Family - why are they so selfish?

[nae sporran]

Sorry, off on a rant again.
It's C's birthday this week and we are off to her favourite Chinese restaurant on Saturday. She invited her friend to join her, her friend has dementia too and is quite a character. Then, her daughter has to spoil it all. C's daughter has hurt her leg, but taking her anywhere in the back of the car is always stressful. Now, she says we can't take C's friend in the car too as that restricts her own space on the back seat. It's a small car, but a reasonable person would be accommodating I hope.
Of course, we can't have C's birthday without her daughter. Son is too caught up in his family in London and has let us down more times than I want to remember. So, our wee friend can't come and I have to explain to C with out her feeling bad or upset. I then have to explain to her friend. You can't talk to her daughter as she just storms off and that causes upset.
AARRGGH.

Thank you for reading. At least on my birthday we can escape on our own and we have a nice trip to Bath next week, hopefully.

 

[Grannie G]

Is there no way C`s friend can be given a lift? Is the venue too far for a taxi?

 

[nae sporran]

It's 15 miles away in Clevedon Sylvia, so hard to organise that one. We can't really go anywhere closer as it's a place C has been going to for 25 years. It would not be a birthday without it.

 

[Clunchman]

You have my sympathy and understanding. I can get criticism from my wife's family but no help. Always too busy or too tired. "Tired"? That's a joke. Try caring then they would know what tired really is.

Just tried to hang out the washing to dry. Had to come in twice as she wants the toilet twice in less than 5mins. She is not doing anything just having a ciggie, no good for her or my COPD!

 

[nae sporran]

You have my sympathy and understanding. I can get criticism from my wife's family but no help. Always too busy or too tired. "Tired"? That's a joke. Try caring then they would know what tired really is.

Just tried to hang out the washing to dry. Had to come in twice as she wants the toilet twice in less than 5mins. She is not doing anything just having a ciggie, no good for her or my COPD!

You can't tell the you are tired, because they don't see all the running around you do. Of course, you can't your wife she is hard work or she will feel guilty if she understands at all. Sympathy to you too mate.

 

[Grannie G]

It's 15 miles away in Clevedon Sylvia, so hard to organise that one. We can't really go anywhere closer as it's a place C has been going to for 25 years. It would not be a birthday without it.

That`s a long journey. What a pity.

 

[LynneMcV]

I'm not sure how many you have going in the car, but on initial reading it sounds like four of you, if C's friend is included?

Would it be possible for C's daughter to sit in the front with room for her bad leg and have C and her friend sitting together in the back?

C might prefer the front but maybe she' be happy in the back with her friend if it meant everyone being able to go out and celebrate her birthday.

Sorry in advance if I have misunderstood the situation

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks for the idea Lynne, but C would never get in the back. Luckily her friend took the news well, if a little disappointed. C seems to have accepted it now too, so not as upsetting as I feared, but we will definitely be keeping daughter at arm's length if she can't be supportive. That's sad, but the only way I feel we can cope.

 

[jugglingmum]

Can you do something else with c 's friend? I was thinking afternoon tea on a different day sort of thing

 

[nae sporran]

Can you do something else with c 's friend? I was thinking afternoon tea on a different day sort of thing

Definitely have to do that very soon, JM.

 

[onlyme1]

How about taking C and her friend another time, just the 3 of you. Show the daughter it's not all about her. X

 

[nae sporran]

How about taking C and her friend another time, just the 3 of you. Show the daughter it's not all about her. X

Thanks Onlyme1, that's a definite plan for the next couple of weeks. I had already told her it was only me and C on my birthday, in 3 weeks time, not sure she has grasped the full reason. Still, that would be 3 things to look forward to if we include Bath.

 

[esmeralda]

Such inconsiderate and unkind behaviour is very upsetting Rob, especially given all you have done for C's daughter - and it's your car. I hope she has a nice birthday anyway and you enjoy the alternative arrangements - lucky C to have two birthday parties!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Just sending a "Bravo" for tolerating that daughter for C's sake....

Doing something else with the friend will probably be more enjoyable.

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks Anne and Es.

A great start to the official birthday with the carer from the agency bringing cards and cakes, she also sang happy birthday. C is happy today, we will share the cakes too.

 

[nae sporran]

After all that fuss the birthday lunch went rather well, C's daughter insisted on disappearing to the shops half way through but came back with a present for my birthday. She's odd, but sometimes generous in her own funny way. Maybe she will drive over to our side of the city one day.
C is full of beans this morning when I thought she would be too tired, so happy with that.

 

[nae sporran]

Rob I absolutely understand. I too have a step daughter who is a nightmare. Christmas dinner is always disrupted as its too hot, too cold, too salty etc. She comes to visit and it's all me me me.

I tolerate her just because of her dad but would she be my friend of choice NO!

Enjoy your other upcoming events I tip my hat to you.

C's daughter does that with the coffee every time we go for pizza. All the best to you MIA56.