch them suffering, big hugs for you xx
Hope you all have a manageable weekend, its pouring down with rain again here and I was nearly tempted to put the central heating on last night.
Rosy ten days to hols and counting, need some sun on my arthritus
Hugs to you all xxx

 

[Lavender45]

Hi everyone

The tribunal went ahead, it was held in a meeting room and was pretty formal with a judge, a psychiatric consultant who does not know mum and a psychiatric nurse on the panel. Mum wasn't present, but had a solicitor acting for her.

Mum's consultant spoke first, she squeaked and stumbled her way though and struggled to answer questions. At one point the solicitor nudged me and showed me his pad, he'd written the consultant is nervous isn't she. Her performance today was dismal, she keeps telling me she's a very experienced consultant, not based on today's performance she's not. Anyway the upshot is mum remains sectioned. The consultant will rescind the section on Monday when she transfers to PC and they will apply for an emergency DOLS followed by a standard one to ensure they can legally keep her in the home. Looks like all systems are go, roll on Monday. x

 

[Marnie63]

I posted a long update from the hospital the other day and lost it as the wifi cut out in that part of the hospital! Grrr.

Lavender, I'm really pleased to hear your positive news, I hope all goes well for the move on Monday, and I really hope the home works out well for your mum. This is the one closer for you, isn't it?

Monday is a good day for me as well as mum returns home then, all being well. I have been chasing up stuff on the ward and the meds are ready (I've sat for hours before waiting for them during a discharge!) and everything else seems to be in place to happen on Monday. I just need the transport to work out. Because mum has been managing assisted transfers with the rotunda, she will now come home in a wheelchair, which I have been told we can keep. Tick. All the 'services' seem to be coming together well too. I've had several calls from SS who are keen to reassess mum and find out what kind of care package is needed going forward. Good that they have been proactive about this. And on Monday afternoon we are due a visit from the Community Reablement Team and also the owner of our care agency, plus her colleague. I think they will all be checking that we have everything we need in place at home, and that I know what to do with all the equipment. If anyone else wants to visit, assess and help, I'll take whatever is offered!

Yesterday morning was upsetting as mum seemed very drawn and frail, but improved as the day went on. This morning she looked much better, was transferred into an armchair just before lunch, and stayed in it until around half past six, without leaning or looking too tired. Then, amazingly, she did a good transfer back into bed. She managed to stand quite straight. She has been eating very well the last few days so I think that has given her a bit of strength back. I'm hoping and praying that some strength returns to the legs in time. I know she won't return to how she was, but you can't help hoping for more improvements. She has been so calm all the time she's been in hospital, I guess that's because the dementia has progressed after the stroke. I'm hoping the calm remains when she's home and we start our two weeks with the live in carer. This is going to be very bizarre, but also hopefully very helpful in the interim.

I came home tonight feeling quite upbeat, which I haven't felt in weeks. It will be exactly four weeks since the stroke when mum goes home on Monday. Can't help wondering what this new phase will bring, but we definitely are now in a new phase. I think we are now in a new parallel of the dementia universe.

 

[MollyD]

Great news Lavender and Marnie.

Polly sending you a (((hug))).

Hi everyone, wishing you a manageable weekend. X

 

[LadyA]

Molly, how are you?

 

[Marnie63]

Poor mum needs to go back to bed as she's tired, but her bed is broken and no one seems to be too bothered. It's at times like this that I really don't like the NHS. Now I've probably got to stay for a few more hours to get this sorted. I just can't bear this place any more.

Update - am home, someone else passed by and I asked them and they fiddled with the switch and fixed it, well enough so that mum could lie in the bed in a sensible position.

I am absolutely shattered with these hospital visits - 4 weeks now, non stop, every day, practically all day. Last day tomorrow. Mum was so tired tonight they had to hoist her back into bed. I have noticed that some of the staff make more of an effort to support her on the rotunda to do a swift transfer, but others, like tonight's, just let her hang on by herself, and she just couldn't do it. I have looked at buying a contraption which provides support under the bum for assisted transfers. They are very expensive. I will see if the community rehab people can advise on one, but suspect they won't be able to let me have one of those. I don't really want to buy something like that yet, until I know if mum improves any when home.

I have been in touch with the live in carer and am due to pick her up from the station tomorrow, I really hope we get on!

 

[jorgieporgie]

Morning Ladies,
Marnie you really are having a time of it, it must be difficult having a stranger living in after you have been used to just you and your Mum but you do need help and support for a while. I am sure the carer will feel more stranger than you as she is invading your privacy. I am sure you will get on though who couldn't get on with you
Lavender all systems go for you and your Mum too. I bet you will be going to day and getting her packed. The day is finally comming
Well the sun is trying to show its face today but god its cold and very Autumn like, I love Autumn though. Just hope I can get the grass cut soon its looking a bit scruffy with all the recent rain.
Hope you all have a peaceful Sunday. Hugs to all xxxx

 

[rosy18]

Marnie I'm praying all will go well today when you meet your live in carer I'm sure you'll get on well together. I know it will feel strange but I'm sure the extra support for a little while will be a big help for you whilst you get used to the changes.
Just one more night and your dear Mum will be back home xx

Lavender what can I say "At last " I'm praying and keeping everything crossed that the move goes well for your lovely Mum and that hopefully she will settle and find some peace in her new home xx

Polytickle huge ((hug)) coming your way xx

Great to hear from you Mollyd xx

Think we are in for a decent spell of weather so hopefully you will be able to cut your grass before your hols Jorgie xx

Well I had a lovely visit from Harrys'd this morning. I felt like we had always known each other, she's lovely.
Thank you sooooo much for taking the time to call and see Mum and I xx
I haven't a clue on how to post a picture on here so maybe Harrys'd will do that once we've airbrushed them a little......

