Hi. My boyfriend is 16 almost 17 and has some sort of Alzheimer's. For me it's hard to understand what is going on but I want to be there for him. I don't know what to do but I want to be helpful. Can you guys help me to help him? I am more scared than anything because I don't know much about it and I don't know how to help. I have fears of him losing his memory of me someday. Other than that I worry for him. He simply forgets little things and he freaks out. He forgot what I talked about with him last night and he started to worry. He seems to be spooked by it. I honestly hope this isn't anything big but I need support and so does he but I don't know how to provide it. So if anyone can help please do.
Girlfriend of guy with Alzheimer's
- Thread starter Helpinghim
- Start date
Hi and welcome to Talking Point.
Has your boyfriend seen a doctor and discussed his problems?
There could be many reasons for his forgetfulness. Is he taking exams?, he could be stressed about those. There are many pressures put on young people these days and perhaps some reassurance from a doctor that it is not as bad as you both think will help him.
Has your boyfriend seen a doctor and discussed his problems?
There could be many reasons for his forgetfulness. Is he taking exams?, he could be stressed about those. There are many pressures put on young people these days and perhaps some reassurance from a doctor that it is not as bad as you both think will help him.
Welcome from me too.
I agree with Jaymor that he needs to talk to a doctor first and foremost to be reassured.
Have any of his elderly relatives suffered from dementia, because if he has experienced this first-hand, then I can see why the slightest sign of memory issues might be causing him to get spooked.
I agree with Jaymor that he needs to talk to a doctor first and foremost to be reassured.
Have any of his elderly relatives suffered from dementia, because if he has experienced this first-hand, then I can see why the slightest sign of memory issues might be causing him to get spooked.
I'm no doctor but it's very unlikely that he has Alzheimers at such a young age. I've never heard it in someone so young. He needs to go talk to a doctor and get checked out. There's no point worrying when a chat with a good GP would set his mind at rest.
All the media & news about dementia makes people paranoid that they have the disease. A lot of what people think of as 'signs' of dementia are normal memory issues. But the GP will explain all that.
All the media & news about dementia makes people paranoid that they have the disease. A lot of what people think of as 'signs' of dementia are normal memory issues. But the GP will explain all that.
It is extremely unlikely that a 16 year old will have any form of dementia, and I would ask you not to throw that term round lightly. Dementia is a lot more than just memory loss! Memory issues have many causes and with someone so young the most likely explanation would be stress of any kind or vitamin deficiencies. So get him checked by a doctor but stop worrying about dementia please.
He has seen a doctor and he is a rare case. His family has a history for Alzheimer's and it coming on at a young age. He went to get it slowed but it barely worked.
Oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry.My best advice is to live each day as it comes, do what you still can and enjoy the time you have. How fast is it progressing?
My best advice is to live each day as it comes, do what you still can and enjoy the time you have. How fast is it progressing?
No clue but lately he's forgetting little things and the day before. He was fine a few days ago. The doctors did say small episodes like this can happen but everytime they do it is very scary. We never know if its progressing or just a small episode
It sounds like he is in very early stages. Its impossible to predict how quickly it will develop - only time will tell, but some people remain in early stages for quite a few years. Try not to worry about his memory lapses - dont draw attention to them and dont ask "do you remember......?". If hes obviously forgotten something just gloss over it. A sense of humour will help too. Its perfectly OK to laugh about this sort of thing (although not at him, of course!)
It sounds morbid, but the early stages of Alzheimers is the best time to sort out Power of Attorney. Older people think about this, but I doubt it would occur to teenagers, so I thought I would mention it.
It sounds morbid, but the early stages of Alzheimers is the best time to sort out Power of Attorney. Older people think about this, but I doubt it would occur to teenagers, so I thought I would mention it.
Thank you Canary. I've struggled everytime he forgets things because he asks me to tell him stories when he does. He always wants to hear about my childhood when he forgets and I tell him to cheer him up. I hope you're right. It's just so scary to see him (who i care about and is young) to go through this. Im only a year older and I try my best to keep his spirits high.
Hello, I am amazed to hear your sad post. I have certainly never heard of a case of Dementia in one so young.
Others may mention Lasting Power of Attorney. This is a legal document in which the Donor( patient) declares that when they cease to have what is called Capacity..... ie when then are no linger to make life decisions safely, a nominated Attorney ( usually one of the family) can step in. I'm not sure that he will be able to complete one before he is 18. This is something he will have to make enquiries about.
Is your boyfirend at school/college. There will be counsellors there, although I don't suppose they will have had any experience of this illness at his age either.
Thank you for standing by your friend, but please don't cut yourself off from the rest of your peer group entirely. Sadly this is something that many of us do without meaning to.
