Somebody else's glasses

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
0
Costa Blanca Spain
Dear Hendy,

Just caught up with your posts after a week's absence. What stikes me reading your news is how very strong you have become over the last few months. As you say resignation and acceptance of bad news becomes second nature after a while.

However, I just cannot understand the gastric tube business. This complete disreguard of what you know - ie: with a little patience and love your dad CAN eat without the tube - must have driven you crazy It is astonishing that they could do this without any consultation with you.

I'm not very clued up on C.Diff. I thought it had a lot to do with sickness and diorreah (never could spell this word!!) Has your dad had any of this?

As ever I take my hat off to you. You have certainly proved that despite all your other commitments (work, children, husband etc) you are totally committed to caring for your lovely dad.

xxTinaT
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear Tina
Thank you for your kind words. I dont feel strong, I feel kind of empty, but I suppose its good not to have very strong feelings sometimes, they are exhausting. Perhpas its a survivial mechanism. Talking of survival - Dad has still got C Diff. (Yes it is diarraeh sp?) He contracted it as a result of antibiotic treatment for pneumonia. The antibiotics killed off good bugs in his gut thus allowing bad bugs to multiply. Healthy people would normally remain unaffected by it, but the frail and elderly etc are vey likely to get it. It is infectious whilst the patient has the runs (although Dad not running anywhere) and is treated with another kind of antibiotic. This is what hospital have told me anyway. As we know diarraeh, can dehydrate people very quickly, some people have died from it.
I have to wash my hands with soap and water (alchohol gel doesnt kill the bugs) I suppose its equally plausible that Dad could have caught it through contact with an infected person - funnily enough the hospital didnt mention this possiblity, but it doesnt take a brain surgeon to work it out.
Talking about Doctors working it out, they haven't got plans to put anymore tubes in Dad at the present time. It transpired that they tried on more than one occasion to put in NG tube and he ripped it out each time. So obviously the Docs didn't get the hint from Dad. So much for him giving consent.
take care
hendy
 
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hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear All
Dad's symptoms of C Diff. seem to have started to clear up. He has been remarkably bright on the last few visits and he is able to respond to simple questions but thats about it. I still take in biscuits and coffee which he loves, he managed 2 large choc chop cookies tonight.
I have to say that he appears to be very well looked after, it is reassuring that the nurses talk fondly of dad and how well he is doing. Although I know he is is still experiencing hallucinations, he is responding well to nursing. Apart from the C Dff. there are no apparent problems, we are waiting to see when he can be discharged. Although he does seem to like where he is!
take care
hendy
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
That's really good news, Hendy. I'm glad the C. Diff is clearing up, and he's being well looked after.

We hear such awful stories, it's good to hear a good one.

Keep us informed,

Love,
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Thanks Hazel
Dad is due to be discharged tomorrow. There has been some kind of spat between nursing home and hospital regarding the funding of new mattress dad needs. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with any of it, for once! Dad seemed very tired tonight,but he still managed to eat 3 digestive biscuits. I took J. with me and Dad remembered his name, which was lovely. I hope he doesnt get too stressed during the discharge process. He wont understand whats going on. Unfortunately I cant be with him until after work.
take care
hendy
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
All the best for tomorrow hendy.

When my mother was discharged from hospital she settled immediately back into the environment of the NH. I hope it`s the same for your father.

Love xx
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
55
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Hendy,

Is J your son? My Dad can't call either me or my sisters by our names, but when my nephew walked into hospital he said 'oh look it's R'. He also remembers my BIL's name 'hello J!' :confused: My nephew thinks it's hilarious.

Hope all goes well with the move tomorrow.
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Thanks all

Yes Sue, J is my eldest son, Dad always got our names in a muddle before dementia, its amazing that so far down the road, he can still sometimes (not always) remember who his daughters are. Sometimes still have to remind him!
take care
hendy
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear All
Many thanks for your kind messages of support. Well, Dad is back at the nursing home. He has a special air mattress. He's was fast asleep and has been all day. I had a phone call from the home to let me know he'd arrived - he was very tired then. He had been so bright on earlier visits, just hope its not another down turn of some kind. Maybe the stress of travelling etc has placed an added strain. He is very aware of his surroundings in some ways. The staff will try to get him in a chair when he's ready, but he doesnt really look like he could manage that at the moment. Its just 'wait and see' time again...
The fantastic nurse manager(acting) has now left, which I am put out about, she was really good and really inpsired confidence. The manager that she was covering for, has come back off long term sick leave, I hope he's going to be as good...
take care
hendy
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Hi Hendy

Glad your dad is safely back, and they've provided an air mattress for him.

