moving care homes--what does that look like?

[mungobella]

My father in law will hopefully be moving care homes very soon--he has behaviours that the staff at his current home are not equipped to deal with. My husband and I have finally found a home that we're happy with and we think they will be able to move him pretty quickly. We still aren't quite sure what this is going to look like in a practical sense, though. Should we tell him in advance of the move that he will be moving, or should we just roll up one day and tell him he's moving to a new home? He doesn't have a lot of short term memory, but he occasionally remembers things from day to day (usually events, such as the singers coming or a trip out). On the day, should we have him help with the packing, or try to have one of us move him while the other one stays behind to pack up his things? Or do we both move him to the new place and come back later for his stuff? How have other people handled this? He gets agitated quite easily (which is why we're moving him), so we're anxious to try to make it as smooth as possible.

 

[Beate]

I didn't have to do this yet but I would not give any advance warning. I would distract him in the current care home with food or activities, pack up his belongings and ship them to the new care home, then get him there with minimal fuss into a room that has all his familiar belongings in it already.

 

[Witzend]

We had to move an aunt from an ordinary residential home, where she'd gone when her dementia was still in early stages, to one that catered for dementia. The home had made it clear from the start that if her behaviour started to bother the non dementia residents - which it had - we would need to find somewhere else. But they managed her fine for 2 years.
I don't think she was told much in advance, if anything. We had thought the move would be very unsettling for her, but in fact she barely seemed to notice and settled pretty well (or as well as she was ever going to) and quite quickly.

The first home was very helpful in suggesting the alternative, which was lovely, and where she was able to stay until she died.

 

[mungobella]

Thank you for your advice and experiences. It's great to hear that your aunt made the transition successfully, Witzend--my FIL moved from the residential ward to the dementia ward of his care home and it went a lot better than we expected, but you do hear so many horror stories.

 

[Sarest]

We Moved Dad Yesterday

We moved care homes yesterday!

We navigated this ourselves as dad is self funding and so noone - despite trying everywhere were happy to guide or help us...this is what we did..

We decided that only the manager should know we had given notice, until the last minute in case staff let it slip, dad has anxiety with his dementia and we didn't want to trigger this. We didn't need to give notice but this gave us time to think of the game plan.

We didn't tell dad till the morning of the move and as dad thinks he's in a hotel - relating to when he worked - staff told him he was moving to a different hotel. This didn't impress him to be honest.

Whilst he was downstairs having lunch we packed up his room. Lunch was in case he got stressed and refused to eat or drink later on in the day. He couldn't see we were packing his stuff, again to avoid triggering his anxiety and him getting stressed.

My sister then went ahead to the new home so we could get his familiar objects /pictures set up to help him orientate himself.

I then drove dad, with his medication and discharge info, to the new home when he was ready. Normally he doesn't like to go out so I told him we would go out for a drive and look at the new hotel room. Which he was more than happy with.

The move itself was stressful and nerve wracking for us, but dad was ok on the day. He has since become stressed and is trying to work out what's happened etc but this was something we expected. He is in a dementia focused setting now so we are hoping he will slowly settle.

If you have any questions or want any further advice, just shout!