Casbow's Diary.

[cragmaid]

I am so sorry, I cannot help ease your distress and pain. even knowing, as you do, that your darling man is not to blame for these events, you still shoulder the guilt. (((((hugs))))).
I was so lucky compared with many, I cared for my Mum, who died three years after going in to a CH and was 88..... Dementia ruined many years of my life but at least I had and still have my husband. I do not think I would have coped as well if it had been him who was so afflicted.

What I can do is to tell you, and anyone else who thinks their posts are out of time......
Go up to the top of the page to the My Profile tab,
Click on that tab and then click on Settings.
Go down to My Account and General Settings and click
Scroll down to Date and Time
There you have the option of setting the time zone in which you live.

I am in England so I have GMT Western Europe, London, Lisbon

Click on the suitable time zone from the list and then also click on the Automatic DST so that when the clocks change..... your post clock will also change.

Then confirm Apply. It is easy, honestly! x.x.

 

[Early Girlie]

Dear Casbow, I'm glad you've got some anti-depressants to help you now during this heartbreaking time.
I'm sure everyone has different responses to them, but my experience was that before I started them, I was exhausted and constantly tearful, up and down, snappy and irrational. After taking the first one, I crashed out a few hours later and slept solidly for 4 hours in the afternoon, then a good 10 hours the same night. Next day, another 2 hours of deep sleep in the afternoon. After about a week, I suddenly felt like I could stop sleeping for England, and one day, I woke up feeling full of energy, balanced and positive about life. Such a huge relief, but the week of enforced rest was also helpful.
Now I still take them, 2 years on, and the most important thing is to never run out. If I go a couple of days without, I'm straight back to tears and mood swings.
I hope they work for you and give you back some control. Good luck xl
EG

 

[Casbow]

Dear Casbow, I'm glad you've got some anti-depressants to help you now during this heartbreaking time.
I'm sure everyone has different responses to them, but my experience was that before I started them, I was exhausted and constantly tearful, up and down, snappy and irrational. After taking the first one, I crashed out a few hours later and slept solidly for 4 hours in the afternoon, then a good 10 hours the same night. Next day, another 2 hours of deep sleep in the afternoon. After about a week, I suddenly felt like I could stop sleeping for England, and one day, I woke up feeling full of energy, balanced and positive about life. Such a huge relief, but the week of enforced rest was also helpful.
Now I still take them, 2 years on, and the most important thing is to never run out. If I go a couple of days without, I'm straight back to tears and mood swings.
I hope they work for you and give you back some control. Good luck xl
EG

Thankyou Early girlie. I will write the instructions down and have a go. Does it automatically change when there are clock changes. If not does that mean it needs to be changed twice a year.xxxx

 

[Casbow]

I am so sorry, I cannot help ease your distress and pain. even knowing, as you do, that your darling man is not to blame for these events, you still shoulder the guilt. (((((hugs))))).
I was so lucky compared with many, I cared for my Mum, who died three years after going in to a CH and was 88..... Dementia ruined many years of my life but at least I had and still have my husband. I do not think I would have coped as well if it had been him who was so afflicted.

What I can do is to tell you, and anyone else who thinks their posts are out of time......
Go up to the top of the page to the My Profile tab,
Click on that tab and then click on Settings.
Go down to My Account and General Settings and click
Scroll down to Date and Time
There you have the option of setting the time zone in which you live.

I am in England so I have GMT Western Europe, London, Lisbon

Click on the suitable time zone from the list and then also click on the Automatic DST so that when the clocks change..... your post clock will also change.

Then confirm Apply. It is easy, honestly! x.x.

Thankyou Craigmaid. I got the wrong answer in the wrong place. I think your answer will go on Early Girlie. Sorry.xx

 

[Casbow]

Dear Casbow, I'm glad you've got some anti-depressants to help you now during this heartbreaking time.
I'm sure everyone has different responses to them, but my experience was that before I started them, I was exhausted and constantly tearful, up and down, snappy and irrational. After taking the first one, I crashed out a few hours later and slept solidly for 4 hours in the afternoon, then a good 10 hours the same night. Next day, another 2 hours of deep sleep in the afternoon. After about a week, I suddenly felt like I could stop sleeping for England, and one day, I woke up feeling full of energy, balanced and positive about life. Such a huge relief, but the week of enforced rest was also helpful.
Now I still take them, 2 years on, and the most important thing is to never run out. If I go a couple of days without, I'm straight back to tears and mood swings.
I hope they work for you and give you back some control. Good luck xl
EG

Thankyou for telling me about your experience. I am only on the first tablet. I have Eye clinic this afternoon so hope I don't fall asleep and miss the appointment. If only I could get back energy and motivation. At the moment I have neither. I do appreciate your telling me. I will keep posting when I notice any difference.xxx

 

[LadyA]

Thankyou for telling me about your experience. I am only on the first tablet. I have Eye clinic this afternoon so hope I don't fall asleep and miss the appointment. If only I could get back energy and motivation. At the moment I have neither. I do appreciate your telling me. I will keep posting when I notice any difference.xxx

Set your alarm, and have a nap with an easy mind. xx

 

[Casbow]

Set your alarm, and have a nap with an easy mind. xx

Yes had a sleep. The antibiotics I'm on seem to making it all worse. Only 3 more to take.What a limp lettuce I am. Poor me. Hope you are ok LadyA.xx

 

[cragmaid]

Does it automatically change when there are clock changes

I reckon so...I never actually check!!!

You are not a limp lettuce, you are someone struggling with huge stress, and health issues to boot. I think you are wonderful..... so there!

 

[Casbow]

I reckon so...I never actually check!!!

You are not a limp lettuce, you are someone struggling with huge stress, and health issues to boot. I think you are wonderful..... so there!