I expect the tiredness is largely due to the upheaval today, certainly John is tired by any change to his usual routine.

I hope you get on well with the manager, and your dad settles in quickly.

Love,
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
0
Costa Blanca Spain
Any change is tiring especially for your dad in his frail state. I hope that when you visit him he has had a good rest which I'm sure will have helped him. Good luck with the new manager. I know you will give him a fair crack of the whip and I do hope that he is as good as the temporary manager was.

xxTinaT
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear Tina, Hazel and all
Thank you for your encouraging posts. Dad was very tired again today. the home had him sat out of bed for some time, but they haven't been able to get him to eat or drink. Yesterday, he hadn't eaten or drank anything either. This is worrying. I did suspect there might be something on the day before his discharge as he was very tired then. Its so sudden really, he had done very well a couple of days ago, he was eating and drinking well. Lets just hope its a blip, and that after a few more days he will settle etc How long can he go without drinkng fluids???
Please please let it not be another emergency in the making.
take care
hendy
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
Hello Hendy

I wouldn`t worry too much about your father being off his food for a while but I would worry if he wasn`t drinking.

What has the home said about their attempts to get him to drink?

Poor man, he is probably totally confused about everything, and that could include food and drink.

I do hope at least he starts to drink.

Love xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Dear Hendy

I do hope your dad starts drinking today, it must be so worrying for you.

Have they tried thickening Fortijuice and giving him it with a spoon? I've seen the staff do that with residents in John's home. Or making it into jellies and serving it ice-cold. The cold is often welcome to a parched mouth.

Thinking of you both,

Love,
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear Hazel
Thanks for the tips. They sound like great ideas. I went to see Dad and he is very alert, but agitated and I think paranoid, although he cant communicate easily, I can see that he is. It must be the stress of the transfer thats triggered this response, or maybe its just happening anyway. He has apparently been spitting out drinks and food. They have got him to drink 300mls today, which considering everything is amazing.
He would take a chocolate chip cereal bar from me and a sip of coffee(his favourite drink), but he wouldn't have anything else.
His dementia, and other problems are coming to the fore now, and this is precisely why he needs to be in this specialist environment. He was sat in a chair, which is an amazing step in the right direction. However, the glasses issue seems to have resurfaced again. He wasnt wearing his glasses and I had to go and get them, I mentioned to the nurse he really needs to have them on when he's awake and alert, otherwise it would add to his confusion. Oh dear, I've been here before. Lets hope its a one-off and that the good things are a sign of more positive things to come.
take care
hendy
 

jude1950

Registered User
Mar 23, 2006
182
0
Lincolnshire
dear hendy,

When I visited Jim today in the Hospital he wasn't wearing his glasses, his distance sight is very poor and he has worn specs for over 40 years.
When I asked where his glasses were the nurses /health care assistants said " they are in the clock" I thought Jim had put them in there but no ...the staff had put them there for safe keeping as he kept taking them off and they thought he might break them::confused::confused:

I took them out of the clock and put them on him I also explained that I had a spare pair at home and the prescription
is with an optician who will make me another pair within 2 hours of me ordering them if needed ...there is definately no reason for them not to let him wear them....the mind boggles sometimes:rolleyes:

Judith
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Oh dear, Hendy, this is where we came in!

Seriously, though, it's good that your dad has managed some fluid. The food's not so desperate, he'll probably start to eat again one he settles down, but the fluids are vital.

It's a good sign that he can sit up in a chair. John lost that ability a while ago, and has to have a reclining chair.

Let's hope the improvement co ntinues tomorrow.

Love,
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
0
West Yorkshire
Dear Hazel and judith
Thanks for your messages.
Having got back from our weekend away (birthday treat from hubby), i managed to ring the home when i got back. It seems that they have sat him in a quieter lounge. I asked them to consider this as he can be quite irritated by lots of activity when he's feeling down or paranoid. They have got him to take fluids. He has apparently become more settled, which is a great relief. I had been in contact with the home during the weekend away, but it was hard to switch off from the worry. Luckily I think the home have managed to avert another emergency.
take care
hendy
 

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