Is this the end?

Little Sadie

Registered User
Sep 2, 2016
13
0
My mum started to decline noticeably about 5 weeks ago. I noticed she wasn't using her right arm anymore and her right hand had a tremor. She became very withdrawn and has gradually stopped eating and is finding drinking difficult. She has been in bed in the nursing home for the last 2 weeks and they give her personal care in bed, rather than getting her up for a wash in the bathroom. Last night I was called by the staff who were very concerned she was going to die. Her breathing was very shallow and she was unresponsive. As I was 90 miles away trying to clear her house for sale, I rushed back and arrived at 11pm. When I spoke to her and touched her she opened her eyes and from then on was responsive, even talking in words that made sense, rather than the usual gobbledygook. She drank a 250 ml bottle of Peroni and kept saying she loved beer! I left an hour and a half later when she fell asleep.

Today she's unable to drink and is very sleepy and not very responsive, although she did tell me to shut up when I asked her if she was in pain! She's like a skeleton and is being turned every 4 hours. The staff are concerned but no one has any idea how near the end she is. I am trying to get the house sale to completion next week and am praying she can keep going until all is completed. Otherwise it will all be put on hold for months.

She has always been physically strong but is obviously getting weaker, although she is incontinent of urine so there is water inside her. It's so awful to see her in this state. I want her to go for her sake but the thought of losing my mum is horrible to contemplate. Don't think I've cried as much as I have these last few weeks.
 

100 miles

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
109
0
Little Sadie,

I am sorry to hear about your mum. But it sounds as if she is comfortable and being well looked after. It sounds as if she is very weak. No-one can be certain about when the end will come.

Thinking of you,

100 miles
 

Plisnit

Registered User
Feb 1, 2017
32
0
Hi
It's a question I had asked myself over the last few weeks. My mum died last Wednesday, but she had not been eating properly for weeks and was all skin and bone. The care staff at the home had stopped getting her out of bed because she was so weak and she had not eaten or drunk anything at all for five days when she died.
From other posts I have read it is a hard call to say when somebody is going to die and it's really hard if you love a fair distance away as often there is little warning. Even the doctors get it wrong. At 10.00 on Wednesday the GP told me it would be between 24 and 48 hours and she died an hour and a half later.
Keep strong, the important thing is that your mum is calm and comfortable and being well looked after.
 

patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
837
0
Fife Scotland
sorry to read about mum Sadie. My sister and I are currently clearing mum's house for sale, can't go through another winter. But yes we had that on mum's birthday last november but she bounced back. She is now tired and just wants to die to be with dad, and to be honest I'm past crying. She said she wanted to die, and I replied well probably be the best for us all if she did die. Sorry, I too have a life and I have a husband who has Parkinson's, I am not super woman but everyone thinks I should be.