Good luck..... Maureen.x.
Others may mention Lasting Power of Attorney. This is a legal document in which the Donor( patient) declares that when they cease to have what is called Capacity..... ie when then are no linger to make life decisions safely, a nominated Attorney ( usually one of the family) can step in. I'm not sure that he will be able to complete one before he is 18. This is something he will have to make enquiries about.
Is your boyfirend at school/college. There will be counsellors there, although I don't suppose they will have had any experience of this illness at his age either.
Thank you for standing by your friend, but please don't cut yourself off from the rest of your peer group entirely. Sadly this is something that many of us do without meaning to.
Good luck..... Maureen.x.
It sounds to me as though you are handling it OK. Dont worry about the future, you will learn as you go along and we can answer questions here. We none of us knew much about dementia to start with and we all had to learn. I will say, though, that it is a hard road and your relationship will undoubtedly change along the way, but nothing will change overnight.
He is in school. His counsellor knows about it but as you said they don't have experience in it. I stand by him because if I don't no one else will. No one takes the time to listen to him on it but doctors and his parents. I don't cut myself off from my friend group, I try to include him in it so he doesn't feel like he's on the outside. But thank you for your words. They help
You said there is a family history of Alzheimer's, you also said the doctor said it was a rare case.
I assume the doctor has done blood tests for other treatable conditions.
Has a referral been made to a consultant?
A cat scan could show up a brain problem, which may be treatable.
As others have suggested at the start of this thread it could be psychological, brought on by stress, depression or anxiety. Anxiety could be fuelled by a knowledge of family history.
How old were the family members when they were affected by dementia?
It's false logic to assume that family history means it is Alzheimer's at such a young age especially if others were not affected at an equivalent age .
Initial efforts should be directed to excluding everything else.
I assume the doctor has done blood tests for other treatable conditions.
Has a referral been made to a consultant?
A cat scan could show up a brain problem, which may be treatable.
As others have suggested at the start of this thread it could be psychological, brought on by stress, depression or anxiety. Anxiety could be fuelled by a knowledge of family history.
How old were the family members when they were affected by dementia?
It's false logic to assume that family history means it is Alzheimer's at such a young age especially if others were not affected at an equivalent age .
Initial efforts should be directed to excluding everything else.
They did other tests and he has seen a consultant. He has been through so many tests since it was first noticed. They know it's Alzheimer's. There are rare cases and at this point they know it is a rare case for him. They have slowed progression and continue to run tests so I think it's Alzheimer's. He has no memory of before 4th grade and only some from then until high school.
Helpinghim, you might be able to go on a dementia course to learn more about the ilness. Try contacting the Alzheimer Society directly if you are interested and they might have some suggestions.
Alzheimers is a life changing illness. It progresses at different rates in different people. With Alzheimers loss of processes stops them doing tasks....for example, making a cup of tea might become difficult because they lose the ability to do one of the steps, they might forget to put the water into the cup.
It is a big commitment to provide support. Eventually the person you know may be harder to find. There can be very tricky behaviour. You will have to say to yourself what sort of things would be unacceptable, and ideally have a plan B.
Most carers I think say if 'such an such' happens then things will have to change....when things get really bad then their loved ones go into a home to be cared for by professionals.
You have to look after yourself too.
Alzheimers is a life changing illness. It progresses at different rates in different people. With Alzheimers loss of processes stops them doing tasks....for example, making a cup of tea might become difficult because they lose the ability to do one of the steps, they might forget to put the water into the cup.
It is a big commitment to provide support. Eventually the person you know may be harder to find. There can be very tricky behaviour. You will have to say to yourself what sort of things would be unacceptable, and ideally have a plan B.
Most carers I think say if 'such an such' happens then things will have to change....when things get really bad then their loved ones go into a home to be cared for by professionals.
You have to look after yourself too.
Hi, sorry to hear your news. As with some other posters, to be your friend's age with Alzheimer's is a lot to deal with. Make sure you also get support.
I note you say '4th grade'. Are you in the States? If you are there are some knowledgeable Stateside posters such as Amy in the US. Just some of othe suggestions I suspect are likely to be mainly UK provisions. I recall Amy in the US taking a course on Dementia. Not sure of the likely cost implications.
Best of luck and take care.
I note you say '4th grade'. Are you in the States? If you are there are some knowledgeable Stateside posters such as Amy in the US. Just some of othe suggestions I suspect are likely to be mainly UK provisions. I recall Amy in the US taking a course on Dementia. Not sure of the likely cost implications.
Best of luck and take care.
A very good explanation of dementia using a 'bookcase' analogy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iOnxYbdrrE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iOnxYbdrrE
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