My husband's mother had alzhiemers, his memory has been slowly getting worse. He knows it is but refuses to go to Dr about it. He had an MRI for an eye problem he had and Dr told us his brain is fine, no sign of alzhiemers. His personality has changed, his temper is worse, he can't remember how to do some simple things. My question is, how do I get him to go to nuerologist for complete testing, or do I? Do I just have to wait till he doesn't realize what's going on to get him in there? Any suggestions would be appreciated, not looking forward to what's ahead.
Memory changes in husband
- Thread starter sweetzer67
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Hello, Sweetzer, and welcome to the forum. You will find there is lots of support and a wealth of experience here among the members, and you never feel quite so alone with things!
My husband initially was diagnosed by his gp, who sent him for an initial appointment with a psychiatry of old age consultant, and a CT scan. My husband had the scan, which was clear and showed no sign (apparently) of alzheimer's disease. The consultant managed to do an initial test, which my husband could have done with his eyes closed and one hand behind his back! But the consultant knew he had dementia, his gp knew he had dementia, and I knew it. My husband, however, furiously denied that there was anything wrong. He refused to go back to the consultant again, because the word "psychiatrist" was on his door, and refused to undertake any more tests, and refused to take any medication.
It was nearly three years before anything changed. By that stage, his paranoia and delusions had grown by leaps and bounds, and he was hallucinating 24/7. He was living in his own personal horror film, so he was happy to go to the doctor for help, happy to go back to the consultant (who he came to think of as his best friend!), and happy to take whatever medication they gave him.
Sometimes, you can get a person to go for help. Sometimes, you can't. Or not until, as you say, things have progressed. You could try (if the doctor was agreeable) making an appointment for yourself, and asking your husband to accompany you. I used to do that, and the doctor would take a quick look at my throat, listen to my chest, all the while chatting away to my husband, and then he'd say "Seeing as you're here, I'll take a quick look at you too! Two for the price of one, eh?" Of course, your husband would probably realise if he was being tested! In the meantime, I suggest that maybe you work on practical things, like getting power of attorney in place . You could do one for yourself too. And making sure your Wills are in order. Separate as much as you can, your finances from your husband's in case he needs to be assessed for Care in the future, as only his savings would be taken into account.
My husband initially was diagnosed by his gp, who sent him for an initial appointment with a psychiatry of old age consultant, and a CT scan. My husband had the scan, which was clear and showed no sign (apparently) of alzheimer's disease. The consultant managed to do an initial test, which my husband could have done with his eyes closed and one hand behind his back! But the consultant knew he had dementia, his gp knew he had dementia, and I knew it. My husband, however, furiously denied that there was anything wrong. He refused to go back to the consultant again, because the word "psychiatrist" was on his door, and refused to undertake any more tests, and refused to take any medication.
It was nearly three years before anything changed. By that stage, his paranoia and delusions had grown by leaps and bounds, and he was hallucinating 24/7. He was living in his own personal horror film, so he was happy to go to the doctor for help, happy to go back to the consultant (who he came to think of as his best friend!), and happy to take whatever medication they gave him.
Sometimes, you can get a person to go for help. Sometimes, you can't. Or not until, as you say, things have progressed. You could try (if the doctor was agreeable) making an appointment for yourself, and asking your husband to accompany you. I used to do that, and the doctor would take a quick look at my throat, listen to my chest, all the while chatting away to my husband, and then he'd say "Seeing as you're here, I'll take a quick look at you too! Two for the price of one, eh?" Of course, your husband would probably realise if he was being tested! In the meantime, I suggest that maybe you work on practical things, like getting power of attorney in place . You could do one for yourself too. And making sure your Wills are in order. Separate as much as you can, your finances from your husband's in case he needs to be assessed for Care in the future, as only his savings would be taken into account.
The other comment about arranging Lasting Power of Attorney (one for finance and one for health and welfare) is critical.
What I would also suggest is make some notes about what you are observing , over say 2 weeks, with dates and times. Then write to his doctor , saying that you have concerns and giving the list of observations that lead you to be concerned. Then ask for the doctors to help. For example a common ruse is to have the GP call the person in for a general health check.
When talking to health or social services, it always works better if you can provide details of what you have noticed with dates and times.
There are other causes of such problems, it may not be dementia. You are right it needs follow up.
I hope this helps.
