Depressed and refusing to get cleaned and eat

[Rubbah]

My dad now been diagnosed with severe dementia/alzheimers, and heavily depressed.

He refuses to get cleaned, and have had to be cleaned using force.
He has said that he wants to die and the doctor has put him on DNR.
He refuses to eat, but still drinks milk so he has gotten meds and nutrition powder through this. He has now not eaten in a week.

The doctor has started him on anti-depressant medications, so far they have had a small effect and gotten him out of bed a bit more. The doctor is increasing the dose and hoping to see some more improvement.

I am hoping to get some feedback from others that have been in similar situations, so I can better understand what I can expect.

If the anti-depressants are effective, could he start eating again?

If he does not start eating again, how long could he still live? He is getting nutrients trough drink, but will not be resuscitated if his heart or lungs gives up.

I do not live in the same country as my dad, so visiting him and access his state of mind is difficult, and my sister is his care-taker and get all the information from the doctor and relays that information to us. I am so out-of touch with his day to day, and I feel like such a terrible daughter who's unable to visit and give him any comfort at this time. I am also pregnant, so travelling is a bit complicated at the moment.

In so many ways I have already lost my dad, little by little ever since he started slipping. I am still terrified of losing what I have left.

 

[DMac]

Oh Rubbah, that is a terrible situation to be in!

I assume you are in regular contact with your father and/ or your sister? All you can do is to be there for them, offer a sympathetic ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Apart from that, there is not much more that you can do, other than wait and hope.

And welcome to TP, by the way. Please post on here any time you like.

I hope your father gets better soon. Best wishes.

 

[Rubbah]

Thanks DMac.

Yeah, getting regular updates.

 

[ferniegirl]

Hi Rubbah

My mum stopped eating a year ago and hardly drank anything. She was on death's door and then the doctor changed her anti-depressant to Mirtazipene, which has a well-known side effect of weight gain. She soon started eating like a horse, gained weight and is still eating well although her Alzheimers is worsening.

I am not medically qualified but I would imagine that if he is just drinking milk and staying hydrated he could survive for quite a while but how long I have no idea.

It must be so hard for you being in another country but with this awful disease there is not much you can do. I find my presence doesn't comfort my mum much. You are a caring daughter who is staying as involved as she can by keeping in regular touch but your main priority is the new life inside of you so don't be too hard on yourself, easier said than done, I know x