Trepidation, anxiety and sadness

[Aloysius]

These are my feelings right now. Mum has been in her present care home 7 months. It's about 25 minutes drive away which is a lot better than nearly 3 hours which was the time it took to drive to her previous home into which she had been admitted during a crisis. It's nicer too although she doesn't/can't appreciate that!
Anyway, just over a week ago I had a 4am call to tell me that Mum had been found on the floor of her room and had been admitted to hospital. A CT scan was done and it was discovered that she had a fractured wrist and a UTI to boot. She also sported a black eye and her glasses were broken. The two days and nights she spent in hospital proved to be nightmarish, for her and me. She seemed to be delirious , not recognising me and trying to pull the cast off. How they got it ON I don't know! She spent nearly 12 hours in A and E before a bed was found. It could hardly have been designed to have a more disastrous effect. At one point I didn't even know if the care home would have her back, but they did, thank goodness. It felt like Shangri-La to me when we got back.
Since then, Mum seems to have declined, no longer seemingly able to feed herself. Fine motor control seems to be worse and she can't judge where her mouth is. She's also much more confused. I visited with my partner yesterday and fed her finger food. She began by telling me that she and all the other residents were going to be killed.
She seemed to gain some comfort from our being there but soon as I left I heard her calling 'Help! Help!'

How awful it is. And tomorrow she has an appointment at the Fracture Clinic. I'm to meet her there. What a great idea:a busy Out Patients clinic.

And then I'm due to go away with my daughter on Saturday. I feel so unsure as to whether to go. I feel on edge as if the phone will ring again at any moment. I suppose we've entered another stage on this dreadful journey.

Is anyone else in a similar position? It helps to unload on here..

A

 

[wazza]

These are my feelings right now. Mum has been in her present care home 7 months. It's about 25 minutes drive away which is a lot better than nearly 3 hours which was the time it took to drive to her previous home into which she had been admitted during a crisis. It's nicer too although she doesn't/can't appreciate that!
Anyway, just over a week ago I had a 4am call to tell me that Mum had been found on the floor of her room and had been admitted to hospital. A CT scan was done and it was discovered that she had a fractured wrist and a UTI to boot. She also sported a black eye and her glasses were broken. The two days and nights she spent in hospital proved to be nightmarish, for her and me. She seemed to be delirious , not recognising me and trying to pull the cast off. How they got it ON I don't know! She spent nearly 12 hours in A and E before a bed was found. It could hardly have been designed to have a more disastrous effect. At one point I didn't even know if the care home would have her back, but they did, thank goodness. It felt like Shangri-La to me when we got back.
Since then, Mum seems to have declined, no longer seemingly able to feed herself. Fine motor control seems to be worse and she can't judge where her mouth is. She's also much more confused. I visited with my partner yesterday and fed her finger food. She began by telling me that she and all the other residents were going to be killed.
She seemed to gain some comfort from our being there but soon as I left I heard her calling 'Help! Help!'

How awful it is. And tomorrow she has an appointment at the Fracture Clinic. I'm to meet her there. What a great idea:a busy Out Patients clinic.

And then I'm due to go away with my daughter on Saturday. I feel so unsure as to whether to go. I feel on edge as if the phone will ring again at any moment. I suppose we've entered another stage on this dreadful journey.

Is anyone else in a similar position? It helps to unload on here..

A

Sorry your mum has injured herself, it certainly doesn't help, does it? Thankfully, the care home has taken her back in, and although things have worsened, the staff will be aware, and take extra care of her, especially considering she has a fractured wrist. That may be why she only accepts finger foods at the moment. Good luck at fracture clinic tomorrow. I hope you decide to go away with your daughter as planned, think how nice to have some mother/daughter time, so very important.

 

[LadyA]

Sorry to hear about your mum's fall and the deterioration you've noticed. Unfortunately, the stress, the disorientation of the hospital, the physical trauma etc will take a toll. Hopefully, as your mum's wrist heals, she'll recover.

I too think you should take the time away with your daughter. The Home will call you if there's any emergency, but hopefully there won't be. And you can't just stay home all the time just in case. It will take you a while to learn to relax again about your mum but she's being cared for. I'm sure the Home will be extra careful now after her fall.

 

[Aloysius]

Thanks

Sorry your mum has injured herself, it certainly doesn't help, does it? Thankfully, the care home has taken her back in, and although things have worsened, the staff will be aware, and take extra care of her, especially considering she has a fractured wrist. That may be why she only accepts finger foods at the moment. Good luck at fracture clinic tomorrow. I hope you decide to go away with your daughter as planned, think how nice to have some mother/daughter time, so very important.

Thanks, wazza. We did go to Scotland: Argyll was beautiful! Mum had another more minor fall the day before yesterday and they took her to hospital overnight. They had to sedate her because she yelled so much!That's the problem at the moment, achieving some rest at night. It's awful to witness her agitation.

 

[Aloysius]

Thanks

Sorry to hear about your mum's fall and the deterioration you've noticed. Unfortunately, the stress, the disorientation of the hospital, the physical trauma etc will take a toll. Hopefully, as your mum's wrist heals, she'll recover.

I too think you should take the time away with your daughter. The Home will call you if there's any emergency, but hopefully there won't be. And you can't just stay home all the time just in case. It will take you a while to learn to relax again about your mum but she's being cared for. I'm sure the Home will be extra careful now after her fall.

Thank you, Lady A. We did go and I can definitely recommend Argyll and especially the Mull of Kintyre. I think the home are more careful now (despite her having had a more minor fall on Monday from an armchair); she has a crash mat and no furniture near the bed.