Have a good day everyone hope you've all got this sunshine we have here.xx

 

[Harrys daughter]

Marnie I'm praying all will go well today when you meet your live in carer I'm sure you'll get on well together. I know it will feel strange but I'm sure the extra support for a little while will be a big help for you whilst you get used to the changes.
Just one more night and your dear Mum will be back home xx

Lavender what can I say "At last " I'm praying and keeping everything crossed that the move goes well for your lovely Mum and that hopefully she will settle and find some peace in her new home xx

Polytickle huge ((hug)) coming your way xx

Great to hear from you Mollyd xx

Think we are in for a decent spell of weather so hopefully you will be able to cut your grass before your hols Jorgie xx

Well I had a lovely visit from Harrys'd this morning. I felt like we had always known each other, she's lovely.
Thank you sooooo much for taking the time to call and see Mum and I xx
I haven't a clue on how to post a picture on here so maybe Harrys'd will do that once we've airbrushed them a little......

Have a good day everyone hope you've all got this sunshine we have here.xx

Rosy thanks for making me feel at home it has been a emotional time meeting our wonderful tp familys and lavender too it's like iv known you both and jp for yrs we have shared so much together on here xxx a big thankyou xxx

 

[Harrys daughter]

Trying to upload photos

 

[Harrys daughter]

Trying to upload photos

Grrrr

 

[rosy18]

Harrys'd it really was great to meet in person. Our TP family is so important. I dread to think where I would be without it.

What a lovely picture of you and Lavender

 

[Lavender45]

Quick pop in. Marnie I hope today goes smoothly for you and your mum. Rosy your photo is lovely, I hope your mum is up to going to singing for the brain later. Everyone else I hope it's a good day, or at the very least an OK one. Take care everyone. Xxx

 

[MollyD]

All the very best today, Marnie. I do hope it all goes smoothly for you and your mum.

Really pleased to read progress is still being made in your ongoing marathon too, Lavender. Long may it last. X

Rosy and Polly, hope your day is manageable.

Sending everyone big hugs, Jorgie, HarryD, Sam and anyone who reads and posts here.

LadyA, I'm ok, thanks for asking. It's been a madly busy and stressful time but it's doable so far and there is lots of support.

Our family home, where I currently live, is now up for sale. I've put my cottage up for sale too. Between travelling to paint and clean that and cleaning and decluttering mum's for weekly viewings, it's been full throttle. Then I travelled with my sister in law to Wexford to see about buying a house there down the line. We drove and drove and poked around dozens of estates or anywhere we saw For Sale signs. Visited about 9 estate agents. Then dealing with two separate agents for mum's house and my cottage, I'm spinning like a headless dervish.

I've started a two year fetac 5 community care course. It's part time, one day a week. So far that is proving to be a break from everything!

When the For Sale sign went up I'd been at the shops so only saw it on my return. I'd been in a needs must robotic busy mode with just weepy moments. But that just socked me at the core. I howled for hours and hours. Two neighbours rang when they saw it to see how I was, I couldn't even pull myself together speaking to them. One I don't know very well but I bawled down the phone to him. People have been very kind. It's easy to overlook how it impacts an ever increasing circle of people, mum's death and the ensuing change. Mum and dad moved there in 1960.

Another neighbour, who is almost a recluse, called in to express her sadness.

I'm crying again writing this but nothing like that day, it was visceral grief.

I'm with my partner for a couple of days, it's quite hard feeling that people have been traipsing round and trawling through mum's and dad's home.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. I have great support and I do have to focus on the positive aspect that this is new beginnings for me. I've rambled on.

How are you? X

 

[MollyD]

Oh, what lovely photos, HarrysD, rosie and Lavender!

 

[Lavender45]

Hello everyone I cannot believe I'm writing this next bit.

Mum's not going today. There's been an incident over the weekend mum caused another patient to fall which has to go in as a safeguarding incident.

On Friday at the tribunal I asked about the wisdom of having 117 leave for mum. 117 leave would mean that mum remains under section, but goes to the home, it would only be a temporary thing. The beauty of this is that her bed on the ward would be kept available for her for the duration of the leave effectively allowing mum to trial the home (and the home to trial her which is maybe more pertinent). If things went wrong she could immediately return to the ward.

On Friday I was told by the consultant that it was unnecessary to have 117 leave, it would be fine. After the incident over the weekend the consultant has uturned today and decided to go with 117 leave, but this requires yet more funding and paperwork so move will go ahead when it's done.

Trust mum to throw a spanner into the works, but this is actually a safer way for her to trial the home. Without this safeguard had things gone pear-shaped she could have been placed in any available psych bed, even out of the area. This way if things go badly she can quietly return to the ward and we can try again.