Help to understand

[Wilson64]

My father is 86 and has spent the last 6 months in a MH assessment unit, in the last 11 weeks he has had 6 hospital admissions for infections, including pneumonia, he has not been able to recover and continues to deteriorate.
He has withdrawn gradually from food and fluids, he has no mobility and confined to bed, taking a few sips with a thickening powder, he speach has disappeared and he has delirium, often reaches out and is heartbreaking to watch. my father is under 8 stone in weight and I have been advised my father is at the final stages of his life,there is no quality to this existence but his journey has been so rapid. the consultant has advised me that he will pass away within 6 months, but I feel inwardly I now only have a short window with him but I am struggling to determine what is keeping him going, he obviously has resilience, he is terribly frail and devastating to watch him deteriorate this way, I wonder if anyone else has experienced the same

 

[Cat27]

Hello & welcome to TP

It's unfathomable how people can hang on. Watching someone you love fade away is incredibly difficult. I wish you strength.

 

[Lifebuoy44]

Keeping Going - a bit of a mystery

My father is 86 and has spent the last 6 months in a MH assessment unit, in the last 11 weeks he has had 6 hospital admissions for infections, including pneumonia, he has not been able to recover and continues to deteriorate.
He has withdrawn gradually from food and fluids, he has no mobility and confined to bed, taking a few sips with a thickening powder, he speach has disappeared and he has delirium, often reaches out and is heartbreaking to watch. my father is under 8 stone in weight and I have been advised my father is at the final stages of his life,there is no quality to this existence but his journey has been so rapid. the consultant has advised me that he will pass away within 6 months, but I feel inwardly I now only have a short window with him but I am struggling to determine what is keeping him going, he obviously has resilience, he is terribly frail and devastating to watch him deteriorate this way, I wonder if anyone else has experienced the same

Hi, Wilson64. I've been away from TP for ages, but read your post this morning.
My own Dad died nine years ago. He, too, declined quickly but decided (on the Thursday before Easter) that he wanted to see Easter Sunday. He just hung in there and died at 01.30 Easter Sunday morning, surrounded by a dozen or so of his family.
We were so impressed by his determination, just as you are with your Dad.
It is clear to me that you love him and I hope it is clear to him also. That will be his greatest comfort and blessing. My thoughts and best wishes are with you and others who love him like you do.

 

[LadyA]

Hi Wilson64. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. It's a truly dreadful time for any family. What your dad is going through at the moment sounds very like what my husband went through. He had aspiration pneumonia. It is very heartbreaking to watch our loved ones fade away, and stop eating and eventually, drinking too. Everything in us is screaming to just get some nourishment into them, to "make them stronger". But the reality is that as the body's system prepares to shut down, they can no longer eat or drink, but it isn't that they are starving. The body can no longer process food. My husband was sent back to his nursing home to be cared for by familiar people in his own room and bed, where he was happy. The doctors said he would probably last about 8 weeks. He died 10 weeks later.

 

[Wilson64]

Thank you so much for your kind words, the sadness in all of this is that my father is stuck in hospital with no care home placement which is currently being sought but I am tied up in social care , I am desperate to get him to somewhere where he can be cared fore in a non clinical setting but sadly I do not think we have time and even if we do the surroundings would not be familiar, not only does this illness cause rapid deterioration it separates life from reality and comfort... how so very cruel