Had enough today.

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WORRIER123

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Oct 1, 2015
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Morning all.

I've been sitting trawling amazon and eBay for fake money for mum. Money seems to have become her latest obsession.

So many fake money sets are one sided, mum's not going to be fooled by that so I thought I'd try the alzheimers society shop.

Sadly the alzheimers society shop doesn't seem to sell fake money which is such a shame, it would be so useful for so many of us. What they do sell is a wooden rounders bat and ball and pegs to mark the bases.

The bat looks to be a proper bat, the pegs have pointy ends. Can you imagine my mum with this lot. Talk about armed and dangerous. I appreciate that products being sold are not just for people with dementia, but please alzheimer's society a few less rounders bat's and pegs (weapons) and a bit of double sided fake money would be so useful.

Moan ends! Have a good day everyone. Xxx

Nooooo I gave a load to the hospital activity room still in packaging.
From £1 shop xx
 

WORRIER123

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Oct 1, 2015
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Well rant first. Not seeeing enail notifications that someone has posted from this thread. Just sat down and trying to catch up on what's been happening to you all
Well I eventually bought some plants and did a little display and buried dad's ashes well half of them. Then went to Brecon and scattered some at 3 locations in his home town.
Been quite upset of late worse by the day infact balled my eyes out to the dentist today
Boyfriend off at least 3 months with anxiety stress depression which being selfish isn't helping me plus he is not speaking any help and advice they advise only taking meds which he thinks is doing as they said
I know it's a dreadful thing but not speaking the help or chasing for help when he is referred.. that's caused me sleepless nights worry too tears as well
He went home this am and I thought thank god some space at last and I worked from home
Hope you are all ok as can be. A quick read it seems not much has changed and I haven't missed any gossip only a possible poo party
Be strong all
Oh I sent another rant to social services saying how let down we were by them felt better after
Xx
 

Pollytickle

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Nov 15, 2015
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Hello Worrier... I have a little experience of a partner in the throes of depression :eek: ...it's not an easy ride is it :( If I have this right, your chap doesn't talk to you; has he always been the type of person who prefers to keep things to himself?

One suggestion I have is to say something like:-
I know it's not the best of times for you either, but I really need to empty my head...can we talk? We could get [take away & drinks of your choice], put some [favourite music] on, just chill...
& then he doesn't feel he's being interrogated but actually doing something to help.

It might work - won't know if you don't try - & the very least that could happen is you get to release some of your sorrow.

Good Luck x
 

Marnie63

Registered User
Dec 26, 2015
1,637
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Hampshire
Marnie, have you thought about putting a second bannister rail on the stairs? Mum's got one on each side. She had the second one fitted when she had her knee replacement several years ago, and it really helps her now that she's older and has some mobility problems.

Thanks, it's an idea. She actually is very good, holding onto the bannister very carefully, doing the stairs very slowly, and walking stick in other hand. Of course all it needs is a slip, or a loss of balance, but she's always supervised on the stairs either by me, or by the carer if I'm out. I'm trying to avoid turning my house into something that resembles a care home! (For now, anyway.)
 

LadyA

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Oct 19, 2009
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Ireland
Good night all. Hope you all have a peaceful night. I'm tucked up in bed with a book and some (sugar free) biscuits. I really have had enough today.
 

Aisling

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Dec 5, 2015
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Ireland
Thanks, it's an idea. She actually is very good, holding onto the bannister very carefully, doing the stairs very slowly, and walking stick in other hand. Of course all it needs is a slip, or a loss of balance, but she's always supervised on the stairs either by me, or by the carer if I'm out. I'm trying to avoid turning my house into something that resembles a care home! (For now, anyway.)


Lots of safety stuff in my house!!

Aisling x
 

WORRIER123

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Oct 1, 2015
1,174
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Thanks, it's an idea. She actually is very good, holding onto the bannister very carefully, doing the stairs very slowly, and walking stick in other hand. Of course all it needs is a slip, or a loss of balance, but she's always supervised on the stairs either by me, or by the carer if I'm out. I'm trying to avoid turning my house into something that resembles a care home! (For now, anyway.)

We had the second banister too which helped so much in fact don't know how we managed without as I use it now as habit x
 

LadyA

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Oct 19, 2009
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Ireland
Yeah, I use the one in mum's house too! And it doesn't look like an "aid" because it matches the original bannister and has nice brass brackets holding it on to the wall. Just looks like it was always there.
 

WORRIER123

Registered User
Oct 1, 2015
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Yeah ours looks so nice hence I left it there. I was expecting an awful plastic hospital type one. Even the grab rails in the kitchen I use. Shower ones I just knock my head on
 

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,607
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Liverpool
Evening all. I'm really glad the rounders bat and markers gave you a laugh Marnie. We all need more of them!

The money went down OK with mum, mostly because she was totally disinterested. Bit of a damp squib, but never mind I tried.

I went on to see mum again today and she was really calm and amazingly with it. Hope that lasts!!!