What a lovely thing to say. Thankyou. But I am definitely a limp lettuce now. Been sitting in a very busy eye clinic. Housed in an old building that has been waiting for a well deserved new clinic. The people there are wonderful and I bet they are looking forward to their new clinic some time next year. Long wait but worth it. No eye problems to worry about. Tick box.!!! Thankyou Craigmaid.xx

 

[Casbow]

What a lovely thing to say. Thankyou. But I am definitely a limp lettuce now. Been sitting in a very busy eye clinic. Housed in an old building that has been waiting for a well deserved new clinic. The people there are wonderful and I bet they are looking forward to their new clinic some time next year. Long wait but worth it. No eye problems to worry about. Tick box.!!! Thankyou Craigmaid.xx

Not sure about these antibiotics. I feel a bit light headed now and again. That worries me because of driving. Living in a village there are only 4 buses a day each way. It would be terrible if I couldn't get to see him. So I suppose I should give it more time but I worry it will get worse. On the subject of Davids mishap, I am meeting the Social Worker at the home tomorrow morning to talk about what happened. I think the Home Manager will be there and that will be the first time I have seen her since she came to our house to assess him for the home. I have been a bit upset that she hasn't come to see me since the accident. Or even since he went into the home. Just to ask if everything was ok. Would have been nice.xx

 

[LadyA]

Have you been eating OK? And drinking enough? It may just be the adjustment to medication, but if it keeps up, do get it checked. I understand how you feel about driving, as I live in the country. There are buses, but services are limited in scope, so the 15 minute drive to dau, for example would involve two buses and two pretty long walks, probably taking about 1 1/2 hours in all, each way! I could probably walk there quicker!

 

[Casbow]

Have you been eating OK? And drinking enough? It may just be the adjustment to medication, but if it keeps up, do get it checked. I understand how you feel about driving, as I live in the country. There are buses, but services are limited in scope, so the 15 minute drive to dau, for example would involve two buses and two pretty long walks, probably taking about 1 1/2 hours in all, each way! I could probably walk there quicker!

Thank you LadyA. I will see how I feel in the morning. If I feel a bit funny I will get a taxi. Thank you. x

 

[Casbow]

Thank you LadyA. I will see how I feel in the morning. If I feel a bit funny I will get a taxi. Thank you. x

Well it is finally over. The lady that my husband knocked over has died. They left it so long to tell me that I was already sure it was bad news. Poor love. she was old and frail and didn't deserve to die like that. But her daughter has accepted that it was an accident between two people with dementia that was sad and unfortunate. My husband has no idea of what happened. Which is just as well. I have cried so much in the last 2 weeks that when I finally found out yesterday I just felt relieved that at last I knew. I feel the home should have kept me informed from the beginning, but they didn't. Meanwhile my husband is on 15 minute checks to see if his mood is good or not. After personal care is the time that he is cross and agitated. The rest of the time they say he is fine. So I now feel a bit bad at leaving him after one and half hours visit, if the staff are very busy. But it is not easy to stay longer. I help at dinner time and enjoy being with him. But he doesn't seem to know me most of the time. Occasionally he seems to show signs of recognition but doesn't talk, accept nonsense, and cannot join in anything. So I find it all very tiring.Especially the last few days since I have been on the anti depressants. I am off to see him again soon. Always look forward to seeing him. Just that I don't think it matters to him. Which can be seen as a good thing I suppose. xxx

 

[LadyA]

An accident is exactly what it was, Casbow. Tragic consequences, but an accident. I know it's dreadfully hard, but if it were the other way around, if the lady had pushed your poor husband, and he had died as a result of the fall, you wouldn't hold it against her, would you? You would understand that she wasn't responsible for her actions, and couldn't possibly have had any understanding of the possible consequences. But yes, I could see it would be very hard for you.

Try and take comfort, Casbow, from knowing that all of the mighty Talking point comfort blanket family is here, thinking of you and wishing you well. Anti depressants do, I believe, take a while to have an affect. Meanwhile, go with the flow as much as you can, and get as much rest as you can. xx

 

[rhubarbtree]

Could not read and move on Casbow. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. Take comfort from her daughter's great understanding. Look after yourself now.

 

[LynneMcV]

My thoughts are with you too Casbow. I am glad that the family of the lady concerned has been understanding, after all, they too would be fully aware of how dementia affects a person - but of course, it's still something you'll need plenty of time and care to come through yourself.

Remember that we are all here for you and ready to talk things through whenever you feel the need and for however long needed.

 

[Grannie G]

I cried for you when I read your post Casbow.

I`m so sorry for everyone concerned. Thank goodness the lady`s daughter has accepted it for what it was, a tragic accident, and thank goodness your husband has no idea.

I don`t know what else to say.

 

[Casbow]

I cried for you when I read your post Casbow.

I`m so sorry for everyone concerned. Thank goodness the lady`s daughter has accepted it for what it was, a tragic accident, and thank goodness your husband has no idea.

I don`t know what else to say.

Thank you GrannieG. It has been an awful time. Made worse by the fact that I really liked her. She was a proper Lady. I was also worried that they wouldn't keep him there. He has settled in and I believe is as happy as I can hope for. Just so sad this happened. I wonder how long it would have take them to tell me the outcome if it hadn't been for the social worker. She was shocked when I told her that I didn't know what had happened to the lady and what was going to be the outcome.xx

 

[Izzy]

Oh Casbow I am so sorry to read of this development. How terribly sad for everyone concerned. I can only echo what others have already said. It was a tragic accident and the root cause was dementia.

Thinking of you.

 

[margherita]

It is nobody's fault, Casbow.
I'm so sorry for all of you.