Now to the daft burocracy!

Mum's social worker leaves tomorrow and a new social worker has not yet been allocated to mum, just great. She called this morning to say that she has submitted the paperwork for mums funding for KP nursing home and has requested that the NHS picks up 100% of the bill, but she suspects they will only make a partial payment. I asked did that mean we needed to make up a shortfall, but no it doesn't.

117 funding is normally paid for partly by the NHS and partly by the LA. The social worker is suggesting that due to mum's behaviour the NHS should pay the lot and the LA nothing. I cannot imagine the NHS is going to like that one. I asked would this delay mum getting a placement and it seems like it might.That's not good! She also said she had started the paperwork for a CHC assessment. I asked why she was bothering as 117 would pay, but she wants to do it anyway. I've checked and although it's about mum it won't involve mum, so if they want to go through a pointless exercise let them.

I spoke to the deputy manager on mum's ward and told her what the social worker said. She said she has never heard of a social worker trying to get the NHS to pick up 100% of 117 costs, she said it's normally a 50/50 split, she also confirmed that 117 funding trumps CHC funding so the whole CHC application reall does seem a pointless exercise. The deputy manager said the ward would have started a CHC application for mum had she not been sectioned, but as she is they didn't bother. Burocracy gone mad. Such a waste of time!
 

Pollytickle

Registered User
Nov 15, 2015
759
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And that, My Friends, is why it takes so long to get an answer from anyone you need an answer from....too bluddin' busy doing stuff that has no direct impact on your request :mad:
 

jorgieporgie

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Mar 2, 2016
1,982
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YORKSHIRE
Oh Lavender don't get me started on all the stupid red tape, your right Pollytickle money could be spent more wisely.
Anyway hope you all have a good weekend and the sun shines down on you all. x
 

rosy18

Registered User
Jul 23, 2016
1,281
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Blackpool
Lavender makes you want to scream doesn't it The funds that must be wasted.....xx

Well Mums still filling pads even though she is hardly eating anything I'm just spoon feeding her whilst she keeps her eyes closed with tiny bits of food, she's so weak and frail looking now.
Last night although Mums eyes were closed she was babbling on all rubbish right through the night and calling out for her Mum her elder sister and me and we seem to be doing the same tonight not much sleep on the horizon
I have an awful feeling we are entering into another late stage.

Hope the weekend is kind to everyone xx
 

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,607
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Liverpool
Rosy you must be exhausted. Hope at least some sleep came your way last night and that your mum manages even just a little bit more food today. Is it worth just giving her sweet foods to tempt her a little more? I know that's far from ideal, but a lot of people on here seem to report more success with sweet than savoury don't they. X
 

jorgieporgie

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
1,982
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YORKSHIRE
Morning Ladies,
Rosy big hugs xxx As Lavender says sweet things are always far more tempting, or maybe milkshakes, sometimes there bodies just don't need food, as long as fluids are given.
How is the money situation Lavender as your Mum spent up yet:D
Worrier how are everything at your end, hope your boyfriend is a bit more uplifted. Go get a holiday booked and have a break:cool:
Marnie, Hillybilly, LadyA, Pollytickle hope all is well.
Molly Hugs xx
Aisling hope your ankle is on the mend x
HarryD how are you?
Anyone I have missed have a peaceful and manageable weekend. This site is getting to big to name you all.:) xx
 

Harrys daughter

Registered User
Jul 12, 2016
385
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Good morning all you lovely ppl
I'm so sorry iv been awall after hillybilly and Worrier lost there mam and dad I found it hard to come onto here because the grief I'm feeling was so consuming I'm going to read and try to catch up and I'm sorry if this is all about me ...
I'm still not working but have managed to get on top of the house work 3 yrs if not cleaning my home as I should had took it's toll I have to go out 5 days a fortnight as I have my grandchildren for my son to go to work but apart from that I'd be happy to hide in my house I don't enjoy meeting ppl atm I carnt talk about my dad as the pain is to great the last wk of his life was so terrable and the last day I wasn't nice to him and now I'm left with that pain also iv not gone to counciling I don't feel up to talking to strangers atm. My sister is still ill she is very frail and it's impacted on how I'm feeling altho last month we went for a harry shaw coach trip to torquay fri-sun I enjoyed my time with S my sister but the fact we could do it only cos our dad had died left us both sad
Next Sat I'm visiting another Devon rex breeder to see if a kitten chooses me I'm hoping this will lighten my heart as since my Seth died in March iv also been struggling with that
Iv put so much weight on and I now look like Mr blobby you see dimenture not only distorts the person with it but hacks up the carers life's big time im planing a mini break at the end of Aug with my husband I think it's much needed as he also suffes my dad's loss
Anyway gotta jump in the tub got my 8yr old gd party at 10.30 it's a trampoline party but now I'm 16stone I'm to big to play so will need to only watch lol
THANKYOU for always being there 4 me and always asking out after me it meens so much xxx
 
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